Utage needs money to support her oshi, so she has a part-time housekeeping job. As luck would have it, she gets assigned to the home of Tamon, the oshi in question. Utage quickly learns, however, that her oshi is not quite as confident and outgoing in real life as he is onstage. They often say you should never meet your heroes, because, well, we’re all human. As such, even our biggest heroes are flawed. And boy, do I know it! I often get asked, “Who’s your role model?” I find it hard to answer that question, because so many people I used to respect end up being giant… well, for a lack of a better word, turds. I grew up watching Kobe Bryant and the Lakers win championships after championships. What happened? He was soon charged with rape. Was he ever convicted? No. But shhh, don’t tell the Lakers fans this, but he probably did it. What about Clayton Kershaw? In his peak, he was practically a shoo-in for the Cy Young award every year! Shh, he’s probably a huge bigot who’s just smart enough to know he shouldn’t be too open about it.

“But you’re just mentioning athletes!”

You’re right! Okay, how about Chomsky? Sadly, he’s been linked with Epstein. Barack Obama? Guilty of war crimes. Even Teddy Roosevelt was a weirdo larping as a frontiersman and had some very racist things to say. Lots of folks have done great things, but in my mind, they can hardly be called great people. Rather, they are just people like you or me. But I’m afraid I’ve gotten off-track. Tamon likely isn’t guilty of anything serious like rape or hating the LGBT community or drone striking innocent people at a wedding. He’s just not the picture perfect idol that Utage thought he was. Instead, he’s this… nervous ball of anxiety. In his own words, he’s a “gloom-and-doom loser.”

That’s basically the gist of the show: the person you see on TV doesn’t line up with the person you see in real life. Tamon feels guilty over this — way, way too guilty. He feels as though he’s deceiving his fans, which is true in a way, but I mean… that’s what all entertainers do? And now, with the rise of internet influencers, it’s more of the same. People sell an image. You and I sell an image. My LinkedIn profile certainly isn’t full of the mistakes I’ve made over my long coding career. It’s full of bullshit metrics to catch the eyes of recruiters. That’s just how it goes. Plus, if anything, fans are the ones deluding themselves. Fans are the ones saying shit like, “Tamon-kun saved the world with just his face again.” And sure, when Utage said that, she was just being silly. It’s really not that deep… for her. But there are plenty of people who do say something like that and wholly believe it. We’re the ones who lionize people to be more than who they really are. We’re the ones guilty of setting lofty, impossible expectations. We expect idols to be pure, then crash out when it turns out they have a secret boyfriend or girlfriend.

I suppose you could argue that Tamon’s fans skew on the younger side of the spectrum, so they’re less likely to reconcile the vast gulf between his onstage persona and his actual personality. This might be fueling our idol’s need for mental self-flagellation. In his mind, the fact that he’s tricking a bunch of kids his age or younger makes him ever the more guilty. It doesn’t help that he’s been fed complete nonsense by someone who is likely a notable person in his industry. Nevertheless, none of this should fall on his shoulders. It shouldn’t be his responsibility to make sure his fans don’t feel deceived. Rather, this should be a teaching moment for parents. If a kid honestly can’t understand that what they see on TV is just a performance (and sure, there are degrees to this), then A) either they’re too young to be consuming said content or B) their parents aren’t attentive enough. And if you’re too old to have your parents sit you down and have a talk about the performative nature of idols, then you should know better anyway!

Ultimately, this is one of the shows where someone desperately needs to talk to a professional, but instead, they’ll be saved by the heartwarming, earnest efforts of the main character instead — a main character who also happens to be a child. Welp, that’s anime for ya. When kids aren’t battling demon lords in another world and saving the day, they’re playing therapist to one of the Japan’s biggest idol groups. C’est la vie. So over the course of the first episode, you get to see said sixteen-year-old girl do things that someone else should be doing instead: giving Tamon pep talks, cooking for him, helping him take candid selfies in his home, etc. We barely see Utage do the only thing she should be doing, i.e. the cleaning. Where is his manager? Oh, there he is. Look, man, if you were doing your job, the poor girl wouldn’t have to step in.

Utage only got to meet Tamon face-to-face, because one of her coworkers got sick. This isn’t even supposed to be a permanent assignment. When the coworker recovers from her illness, it initially looks like it’s back to the same ol’ routine for our nervous, anxious idol. Nevertheless, in the short amount of time that they’ve spent together, Utage has already imprinted herself onto him. As a result, he somehow manages to spot her stranded in the throng of crazed, raucous concert-goers. I can’t say much about his singing ability, because I absolutely hate this kind of music, but hey, at least he’s got good vision! Then after the concert, Tamon makes a request that no fan can possibly refuse.

