If I still updated the “Say What?” section, that is where this screenshot would go.
Goodbye, Lara Ep. 5
I think I kinda hate half of this show. What do I mean? Well, let’s get the good part out of the way. As I suspected, Lara’s quest doesn’t just involve finding her prince, no matter what Grace wants to tell her. It’s also important for our mermaid to learn about and understand humanity.
This week, Mari’s grandmother demands both girls to get a job. After a long and exhaustive search, a manager at a bakery is kind enough to take them on despite their less-than-ideal interviewing prowess and complete lack of work experience. Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. And thanks to this economy, I’m back there… over and over and over…
It’s both easy and difficult to sympathize with Lara. Like with every entry level job, you have to begin at the bottom. You can’t just jump in and immediately start making pretty, little cakes on your first day. You gotta do the dishes and earn your chops. Predictably, Lara struggles with this. After all, she hasn’t had to work a day in her life. In fact, I don’t really know what she used to do as a mermaid in the ocean. Just float around all day? So of course, an entire shift of pure focus — of non-stop dishwashing — is going to wear the girl out.
But even when she does get the chance to help make the pastries, she struggles with that as well. A big problem is that she has this stupid fish (Grace) whispering in her ear, constantly badgering her about the mission. Find a prince, Lara! What are you doing, Lara? Why aren’t you looking for your true love, Lara! You gotta save your people, Lara! So on the one hand, I found myself a little exasperated with our heroine and her lack of patience. But on the other hand, if she truly believes that the fate of her people hangs in the balance… yeah, helping her boss refine a peach tart does seem like a complete waste of time.
Lara was almost tempted to quit, but in the end, she stuck it out and found satisfaction in a hard day’s work. She even made a major mistake and learned from it. And y’know, this is the part of the show that I actually enjoy. Even though I’m not a fish outta water, literally or figuratively, I can still appreciate her struggle to find meaning and value in life.
What I don’t like is the other half of the story, which continues to be obsessed with being cryptic and mysterious. Lisa will spout nonsense like “I’ll be the one to protect you” but then spend most of the episode not doing anything but sitting in a fucking car with Kota. Near the end of the episode, the two sisters do finally meet, but we still learn nothing! Okay, fine, it sounds like Lisa believes Grace is a liar. Then tell me! Tell me what you do believe, so we can try and work this out!
Instead of answers, Lisa threatens Lara’s current human family. Our heroine thus runs off in a panic while the anime repeatedly cuts to Kota driving on the highway (presumably to do bad things to Mari and the rest of the household). Suddenly, the “dagger” in the sky — the floating object no one ever seems to comment on — reveals itself to be a giant fish, plunges into the highway, and…. and then what? Where did it go? Where does Kota go? In the aftermath, all we see is a broken bridge and a license plate that has seen better days. This is what I mean. Fuck this cryptic shit, man. The other half of the story feels genuine if unoriginal. But this half of the story? It really only takes up like ten percent of every episode, but I hate it so much. I love a good mystery, but this isn’t one of them.
Iron Wok Jan Ep. 5
Still hellbent on humiliating a teenager, the gross food critic organizes a massive cooking tournament for promising young chefs. Don’t you hate it when terrible people have good ideas? I mean, this tournament sounds like a great way for rising stars to showcase their talent. It’s being done for the wrong reasons, though. Oh well, as they often say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
The tournament is quickly under way, so we get to meet all the warriors. There’s this haughty dude who claims to have 400 years of cooking tradition backing him up. There’s also always a kid who looks nothing like a kid. This guy looks more like a lumberjack than a chef. Then there’s this supposed pretty boy surrounded by fawning girls. Unsurprisingly, he’s all about the flair. I’m not gonna remember all of these names nor do I care to try. We gotta have all the stereotypes, so there’s even an uber nerd in this computation… I meant competition, but hey, this works too.
So far, we’ve had boys join the field. How much you wanna bet Kiriko will be the only ~female~ in the competition? I’m scanning… I’m scanning… I’m scanning… yup, I can’t spot a single other girl in the entire competition. Oh wait, wait… there’s one other girl here. One. She is kind enough to eliminate the lumberjack, and yet, the show continues to withhold her name from us. I had to dig it up via Wikipedia. Her name is Celene… Selene…? Whatever, the fact that there are only two female chefs in this contest is pretty hilarious. As we all know, only men can make delicious Chinese food. I’ll be sure to let my mom know that. In the meantime, Kiriko, how does it feel to be one of the two token female characters?
