Luckily, the summer season is almost over, so it can take Kaiju Girl Caramelise along with it. As I’m watching Harugon do battle with… I dunno, what would you even call the other kaiju? All I know is that it’s red and it flies. Fine, let’s call it Red. As I’m watching Harugon do battle with Red, I realize that I just don’t care. But it also calls to mind the changes made to Gojira when it localized for American audiences. The original movie actually starts off with Godzilla attacking a fishing boat, because the movie is directly referencing an incident involving nuclear testing around the Marshall Islands. You probably already know that atomic bombs leave behind a massive amount of dangerous radiation. Basically, a Japanese fishing boat was caught in the danger area. Gojira wasn’t just about a monster attack. It was also about living in a post-nuclear world. One of the random bystanders had this to add near the end of the film: “I barely escaped the atomic bomb in Nagasaki, and now this!” The bomb doesn’t go away when it explodes; it lingers and leaves its terrible radioactive mark on us for decades to come. Naturally, the American version cut all of that out. It became just another movie about a monster attack.

And that’s the emptiness that I now feel when I watch this show. Early on, Kuroe’s “kaiju-ness” wasn’t just a cool fact about her. It was a metaphor for her body dysmorphia. Here, you have a perfectly cute and normal girl who nevertheless hates herself because she’s different from her peers. This was a story about Kuroe grappling with her self-image and how society puts undue pressure on people from a young age — especially young girls — to look pretty or else be ostracized. And I was down for that. That was my jam. But lately, all we’ve had is stupid, relationship drama that could’ve been resolved if these characters would just take one damn second to listen and talk to one another. Case in point, Manatsu and Raiju don’t chase after Kuroe when the heartbroken girl jumps to conclusions and runs off in tears. They linger around for a precious moment, and in doing so, they quickly realize that Arata and the other woman are simply actors rehearsing a scene. If Kuroe had done the same, she would’ve realized this too. But no, better to have stupid relationship drama instead.

And now, I’m watching two kaijus fight. What is even the point of this? Ultimately, Kuroe’s concern for Arata’s safety leads her back to him. Likewise, he doesn’t evacuate with everyone else, because he needs to find his (ex-)girlfriend. Their mutual concern for one another is ultimately what mends the relationship. This arguably wouldn’t have happened if Red didn’t come along and, well, kill a whole bunch of people. But we never would’ve needed this conflict resolution in the first place if these two characters weren’t idiots! For example, when the actress asks Arata why he even agreed to go into show business, he replies, “I thought being on TV all the time would make people tired of me….” How stupid can you be?

Near the end of the episode, it looks like Red gets off an attack that might seriously injure Kuroe. But of course, unless you’re extremely gullible, no one really expects our heroine to die. I expect the final episode to feature a tearful moment between her and Arata. They’ll clear up their misunderstandings and reaffirm their love for each other. Last but not least, the show will probably drop some ridiculous sequel bait, because we haven’t really resolved the situation with her mother. Nevertheless, I’m thoroughly disappointed by the direction that the show has taken. Stripped of all subtext, it’s just a dumb love story between an insecure girl and her himbo.

Stray thoughts & observations:

— The famous actress actually warns Arata about the producer, and advises him to quit now before he gets in too deep. So that’s nice… at least she isn’t a completely nasty character. We did first meet her when she was bullying her assistant, though.

— So does Daichi exist for any other reason than to create drama between the main couple?

— Red straight up smacks a military helicopter into a building, immediately resulting in a massive explosion. Yeah, the people on that aircraft are dead, huh? Maybe I was wrong about that cruise ship from the previous episode then. Maybe Red killed all those people too. Well, I guess this makes sense in a way. The story has shifted away from Kuroe’s interiority to this bombastic, action-packed conflict between kaijus, so why wouldn’t there suddenly be a death toll?

— Rinko said she wouldn’t mind humanity being destroyed if this meant that the kaijus could flourish, but that was all hypothetical. Now that people are actually dying, will Rinko still be singing the same tune? And what would it even mean for the story if she turned out to be crazy all along? Specifically, what are we trying to say? We’re facing an unprecedented crisis due to climate change, but oooh, it’s the eco extremists that you have to truly worry about!

— The scene where Harugon starts looking for Arata makes me think of Vader waking up and going, “Where is Padmé? Is she safe? Is she all right?” I can’t take this show seriously anymore.