Paint me like one of your French girls…?
Goodbye, Lara Ep. 7
So the dagger is Lara’s light? When the prince rejected her, she almost weaponized it into attacking him. If she hadn’t dissolved into nothing at that very moment — perhaps she even chose to become foam — Lara would’ve killed the prince. Well, this does explain why the giant fish dagger thing came crashing down on Kota a couple of episodes ago — y’know, when Lisa had sent him to do “something” about Lara’s human family.
Continuing directly from where we last left off, Lara seemingly reunites with the prince’s doppelganger, but Luca is anything but princely. He keeps falling down over and over; he certainly isn’t gallant. He invites her out on various dates, but then buys food for just himself. He even scarfs it down in front of the girl; he certainly isn’t chivalrous. He also paints these abstract little paintings that look nothing like their purported subjects. For example, this is supposed to be a portrait of Lara. But hey, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, form and function. Beauty, Luca believes, is not always visible to the eye. So like I said, this guy is a far cry from Lara’s prince. He seems like he isn’t neurotypical. More importantly, he likes Lara even though he already knows she’s a mermaid. But can we trust him?
Regardless, everything reminds Lara of that fateful night. Even Luca’s paint trowel reminds her of her dagger. She’s scared to get close to Luca, because she’s scared to hurt or be hurt. This is when I would love for the characters to take a step back and reassess. What is the goal? What are we trying to achieve? Doesn’t she want to revive her people? I ask the same question when we briefly cut to Lisa, who swears to bring Lara back “before it’s too late.” Too late for what? And even if you succeed in getting Lara back, then what? What exactly do you plan to do next?
I really, really wish this was just a slice-of-life anime about a young girl — a former mermaid, in fact — looking to make friends and find love. I still despise the grand, overarching narrative about bringing back the mermaids, about Lisa’s grudge, about whether or not Grace is lying, etc.
Iron Wok Jan Ep. 7
I thought we would get to see Kiriko cook, but I forget that girls aren’t allowed to play. So instead, we get to watch Akiyama face off against the only chef who could give him a run for his money. In skills? No, in being despised. The other guy looks down on traditional cooking methods. He prefers newfangled technology and (at the time) unorthodox cooking techniques. Sure, the arrogance sucks, but molecular gastronomy has never bothered me. Sous vide is just another way to heat up food; it’s no different from sauteeing or broiling. As a diner, all that matters is what you put in front of me and whether or not it tastes good. How it gets to the table — assuming you haven’t tortured anyone — doesn’t make a lick of difference to me. If anything, the show’s portrayal of the other chef is rather crass: they make him look like a gynecologist in the middle of an exam. If I had any appetite to lose, it’d be long gone.
Both chefs choose to cook with whole chicken. Both chefs intend to stuff their birds. Like in the previous round, Akiyama’s opponent beelines straight for the expensive ingredient: shark fin. Akiyama opts for glass noodles instead. This actually reminds me of a dish they used to serve at Benu, a three-Michelin-star restaurant in San Francisco. Back when Corey Lee still ran the kitchen on a nightly basis, he would serve up faux shark fin soup. If you can’t distinguish between the real thing and the fake, then why opt into cruelty? But I doubt Akiyama gives a shit about sharks. Like with everything he’s done so far, he just wants to be clever.
People like Akiyama are unbearable. When the interviewer walks up to him, he immediately kicks the guy. Don’t want to be kicked? Then don’t interrupt a man when he’s cooking! But then the other chef walks up and starts distracting Akiyama. Does Akiyama kick his opponent? Of course not. This means he can control himself. He just picks and chooses when to do so. That’s why when people lose their marbles and start yelling at you, you should never believe them when they say they couldn’t help it. It’s often bullshit.
The contrast is obvious. The other guy lets a machine do all of the work. As a result, he can afford to whip out a chair and start reading in the middle of the competition. Meanwhile, Akiyama is doing everything by hand; as a result, he’s racing against the clock to get the job done. He has to be incredibly precise in everything he’s doing. He has turned himself into a machine. In the end, Akiyama boasts that he was able to develop the umami flavors in his dish in a way that no machine can ever hope to match. See, I think he’s dead wrong. Any chef worth their weight in salt will tell you that technology isn’t the problem; it isn’t here to help you be lazy. I mean, it can (like AI), but you’re supposed to take advantage of that free time. You’re supposed to then add even more complexity to your dish. Whether you like fancy food or not, almost every dish is incredibly complex regardless of whether or not high-end technology has been used. And even if the dish itself isn’t complex, you can rest assured that a lot of thought has gone into finding the right ingredient, how best to prepare it, how to present it, so on and so forth. Akiyama’s opponent fails not because he relies on technology. Rather, he’s just a lazy asshole from start to finish, and technology is an easy scapegoat.