But hey, it’s a cooking show so let’s get back to the food. In the first round, Akiyama whips up a rather unassuming-looking mushroom soup. It initially draws mediocre scores from the judges. They much prefer another competitor’s dish, which might as well be medicine. Ugh, both look nasty. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to taste either of these soups. But y’see, Akiyama’s dish is made from special shrooms. If you get the ratio just right, you’ll concoct a slow-acting hallucinogen. Before you know it, the judges are tripping balls. They not only update their scores, they keep going back for seconds, thirds, and fourths. Man, this isn’t a food competition anymore; this is Breaking Bad. Kiriko agrees with me, because she proceeds to sock Akiyama in the face. I wouldn’t normally condone violence, but he essentially drugged the judges. He needs to grow up and stick to the flavors.
The Insipid Prince’s Furtive Grab for the Throne Ep. 5
The monster hunt is underway, and one of the princesses — the tiny one — tells Arnold that the people will be in trouble if nothing is done. How does she know? Princess Krista has been blessed with the ability to see into the future, so Arnold isn’t the only overpowered member of royalty. She is also rather fond of Arnold, showing us that there is some semblance of brotherly and sisterly love among the younger siblings. They just eventually grow up and become jerks.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for all the princes and princesses. Karlos, for example, is responsible for this whole mess. Derided as a simpleton, Karlos made a deal with the devi-… er, two vampires. Man, what’s with fantasy anime and vampires? Ugh. Well, the point is, the vampires promised Karlos that they would make him look good. Not only would he lead the monster hunt, he would also get an opportunity to save his father from a staged attack, thereby rocketing him up the “Who does daddy love most?” chart. But of course, the vampires are liars. Karlos is also such a simpleton that he goes flying off his horse before their attack even lands! But seriously, the animation is that bad.
Anyway, it’s up to Arnold to save the day again. He deliberately disqualifies himself in order to allow Elna and the rest of his regiment to rush to his father’s aid. Meanwhile, he dons his Silver disguise and convinces his brother Leonard to rally the troops. This, however, requires Arnold to open up massive portals across the kingdom.
Look, I understand that he wants Leonard on the throne. And when this happens, he can presumably live the rest of his days out in peace. But I don’t think this will play out the way he expects it to. Take this situation, for instance. They would be up shit creek without Arnold’s absurdly broken magic. The assassination attempt on their father would likely have succeeded as well as several towns in ruins. Arnold is the only reason why none of this has come to pass. Even when and if Leonard takes the reins of the kingdom, what will have changed? Will their contentious siblings suddenly stop aiming for his head? Will all the various noble families magically fall in line? If Arnold actually believes this, he’s naive as hell. No, the reality is that he’ll never truly get a day of rest. He will have to continue supporting Leonard from behind the scenes. So why not just cut out the middleman and do it yourself?
LIAR GAME Ep. 18
Oof, we’re really in the thick of it this week. Yokoya explains what he thinks Akiyama’s plan is, then he explains how he plans to counter the plan. Then after several smugglers meet with Akiyama, Yokoya spends the entire episode musing over what Akiyama might be thinking, and thus, he plans to keep his team ahead of Akiyama’s. It’s. Just. So. Dry. Now, whenever LIAR GAME gets like this, I would let the inane details wash over me. I would tune in just for Nao’s silly reaction faces. Unfortunately, this entire episode is from Yokoya’s perspective. What a shame. But hey, the round is finally over by the time the credits roll. Of course, we still don’t know who the winner is. That is reserved for next week, and ooooh, it’s gonna have one doozy of an explanation. Plus, the final sixteen rounds were all Nao and Yokoya. I’m sure next week’s episode will let us know exactly what those two talked about. Gosh, I can’t wait.
Young Ladies Don’t Play Fighting Games Ep. 5
The girls are hellbent on attending the next EVO Japan, but they have to get over their first hurdle: convincing Mio’s mom to sign off without hinting anything about the tournament. As a result, they invite themselves over to Mio’s place. The dorm monitors assure her mom that they’ll keep a close eye on Mio. The girl herself even shows off her perfect test scores. So c’moooooon, just let her go to Tokyo with her friends where they’ll do plenty of, uh, non-gaming activities! Ha, I think the mom knows. Sometimes, you gotta let your kids get away with it a little. Not everything — especially not anything that can actually harm them — but if your kid has been on good behavior, has made friends (which means they’re socializing), and they’re getting good grades, you gotta let the small things slide. Let them live their lives! But I’m not a parent, so don’t take any advice from me. :I
Yu seems to be the more casual member of the group. As soon as they get to Tokyo, everyone else just wants to keep practicing. Meanwhile, she’s frustrated that they have to wait until after the tournament to do any sightseeing.