Utage’s already in love with him, but a part of her wants to maintain boundaries as both a housekeeper and a respectful fan. But there’s no way she can hold out no matter how much she wants to fight it, especially with him battering away at her defenses. After all, she’s just a teenager with all the requisite teenage desires. The problem, however, is that Tamon is so different from what she normally loves. In other words, Utage would have to “cheat” on her oshi in order to love the actual “Gloomyhara” in front of her. Can she do it? Obviously, duh. It’s already happening. But it might be interesting to see how it happens over the course of the series. Likewise, Tamon’s “b-side” has to eventually develop feelings for his housekeeper, right? Why else would we watch this show? The romance is the veritable carrot-on-the-stick. Hell, maybe he already has fallen in love and just doesn’t know it yet. Y’know, it’s the classic anime move. Just… don’t turn this into a harem with the other boys in the group.

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Stray thoughts & observations:

• The closest I ever got to idols was watching some of Hololive’s talents during the pandemic when we were all stuck indoors and going crazy. Even then, I actually hated Hololive’s one calling card: the music. You don’t know how many times I’ve heard the same karaoke rendition of that damn Demon Slayer song. Boku wo tsurete…. SU SU MEEEEEEE~
• I don’t currently follow a Hololive talent, but the reason why isn’t particularly interesting. Y’see, I only really enjoy two things on Youtube: people playing games or people talking about dark topics like creepy phenomena or unsolved mysteries. There were a few Hololive talents who were entertaining as gamers, but then they graduated. I eventually just stopped caring about the group as a whole, especially once we got to leave the house.
• I hate when I see dudes lick their lips. I realize it’s just a me thing, but licking your lips is the furthest thing from sexy in my mind. It just gives off creep vibes, male or female.
• So this is the pretty boy, huh? But it’s anime, so it’s all the same to me. Whenever people gush about a hot character, I’m just like, “But they all look the same.” My mind just cannot immerse itself.
• And this is our girl, who is obviously played by Saori Hayami because her voice is just too distinctive. I assume she’s supposed to be a regular teenager gushing over her oshi, but again, I can’t tell the difference between a hot character and an average character. Why is she any less hot than her oshi?
• My first thought here is, “Wow, a full family. Everyone’s present. Even the dog.” Well, I assume that’s a dog, but those ears… Anyway, it’s not rare for anime characters to have both parents around, but it still feels less common than I would like.
• Utage: “Tamon-kun saved the world with just his face again.” See, this is the thing that draws a hard line in the sand between me and idol fans. It’s one thing to like something, it’s another thing entirely to spew weird shit like this. And look, I’m not going around raining on people’s parades. I don’t join fandoms and start bashing people for what they like. I’m just sitting in my tiny corner of the internet, being a boomer about this to myself.
• Oooh yeah, the Hololive girls loved hawking cheaply made, lazily conceived acrylic stands. I guess it’s just an idol thing, huh?
• You could honestly have this desire, but it sounds inauthentic.
• You certainly do.
• I like how he just lives in some dinky, low security apartment. I guess he hasn’t quite hit it that big. Look, I’m just sayin’… some fans are a lil’ crazy. You might wanna protect yourself as an idol. I’ve seen Perfect Blue! I’ve read the news articles about idols being attacked!
• What a slob. But I don’t expect much from a 16-year-old boy. Still, why wouldn’t a famous idol have a handler? And where are his parents?
• Really? You really think someone’s going to stab you for being anxious and riddled with insecurities? I think you’re more likely to be stabbed for having a 16-year-old girl show up at your apartment.
• Also a weird thing to say. I dunno, I can’t imagine how I’d react if someone told me they were glad I was born.
• Oh yeah, Hololive fans also loved ranting about antis. Any criticism was from an anti. It’s kinda funny how much of this show is lining up with my actual experience dipping my toe into the Hololive fandom.
• I thought she was just here to clean, but I guess not. Somehow, a single bite of her food brings his onstage persona to the surface. Tamon better pay her well.
• Ugh, there’s that creepy lips licking thing again. But hey, what can I say when it works on our heroine? Have you seen those clips of dudes trying to sex up baking, so they literally finger their dough or whatever? It’s the grossest thing ever.
• I’ve never heard of tuna spring rolls. I’ve also never seen spring rolls with corn inside them. Ah well, the more you know…
• For the most part, the anime has looked pretty decent. Unfortunately, the idol group is rendered in 3D here, and it’s absolutely jarring. It’s hard to tell in a screenshot, but in motion, it’s an utter eyesore.
• It’s only natural for an idol show to include a performance in its first episode, but… yeah, I’m not vibing with it. I’ve never come across an idol song that I enjoy. Oh well, time to watch this part at 2x speed.