The chickens have been stuffed, and… well, the opponent’s bird looks rather pale. More importantly, it lacks harmony. He simply stuck a bunch of fancy ingredients together with no rhyme or reason. Akiyama thus earns yet another victory. We don’t even get to see the judges try Akiyama’s dish. Great, so the author read a thing or two about how to sous vide, then crafted this whole tradition versus modernity contest that ultimately extols the old ways. It’s such a false dichotomy, though. The greatest molecular gastronomy chefs in the world have probably forgotten more about “traditional” cooking than we could ever hope to learn in our lifetimes. The new is not the enemy of the old. That sort of thinking is what truly makes you an outdated dinosaur.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure I took a picture of the faux shark fin soup, but it’s probably sitting on some old phone gathering dust in a drawer somewhere.
The Insipid Prince’s Furtive Grab for the Throne Ep. 7
The emperor suspects that Arnold is actually quite capable. In fact, the emperor used to play the fool as well before he took the throne. He’s also quite happy to see his kids battle for the throne. He reasons that this will produce a great ruler in the long run. Or it could destabilize and fracture the empire, potentially leading to a civil war or two, and ultimately leave them open to invaders. I love how he just assumes one of his kids will definitively come out on top and the empire will come out of this smelling like roses. They’re trying to kill each other now. Why would they stop even after someone officially becomes emperor or empress? In fact, Arnold believes three of his half-siblings — Erik, Gordon, and Zendra — would hurt his mother and sister after they take the throne, and he’s probably right. These are the kids the emperor has spawned. Does he really think everything’s going to be hunky-dory once the initial struggle is over? Who’s insipid now?
Anyway, Arnold needs more allies, so he foils one of Zendra’s long-running schemes. As a result, she’s after him and his people. He’ll soon have to leave the country, however — remember, he got named lieutenant ambassador extraordinaire — so he needs someone to protect Finne. He was going to have Elna do him a favor, but she is now assigned to protect Leo. Out of nowhere, an adventurer falls into his lap. In exchange for protecting Finne, Lynphia wants Arnold to investigate a situation where women and children are disappearing from her village. Alright, sure. The thing is, we already met Lynphia. She was one of the adventurers who had trouble dealing with the slime infestation plaguing the Kleinerts. If Zendra or any of the other half-siblings really wanted Finne assassinated, do we honestly believe Lynphia can keep her protected? Ehhh.
Also, I didn’t realize Krista shares the same mother with the two brothers. I think their close relationship was sweeter when I initially assumed they were half-siblings. Alas…
LIAR GAME Ep. 20
So Yokoya wins and he doesn’t. It turns out he had one last trick up his sleeve: he transferred all of his team’s money into his own account, so in theory, he gets to walk away from this whole affair with a tidy profit. His last move is to lord his victory over Akiyama. Nao explains, however, that he was completely clueless about the traitors on his team. He had no control over the situation other than the money. She and Akiyama might now be in debt, but why does he care? He’s no longer in the game. I mean, okay, I get what Nao is getting at. For a fascist loser like Yokoya, she just took a sledgehammer to his ego. As a result, she believes Yokoya will foolishly return for the next round, because he can’t stand losing, especially to them. They will thus get another opportunity to take his money. But if I were him, I’d be wiping my tears with all that cash. I would walk away without blinking an eye. Who gives a shit about my ego if I just got millions of dollars? Then again, I’m not some psychopathic dictator.
Afterwards, Akiyama opens up a little to Nao. He confesses that he had an inkling what Yokoya might do, but he couldn’t stop the rat. He also admits to manipulating the traitors. In the end, he feels like he’s no different from Yokoya, which Nao tearfully refutes. Well, she’s right. Sure, Akiyama isn’t squeaky clean like she is, but he’s a far cry from the Hitler-wannabe.
In his frustration, Yokoya tosses his rats aside before leaving. I’m told by a friend that in the manga, he actually squeezes them to death. So hey, at least Madhouse didn’t make us see that. He then signs up for the next round like Nao predicted. Our girlie has come a long way since episode one. Man, she was so pathetic at the start of the series. Still, some things never change. When the phony lawyer tells her of a couple things about the Losers’ Revival round, she freaks out again and has to lean on Akiyama for support. Last but not least, Fukunaga isn’t quitting the game either. Pride is apparently the theme of the week.
