— When we last left off, Mami dragged Kazuya behind a conveniently large rock and planted a kiss on his lips. So when this episode starts up, he thinks back to when they first met, when they started dating, their first (and maybe only) kiss during the relationship, so on and so forth. He remembers her telling him that she doesn’t have my experience with the opposite sex, so they can be clumsy and awkward together. Knowing what we know about Mami, she’s probably not being entirely honest. Probably. That makes us cynical, huh? Well, Kazuya has the opposite problem. He takes everything people say at face value, and adults can’t be that… defenseless, I suppose. He’s like a child who believes everything he’s told, so it never crosses his mind that Mami might be deceiving him. Even now, she’s deceiving him. She tells Kazuya that she just couldn’t control herself. She just had to kiss him right there and then. Uh-huh. Sounds like obvious bullshit to most of us, but Kazuya has fallen for her again. Hell, take Chizuru. There is absolutely no deception with her. When you rent her, you have to pay before the “date” can commence. You have to know it’s an act… but Kazuya flipped out at her in the first episode, because he somehow thought she was being dishonest with him. So is he just innocent or dumb? He’s a grade-A idiot.
— Anyways, good ol’ granny is still hooked on gacha, but on the bright side, she’s going to be discharged soon. Unfortunately, she’s still as pushy as ever.
— The same can be said about Kazuya’s friends. They assume that Chizuru must be rich, so they’re already making plans to party at her place. Christ, do people really do this with people they barely know? Pump the brakes.
— Kibe is the only person who seems remotely sensible… and well, that’ll come to play in a short bit.
— Emboldened by Mami’s obvious lie and feeling the guilt over lying to his grandmother, Kazuya decides that he must definitively break things off with Chizuru. Hm, good idea. Lying is bad~! Unfortunately, the guy is (again) a grade-A idiot, so he decides to make a big announcement about their impending break-up right here and now… in front of all his friends. Uh… why? I wonder if his parents ever buried their faces in their hands and wondered, “Why can’t you just be normal?”
— Well, Kibe’s pissed. He isn’t blind. He’s seen Kazuya fawn over Mami all day. Maybe the others have noticed too, but they don’t feel comfortable saying anything about it. But your best bro, on the other hand, has the right to confront you when you’re being an idiot, and that’s exactly what Kibe does… except he might have gone a little too far. He pretty much lays the guy out. Obviously, I think Kazuya is a pretty shit person, but I’m non-violent. I don’t think I’ve thrown a punch since I was in kindergarten.
— Again, Kazuya plays the insanely stupid “You don’t know anything” card, so he has the gall to hit Kibe back. Yeah… ’cause you lied to your best friend, and with the facts that he’s been given, it sure looks as though you’re cheating on your girlfriend. It’s almost as if… lying is bad! Oh no, the consequences of my actions are coming back to bite me in the ass! Who could have predicted this!
— Kazuya can’t help making everything awkward, so he starts openly weeping in front of everyone over how much his break-up with Mami destroyed him. He was sooooo hurt. Dude, it was a one-month relationship.
— Kibe also speaks some much-needed truth to Mami, but hey, at least someone has enough composure not to flip out in front of everyone.
— In the aftermath, Kazuya and Chizuru agree privately that they need to stop lying to everyone… this is like the 8th time that they’ve had this damn discussion. So y’know, all I can do is just roll my eyes at them.
— Chizuru isn’t mad or anything either. You could say that she’s the consummate professional. But like I’ve observed in previous episodes, she seems to have a soft spot for helpless losers like Kazuya. Who knows? Maybe guys like him just trigger her maternal instinct, ’cause she’s now calling him bold and manly. Really? Announcing a break-up in front of everybody when it isn’t their business? Punching your best friend even though you’ve been deceiving him this entire time? Sobbing pathetically over the dissolution of a one-month relationship? That’s manly to Chizuru? Well, no wonder she’s the main haremette in this stupid show.
— Like before, even when Kazuya tries to sympathize with Chizuru, he makes it all about himself. Can he stop it with the self-pity for just one second? Sure, he’s an optimistic guy who can never see any wrong in girls… but he’s still a self-centered, lying prick.
— Ah, Chizuru’s poor friends must be worried sick about her. She’s been gone for two hours, and she still doesn’t think she needs to at least send them a message.
— Again, maybe your friend wouldn’t jump to conclusion if you didn’t lie.
— Elsewhere, Kibe takes Chizuru aside and starts defending Kazuya. He starts going on and on about how his buddy’s optimism means that he’ll never give up. We get some backstory on how he kept watering a plant until it bloomed. In other words, he’ll keep going until he gets the best results. So if Chizuru just sticks it out, Kibe is sure that Kazuya will eventually make her happy. That’s nice and all, but people are obviously not plants. People can’t afford to sit around and wait for someone to get their shit together. Kazuya is an adult now. That doesn’t mean he can’t make mistakes or fuck up, but there’s a limit to this. Kazuya’s been fucking up since the first episode. Hell, probably since the day he could walk and talk.
— Besides, Kibe is too nice to to his buddy. Hell, I bet the reason the protagonist ended up this way is because his loved ones are kinda enabling him.
— In any case, Kibe hands Chizuru two tickets to a boat ride… I guess it’s a romantic boat ride? Chizuru then tells Kazuya that they should at least accept Kibe’s good gesture, but O-M-G, this is totally the last time that they pretend to date. They will totally break up after this. Uh-huh.
— Chizuru’s been under the weather all day and being on the boat is probably just making it worse. Still, she finds it in herself to continue encouraging Kazuya to go get Mami. I guess they’re both fooled by that girl’s antics.
— Kazuya soon gets a call from Mami inviting him to take a dip in a pool with her. Even after all the drama today, the girl can’t seem to get enough of it. She probably feels as though she just needs to make one more move in order to close this out… whatever “this” is.
— Meanwhile, Chizuru is feeling dizzy and nauseous, so she probably wanders outside to get some fresh air. Her mistake is getting too close to the railing. Right on cue, the boat encounters some choppy waters, so just like that, the girl goes overboard. Naturally, Kazuya jumps in after her.
— According to the preview for next week’s episode, Chizuru is going to be shocked that Kazuya saves her. Uh, why? He’s immature and shallow, but I like to think he wouldn’t let a person die. I like to think most of us wouldn’t let some random person die… unless it’s literally Hitler or something.
This show sounds so aggravating, it’s making me upset just -reading- about it. I can’t imagine actually watching it. Maybe that’s the appeal, and people are hate-watching this show in the same way I’m hate-reading about it.