We meet a bunch of new faces. This girl seems to be the one whom Temaki wants to impress, but the story has yet to explain why. A tournament obviously means a lot of people will be in attendance, so we also get a glimpse of the potential competition.
Last but not least, Aya’s roommate continues to live vicariously through her. Girl, it’s 2026. Just get yourself a girlfriend.
Victoria of Many Faces Ep. 5
Victoria is a busy woman in this week’s episode. Feeling bad over the assassin’s impending execution — and the fact that his sister will have to survive on her own — Victoria cooks up a scheme to break him out of jail. But she’s not quitting her day job anytime soon either, as we see her tutor the children in a different language, perform a play with said children, go on dates with Jeff, etc. In the end, she manages to help the assassin escape and leave the country with his sister. She even hands them a bag of money so they can start new lives. Like with adopting Nonna, Victoria didn’t have to do this. She didn’t have to stick her neck out. You could even argue that she’s endangering herself and Nonna unnecessarily. But if it helps redress the balance, especially since she prevented the assassin from taking out a serial rapist, then I guess it’s okay to be stupidly moral sometimes. Unfortunately, the serial rapist — the marquess — is still alive and well. As far as we know, all he’s lost is his title. He can presumably keep preying on other servants. I had hoped to see Victoria finish the job by taking him out. After all, what’s one more task for her already busy schedule? Alas, we see nothing of the sort. Maybe next week.
Unfortunately, someone with connections to her old kingdom spots her on the streets one day with Jeff, so now Hagl agents will certainly go after her. Victoria was just telling herself how difficult it would be to cut ties with people like Jeff. Oh well, just make sure you take Nonna with you when you inevitably make your second escape. But seriously, I would drop this show so fast if Victoria decides to leave Nonna behind to start a third life.
Red River Ep. 5
The old man is none other than Tito’s father, but he harbors Yuri no ill will. Instead, he has her pick out a sword and engage Zuwa in a duel. Really? A high school girl against a grown man with actual combat experience? Ah, but y’see, Yuri picks out an iron sword. That gives her a direct advantage against Zuwa, who’s using a bronze sword. In fact, when their blades clash, Yuri’s weapon outright shatters her opponent’s. Pfft, c’mon, you can’t really expect me to believe iron can shatter bronze. Not only that, Zuwa should have way more strength than Yuri, so his strike should’ve sent Yuri’s weapon flying out of her hands. Look, this isn’t a video game where one metal has a higher attack power or whatever. Iron’s primary advantage was that it was cheaper and — no matter what the anime tells you — much more abundant than the tin required for bronze. In other words, the real reason for switching to iron was logistical; you could field a much larger army than with bronze. Look, I know this is spoiling the fun of the show, but why not just say the sword was blessed with magic? We already know magic exists in this world. Just settle for that. Don’t try and be smart with this whole iron vs bronze thing.
Anyway, Yuri doesn’t even need to land a direct hit on Zuwa. She merely stabs at the battlement he’s standing on, which breaks and sends him falling to his death. The girl continues to fuel the people’s delusion that she’s Ishtar herself. Meanwhile, Tito’s father swears his allegiance to her and Kail, promising to share the secrets of ironworking with the kingdom. Ooooh, aaaaaah… but there’s no rest for the weary, because the Mitanni people are invading. As a result, Kail has to ride off into battle, and Yuri is already begging to accompany him. Man, she sure got over her childhood friend fast.
The Villager of Level 999 Ep. 6
Parna goes and rats out Kurull and the rest of the party to the king. She’s still dead set on eliminating all humans despite having spent time with Alice. You’re telling me she could look the girl straight in the eye and still drive a blade through the demon’s heart? Well, Parna will probably get a redemption arc at some point, but for me, the well has been poisoned. I don’t think I’ll ever like her.
The rest of the episode, however, feels like slice-of-life nonsense. The crew is still trying to get their casino off the ground. Kurull’s rather creepy servant David shows up to help out. In the meantime, Kagami tries to coach Rex and Kurull into getting higher levels, but he’s being oddly sexist about it. Basically, he won’t let Kurull do anything too risky, because she’s a gurl. All the jokes about people not realizing that Takako is a woman are also pretty crass and unnecessary. Why are we doing this? Why are we scraping the bottom of the gender barrel?