LIAR GAME immediately segues into the Losers’ Revival round, which is apparently a spin on Russian Roulette. Not with real guns and bullets, I hope. Either way, we have no time for a breather, especially since we only have about half a season left. In fact, I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of the fourth round if any. The show will likely end on a cliffhanger that teases round two between Nao/Akiyama and Yokoya. Still, I’m amused to see another woman in the Losers’ Revival round. She must have participated in a different round three from the rest of them. Like I said before, I don’t think they wanted Yokoya abusing female characters.
Young Ladies Don’t Play Fighting Games Ep. 7
So much drama in this week’s episode. I thought we were just gamin’, but I thought wrong. When Arisa sees the bond between Aya and Mio, it reminds her of her own failed relationship with Miyu. Wait, failed relationship? Isn’t Arisa an elementary school student? These precocious kids, man. But seriously, I don’t like this sort of thing. If these characters were in college, fine. But a little girl like Arisa having a tragic love story is ridiculous.
We also finally meet the person whom Tamaki is trying to get closer to: it’s her sister Hana, who is also a fighting game enthusiast. Hana then proceeds to put the fear into Tamaki, and for what? For liking fighting games as well? What is wrong with these characters? Why do they have no chill? We’re talking about video games, people, video games. This is supposed to be for fun. Meanwhile, you have an unchaperoned grade schooler picking fights with older girls because… they have a know-it-all attitude? And a big sister who gives her little sister the third degree for having the temerity to play fighting games? Ugh.
Yuu eventually comes to Tamaki’s defense, and that’s sweet but… why does nobody ever ask the right questions? “Why are you treating your sister like this?” How hard would that be? But instead, we’re left in the dark, wondering why Hana is so weird with Tamaki. Bah, I hate this sort of storytelling.
Victoria of Many Faces Ep. 7
Well, we knew this day would come. We knew Victoria wouldn’t stick around for long. But the people around her certainly didn’t help. First, those parents tried to steal Nonna away. You obviously can’t replace your dead child with a lookalike. Not only is that an insane thought to have, it’s also very shallow. But to make matters worse, it turns out that the kingdom sent Miles to monitor Victoria. If you make someone feel cornered, of course they’re going to run. Just be happy Victoria didn’t lash out. Two things bother me, though.
First, they don’t really make it clear if Victoria leaves with Nonna. None of the other characters mention Nonna, so I have to assume the child is also gone. Plus, Nonna escapes from the nobles of her own free will. She literally breaks out of her room via a window just to make her way back to Victoria. The kid has made her choice, and she’s done so definitively. If Victoria still leaves her behind, then the woman is unconscionable. But then why hide it? Why leave the audience wondering whether or not Nonna is with her? What complicates the situation is Nonna coming down with a fever. This might have convinced Victoria that she can’t care for Nonna on her own. I would still dispute that, but I can’t read her thoughts.
Second, you can’t help but feel bad for Jeff. He sure as hell doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. After all, Victoria was emotionally devastated at the start of this episode. She had convinced herself that Nonna left her, and she was wandering around listlessly. Jeff then cheers her up. Jeff gives her hope, telling her to believe in Nonna. And sure enough, Nonna proves him right. And what does he get? Just Victoria disappearing from his life with nothing but a short letter to remember her by.
But hey, it’s not like he can protect her, right? He can’t go on the run with her either. So maybe we just gotta accept it. Like they often say, if you love someone, sometimes you just gotta let them go.
Red River Ep. 7
I don’t wanna get too bogged down by the battle for Kizzuwatna. All you need to know is that a new antagonist has been introduced: some Mittani prince who goes by the moniker “Prince of Darkness.” Edgy. Knowing this anime, however, he’ll probably just represent the dark and dangerous love interest. Oh, he’ll never win Yuri’s heart, but he still represents a different possibility in case the audience isn’t charmed by Kail’s playboy tendencies. Series like Red River can’t resist having a trashy love triangle.
