Alright, let’s see what Dumb and Dumber are up to.

— When we last left off, Chizuru offered to let Kazuya sleep in the same room as her, so when this episode begins, he’s already reading too much into the situation. In fact, some of his conclusions are downright gross. Not surprisingly, the simplest explanation is often the correct one.

— Later that night, the guy can’t sleep. When that happens to me, I usually just pull out my phone and start reading. This guy, however, decides that he wants to have a serious conversation. Dude, can’t this wait?

— Plus, he asks the same dumb shit that she asked last week. I mean, what lengths? When she gave him CPR, she was no longer in any danger.

— Even though Chizuru doesn’t give Kazuya a response to the previous question, he somehow takes this as a sign that he should keep talking. He starts droning on and on about how he doesn’t want to tell their grandmas the truth yet. Why? Because whenever he’s with her, he feels the desire to become a better person. Like I said before, the sad puppy shit works on Chizuru, so even though they should’ve stopped lying episodes ago, she suddenly pipes up and agrees to keep being his fake girlfriend. Until he finds a real girlfriend, she’ll play the fake one. Isn’t that kinda dumb, though? How are you gonna find a real girlfriend if you’re wasting both time and money hanging out with an actor?

— But wait, they should totally stop lying though! Just not now! But as soon as possible! Just totally not tomorrow! Sigh, these fucking idiots…

— Kazuya wants to tell his buddies that he and Chizuru are not breaking up, which is normal, I guess. But for some reason, she also needs to be there with him. It has to be done in person, which I find kinda hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever told my friends in person that I was dating or dumping someone.

— Afterwards, Chizuru says that they need to lay out some ground rules… which are the exact damn rules we’ve had since the beginning (he needs to keep paying her, and he should be honest when giving her reviews).

— Somehow, they bump into one of Kazuya’s nerdier friends, and he ropes them into a double date. He’s rather forceful about it, which is odd. Almost suspicious if you ask me. I don’t like people dragging me to stuff out of the blue, but Kazuya’s kind of a wimp. As for Chizuru, she’s busy being tsundere to protest.

— Oh yeah, now that Mami has been… slain, I suppose, we need a new competitor. We need a new girl to try and steal Kazuya away from Chizuru. Yeah, he’s such a catch, I know. Welp, here’s the new challenger… aaaaaand she looks like she’s still in high school. I guess that’s how it usually goes. When you can’t date someone your own age, try and prey on someone immature.

— Once he’s alone, our protagonist whines about how he’ll never manage to find a real girl. I don’t know why guys like him treat this like it’s rocket science. It’s not. You just have to be able to put up a mirror and take a long, hard look at yourself. Just earlier, Kazuya was drooling over Chizuru’s refined personality. Well, guess what? Maybe he should be a little more refined. He thinks about her silky hair. Great! Maybe he should think about changing up his hairstyle. Find one that is more trendy! Last but not least, he loves the way Chizuru dresses. Ah, maybe — just maybe — girls are attracted to dudes who don’t wear graphic t-shirts. I mean, c’mon, this is common sense. If women have to look attractive, why wouldn’t the same apply to men? If women are to be desired, then so are men. Even if you’re not naturally attractive, a lot of girls will recognize the effort. And guess what? Chizuru tells Kazuya later in the episode that effort is attractive.

— Look, beauty is obviously subjective. I’m sure there’s someone out there who would love a dude who goes on dates in a graphic t-shirt. But if Kazuya isn’t impressing the girls that he wants to get with, then maybe he needs to become the guy that those girls would want. And if anyone says, “I don’t want to change because I want them to love me for me,” then accept that you might not get what you want. Something has to give. Life isn’t a harem anime. Hot girls don’t just fall into your lap.

— Well, guess what! She just so happens to be the nerdy friend’s girlfriend! Her name is Ruka, and it’s obvious to the viewers that she’s a rental girlfriend much like Chizuru, but Kazuya doesn’t know any better. Hell, he’s too busy ogling her in front of Chizuru.

— The nerdy friend has taken everyone bouldering. Why? So he can check the girls out. Great, so he’s a sleezebag, too.

— Even though she’s never done it before, Chizuru seems like a natural at almost anything… except telling the truth. But I kid, I kid… On the other hand, both Kazuya and the new girl are struggling. I guess that’s how they’re gonna frame it. Chizuru will be the ideal girlfriend. Perhaps she is out of Kazuya’s league. Meanwhile, a girl like Ruka is clumsy and not-quite-so-perfect. She’s more… “attainable.”

— In the middle of the date, Ruka asks Chizuru if she’s a rental girlfriend. She should know because she probably is one. Anyways, she then challenges Chizuru to kiss Kazuya. If they’re a couple, a kiss should be no trouble, right? In fact, kisses shouldn’t be a big deal. Actors do it all the time. In some cultures, kisses are a form of greeting. I feel like if Chizuru is gonna be a rental girlfriend, a quick peck on the lips shouldn’t be that difficult. It’s not like she has to full-on tongue-wrestle the guy.

— Plus, Chizuru and Kazuya aren’t very smart on their feet. If Ruka wants to play dirty, then play dirty with her back. Dare her to kiss her nerdy boyfriend. Alas, they don’t think of this. Instead, Chizuru pulls off a lame attempt at faking a kiss.

— Kazuya soon makes an excuse about how Chizuru has to leave and visit her grandma. After everyone decides to go home for the day, it’s now Kazuya’s turn to be confronted by Ruka. Eh, even if Chizuru is a rental girlfriend, why does she care? It’s not her business.