Somehow, the conversation turns to marriage. Alice still insists that she’ll become Kagami’s wife one day, which is gross. He tells her they can revisit the conversation in ten years. I guess that solves the legal problem, but the situation is still somewhat grooming-adjacent. Meanwhile, Kurull gets all jealous. Her excuse is that she doesn’t want Alice to have a May-December romance, an idiom I’ve never come across before. Basically, Kurull is against the age gap. Hey, me too! Methinks her concerns are less about Alice, though. She just wants Kagami to herself. But why? We’ve had no significant one-on-one moments between her and Kagami; they have no chemistry. But it’s anime, so I guess we’re doing this now. The focus of the story is still on achieving peace and coexistence between humans and demons, but the story has taken such a wild turn, it’s not even interesting anymore.
Clevatess S2 Ep. 4
Plot, plot, plot. Alicia has been transformed into a dark beast, but her form is that of a small rodent. As a result, she gets captured by one of the students and experimented on. Basically, she has to fight off waves of creepy crawlies. Maybe the rat form says something about Alicia as a person, but I’m not sure what. I usually think of rats as cowardly or dishonorable, none of which applies to Alicia the hero. She’s a rather colorful, cool-looking rat, though. Maybe the old rat stereotypes wouldn’t apply.
Klen finally gives a shit about Alicia’s whereabouts. He goes and pumps Naie for information. Man, this poor girl is just the butt monkey of the story. The basic gist is that there are several Books of Toah, and if you can collect them all, you can revive… the legend. Which was apparently the hero back in the day who almost defeated everyone until Vordin put him down. What’s curious is that Vordin is now working with the evil pope guy to revive the hero. I guess I would ask “What’s up with that!” if I were hooked on this show. But like I’ve said before, the lack of interiority with any of the characters leaves me feeling cold.
How does Klen feel about Alicia being missing for three straight days? Does he miss her? Does he care about their relationship as partners-in-crime? This show doesn’t dwell on any of that. Instead, Klen immediately jumps into action. He summons a Dark Tower, and high upon it, he issues a challenge to all who desire the final Book of Toah. Sure, this keeps the plot moving. There are never any lulls in the story. But I’m simply not emotionally invested. Does it matter to me who ends up winning? Not really. But I’m probably beating a dead horse with this complaint.
My Stepmother and Stepsisters Aren’t Wicked Ep. 4
I’ve started watching this show on 3x speed. I’ll let you know when something interesting happens.
…
Don’t worry, I’ll let you know.
…
Hm, they’re sending Miya to school? Wait, that’s not interesting. Ah well, episode’s over! Come back next week!
Mebius Dust Ep. 4
The researcher continues to be vague as all hell: “Some of my hypotheses about Dust have been refined, and others thrown out. And… There’ve been some new discoveries.” That’s all he has to say to the kids. Talk about a big fat load of nothing, especially considering how we’re four episodes in.
We do get a bit of friction between the various kids. Araki continues to be down in the dumps about his failure to perform last week. Thanks to his precognition ability, he kinda has to be the leader. At the same time, however, he’s soft-spoken and has no confidence whatsoever. Meanwhile, Stella has gripes with another girl when they bring up the possibility of being able to live on the outside. Maybe Stella’s family is poor, so even if she could leave the bubble they’re in, she wouldn’t be able to do much. She might be afraid that everyone will leave her behind. Buuuuuut we’ve yet to meet any of these kids’ families, so this sort of character-building feels a bit hollow. Hell, we’ve rarely even seen or spoken to an adult. We’ve seen this one guy — one. But somehow, there’s a talking shiba inu. What’s up with that?
And before you know it, the kids have to compete in another game already. So yup, we’re done with world-building, we’re done fleshing out these characters. Time to just get back to those stupid competitions that take up the vast majority of every episode. I’m tuning most of it out. Basically, Araki pushes himself too hard, because he thinks the burden of every win or loss falls on him. This alienates Stella, who thinks he isn’t considering their feelings. Pretty typical interpersonal conflict whenever characters have to work together on a team. Plus, when Araki uses too much of his powers, that black reaper thing comes out… but nobody ever addresses it, so I guess it may as well not matter!
Still, Araki is one of those annoying people who will stomp off, whining about how nobody understands him when he also doesn’t communicate his issues with any of his team members. Nevertheless, that pale ghost girl keeps showing up and trying to tempt him to leave his team for her. Why? Beats me! This show never explains anything!
Chainsmoker Cat Ep. 5
Every week, this dumb cat finds a new way to gross me out, but I’m not even sure what I’m looking at. What the hell is she doing?
…
Oh, she has spare smokes just buried in her… what? Stomach? The utter depravity of this… well, she’s not a dog. Anyway, Imoko flashes a mischievous smile as she tries to wrangle the new carton away from Yaniko. We just saw a guy confess to Imoko only to be rejected. Her reasoning? He’s too well put together. It looks like she needs a partner who is a complete disaster; she needs someone she can save and thus feel good about herself. In other words, I guess she’s fucked up too. After all, does this mean she will never truly save Yaniko, because Imoko would lose her purpose? Damn, none of the catgirls are well-adjusted.