With Kizzuwatna secured, the princes and Yuri return to the capital. It was kinda embarrassing to have Zannanza kidnap his own brother’s consort, so the king was about to punish them. This is when Nakia tries to step in and completely strip both princes of their royal authority. For some reason, the ministers agree with her. Wait, what did Kail do wrong…? I don’t like the guy, but it’s not his fault his own brother tried to cuck him! Plus, is the queen even allowed to do this? She and the ministers can just “out-vote” the king? I dunno about that…
Well, Yuri comes up with this nonsense story about how the brothers had staged this entire thing to fool the Mitannis. It doesn’t even make sense, but the ministers — the same assholes who were siding with the queen — are suddenly convinced. All’s well that ends well, right? Unfortunately, there’s trouble brewing in “paradise,” because Kail is now treating Yuri. Yuri thinks it’s because he thinks something happened between her and Zannanza. But in reality, he doesn’t want to get close to her because he still believes she will leave him and return home one day. Oh, the drama… if only a dark, handsome, dangerous prince would now swoop in and muck things up even further!
The Villager of Level 999 Ep. 8
While Kagami and Menow are looking for the Dark Dragon, Alice is having Kurull teach her healing magic so she can help people around town. Isn’t she a peach? Unfortunately, Parna shows up to ruin the day. She actually leads a bunch of soldiers to arrest the Hero’s party. As for Alice, they’ll use her to flush out other demons then kill them all. Yeah, yeah, I totally understand that Parna lost her lover to demons. I don’t care. She’s too far gone. If the thought of killing children ever crosses your mind, then you’re scum. All the apology videos in the world wouldn’t change my mind. I hope she doesn’t get a redemption arc. In fact, if she isn’t rotting in a jail cell by the end of the series, then I will be sorely disappointed.
Clevatess S2 Ep. 6
This season of Clevatess is exactly why I should’ve done something like “Everything else” a long time ago. You’ll always get a show like this or The Promised Neverland where it starts out really strong, but the plot eventually runs out of things that I personally care about. In the past, when I didn’t do a series of posts like “Everything else,” I would either struggle to come up with something to say (and fail), or just drop a show entirely. There’s no reason why I can’t continue to loosely follow Clevatess, but at the moment, I ain’t got shit to yap about. Well, I guess I kinda hate seeing Alicia struggle in her rat form, because it’s a little too close to animal abuse. It’s unpleasant to watch. But other than that… meh. Stuff happens. None of it has any emotional weight. Nothing really gets explained on a satisfying level. We already know Vordin wants to gather the Books of Toah in order to revive the legend of the true hero. What that means for the world at large is still up in the air.
My Stepmother and Stepsisters Aren’t Wicked Ep. 6
Miya makes a new friend. The new friend befriends the old friend. Everyone studies together. The end.
Mebius Dust Ep. 6
I can’t believe this show has the gall to indulge in this week’s bullshit. This episode is all about how Marimo the dog has been selected to serve as the Toppuku for the upcoming Water God Festival. I don’t know what a Toppuku is, but it looks like he has to play a mascot of some sort…? Well, the dog rejects the blessing at first, because he is utterly afraid of water. Yep, that’s it. Marimo dodges his team and his responsibilities for an entire episode just because he’s afraid of water. In the end, he agrees to do it anyway. What the hell, man? This show has given us nothing thus far, and we still somehow ended up with a filler episode. Unbelievable.
By the way, is Marimo a dog that got human intelligence thanks to the dust? Or is he a boy who got turned into a dog?
Chainsmoker Cat Ep. 7
Since there isn’t really a story, I’ll just hit the highlights:
- Yaniko somehow manages to summon the Nicotine Demon, but even it pulls the “Damn, bitch, you live like this?” card on her.
- Her new temp job requires her and other beastwomen to wear a blindfold and hop onto a bus. I almost thought she was being trafficked. Luckily, she just has to don a hazmat suit and clean an old factory. Phew, so much better.
- She returns home for once, so we get to meet her mother. Unfortunately, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. I wonder if Yaniko had to move out because they would just enable each other. Without Yaniko around, Imoko can at least keep their mother’s addiction under control. Tough luck, sis.
- The landlord seemed like such a decent guy in last week’s episode, then he goes and gets himself locked out of his apartment with nothing covering him but his dick stuck in a blow-up doll. Yeah…
- There’s another bit where he gets hard when a gust of wind reveals the hobo cat’s naked body. Why would a homeless person have such glossy skin?
- Last but not least, the mangaka got a little too zealous in grooming Yaniko. Well, some people prefer it shaved.
Dara-san of Reiwa Ep. 7
This week’s episode actually blended both the past and the present pretty well, I thought. In the past, Dara was still on a rampage. But once she killed everyone who had wronged her, she appeared to Jurota one last time (it’s interesting how her actual memories are far less flattering than the narrator’s retelling of the same event). She basically gave him all the information he and the remaining villagers would need in order to deal with Yamatagi Madara. Back in the present, Dara learns that the Tomita clan has been tending to a certain grave all this time — her grave. This part was… was it sweet? No, I don’t think that quite captures the sentiment. It’s like a feeling of contentment. Sure, Yamatagi Madara is still out there, but it’s kinda harmless in its current form. There’s a sense that it’s time to move on and leave things in the past where they belong.
Of course, the episode still has a bunch of dumb jokes involving the siblings, especially Kaoru’s precocious MILF fetish. But whatever, I just kinda ignore that stuff now.
I Became a Legend After My 10 Year-Long Last Stand Ep. 7
Lock discovers Milca trying to shelter in his basement. Unfortunately, she got caught in a trap. Why is there a trap down there? Hell, there’s a secret passage that goes all the way to the castle, because Eric’s grandfather was a cheat. But nevermind that, ’cause guess what? Milca’s an orphan who has lost both her parents and her grandfather. The old man had a lot of debt as well, so a bunch of goons are now trying to sell her off on the black market. Yep, this is pretty much boilerplate nonsense for anime. There’s always a slave girl or someone who is about to become a slave girl — always some poor, little girl to adopt. Rinse and repeat over countless shows.
Lock looks into the matter and discovers that there’s an entire practice of trafficking children. Sure, you can arrest and punish the mastermind, but you also gotta go after the buyers. Looks like Eric has been slackin’. You might argue, “But this happens in real life! Rich and powerful men get away with heinous crimes all the time!” Yes, yes they do. Our institutions and the people running them are rotten to the core. But Eric is supposed to be the king. What’s the point of having one if they can’t take the necessary unilateral actions required to rescue children? Proof? Is the great, benevolent king going to let proof stand in the way of him saving children?
The Drops of God Ep. 19
Last week, Shizuku met an Italian restaurateur who started a new life in Japan in hopes of finding his long lost girlfriend — a Japanese woman who ran off because he wasn’t 100% happy when she became pregnant. Like I said last time, this usually happens after months or even years of relationship dysfunction. People usually don’t bail on their partners on a whim. But fine, let’s pretend there wasn’t a deeper issue at hand. Well, the restaurateur only had his girlfriend’s beloved poem and a beloved Barolo to help him find her. Luckily, Shizuku’s overactive imagination is up to the task! He quickly suggests drinking the Barolo on a hill overlooking the town. They have to do it at dawn, too. And when they do so, the Italian restaurateur runs into a young boy who looks exactly like him! Shock, it must be his son! So we’ve found his long lost girlfriend, right? Unfortunately, she’s already dead. Died shortly after giving birth, too. Classic Asian drama.
What’s even dumber are the flashbacks. We learn that his girlfriend had been waiting for him to find her while she was carrying his child. “I know he’ll figure it out,” she said! Who the fuck plays games like this? Especially when you’re about to become a parent! She wanted a miracle to bring them back together, but she already had one! Not to sound corny, but she’s literally about to bear his child. What further miracle do you need? Just fucking call the guy and patch things up! Why are you people so psychotic? Wait, is that why she ran away? Because she had BPD?
Would the girlfriend have survived if the restaurateur was around? Meh, probably not, but you can’t rule it out. Maybe she was stressed, which led to complications during pregnancy. As a result, this could lead to a greater risk of hemorrhage. Look, we don’t need to get bogged down by the medical minutia. All we need to know is that foolish people certainly didn’t make life easier for themselves by taking foolish actions. But all’s well that ends well, because a kid who has never met his father before instantly bonds with the restaurateur.
As for Issei, his mom tried to nudge him in the right direction, but he still ended up choosing the wrong wine. I guess he didn’t quite heed her words. After glimpsing a sunset together, Issei’s mom told him to turn around and see the pale moon illuminating his path. If he had done so, maybe he would’ve felt the “warmth and closeness” required for the Sixth Apostle — maybe this is a metaphor for their relationship. But instead, he hurried home even though he didn’t need to. If he had time for his original plans — having dinner with his mom — then there clearly wasn’t an urgent need for him to pick out his candidate for the Sixth Apostle. Ultimately, Issei chooses one of the greatest, rarest Barolo, but it doesn’t fit Yutaka’s description.