Even the catgirls refer to themselves as beastfolk. Doesn’t this imply that there should be other animalkin walking about? Like dogpeople? Or birdpeople? Maybe the subs are inaccurate. In any case, we visit an entire village full of catgirls… where are the catguys? In fact, how do the catgirls even reproduce? Yaniko and her sister must have a dad, right? But I digress. What they do produce at this village, however, is tobacco. In fact, Yaniko gets to learn a thing or two on how to enable her addiction, which is kinda messed up when you think about it. You don’t invite a meth head to a meth lab.
Dara-san of Reiwa Ep. 5
I have no clue how to cover this show. It’s not super boring, which is why I haven’t dropped it. But I also don’t really know what it’s aiming to achieve either. Thus far, half of every episode has been a tragic flashback that retells Dara’s story as a human. Y’know, the one where her jealous sister had villagers butcher Dara. They probably raped her as well if this episode is anything to go by. Why else would one of the villagers sport a creepy smile while taking off his clothes? Anime, man… So should I talk about Dara’s developing relationship with the kids instead? I wish I could, but it’s not exactly wholesome. Kaoru acts like he wants to jump her bones (if that’s even possible with a snake lady), which prompts that groomer next door to come rushing over outta jealousy. So… is she gonna try and butcher Dara too?
I Became a Legend After My 10 Year-Long Last Stand Ep. 5
Lock goes through the same portal that the vampire had come through and takes out the sixth lord or whatever. Just another dude chillin’ in an uncomfortable-looking room, really. I thought vampires were about opulence. They can charm you, because they exude desire and seduction. But maybe that was just Dracula. On the other hand, these are your run-of-the-mill undead bloodsuckers.
There’s an oddly somber moment after Lock cuts down the sixth lord. Not only does he solemnly apologize to a distraught soul he failed to save, he looks out at a nearby village full of, well, vampire ashes. Everyone had been turned, so they all died when the sixth lord bit the dust. I didn’t really expect this sort of thing from this show, because it has been kinda… well, unserious. After all, we’re in the midst of an arc where our heroes need to protect an exalted chicken from vampire lords trying to open an interdimensional portal to eldritch beings. So yeah, you’ll have to excuse me for being so surprised by this unexpectedly heavy scene.
The situation quickly escalates, because they can’t wait around for the vampires to strike. As a result, the gang reunites to take down the high lord… who, as you can imagine, also sits in an uncomfortable room. Better lighting this time, though! Well, that’s our “cliffhanger,” but I can’t see our heroes suffering even a single casualty. Maybe Lock will get a scratch on him. Maybe.
The Drops of God Ep. 17
This episode is even dumber than the last one. Shizuku makes it to the top of the Matterhorn thanks to his expert guide. Meanwhile, Issei’s guide deliberately chose the more dangerous route, because he never planned to complete the climb. He expected Issei to back out once conditions got bad. Guess what? Issei pushes on anyway — he pushes despite the Matterhorn dredging up painful memories of… what exactly? His mom tried to commit a murder-suicide with Issei on a mountain? Uh, sure. The point is, their drastically different experiences spell the difference between winning and losing. Shizuku chooses the wrong wine to present, because his climb was too easy. Despite risking both his and his guide’s life to climb the mountain during a blizzard, Shizuku didn’t actually push himself far enough. He didn’t actually come close to dying like Issei. Oh, of course! Only Issei, who climbed the mountain on the wrong side so he bore the full brunt of the lashing winds, understood what true hardship is like! Pfft, whatever. Just rich boys trying to give meaning to their lives. The thing that gets me, however, is how Shizuku was insistent on climbing the mountain last episode, but now he’s super cool about losing. What a joke.
In the end, Issei feels as though he might have accidentally misled Shizuku. Y’see, he reached the summit first. To celebrate, he opened a canteen of wine — the wine he thought would be the Fifth Apostle. Somehow, in the raging blizzard, Shizuku smelled this wine, which he would later present for judging. Absolute insanity.
Everything else about everything else:
Well, I picked up the Switch 2 upgrades for both Xenoblade Chronicles and Xenoblade Chronicles 2. I love the series in general for its grand exploration, but the second game was pretty hamstrung by the woefully underpowered Switch hardware. Apparently, the Switch 2 upgrade is not without its flaws, but so far, the performance has been pretty rock solid for me. Mostly, however, I’m just eager to replay the third game in glorious 60 fps. Alas, I’ll have to wait until December for that.