The jokes write themselves.
I’m Dating a Dark Summoner Ep. 1
A priest objects to a dark summoner joining his party, but ends up banging her that same night. I guess they’re kinda like polar opposites… except this is fantasy… and there’s a whole lot of fuckin’. Too much fuckin’, I think. That might be wild to say, but I was only expecting the show to be ecchi. These two, however, get down and dirty. There’s like boob-sucking, doggystyle, and everything. Ultimately, it would’ve been fun to explore the polar opposites dynamic from a raunchier point of view, but these two are just horny. You never see anything more explicit than a nipple, but meh… if I wanted porn, I’d just watch porn. I’m looking for more relationship stuff than sex.
Hello, I am a Witch, and My Crush Wants Me to Make a Love Potion! Ep. 1
See my less than positive thoughts here.
Please Excuse My Younger Brothers Ep. 13
This show is nonstop fodder for “What are you doing, stepbro” jokes. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, Itou even stays up all night trying to make something special just for Gen. Unfortunately, Rui sleepwalks in the middle of the night and literally eats all of her chocolates — even the pity ones meant for her classmates. How do you even do that? How does the kid not have a raging stomachache? But all this does is give us yet another “What are you doing, stepbro” moment when Gen hand-feeds Itou cookies that he made in home ec or whatever. So, uh, what are they going to do for White Day since he already gave her something?
This show is all about forbidden relationships, apparently. As a result, when it’s Raku’s turn in the spotlight, he bumps into Azusa, a woman with a loser boyfriend. When said loser boyfriend ditches her, Azusa brilliantly decides to drag Raku to a fancy dinner she had already reserved. C’mon, I’m sure the average straight Japanese woman has at least one girl friend she could’ve invited instead. If not a girl friend, then a cousin, an aunt, a sister, her own damn parents — anyone! But no, she invites a high school kid whom she just met. Right. And if an older woman somehow isn’t spicy enough for you, Azusa ends up being Raku’s substitute teacher! C’mon, this can’t work, right? Azusa is literally an adult, and Raku is just a kid. Sadly, even if anime likes to normalize age gaps, I think dating a minor is much worse than dating your stepbro.
Also, how could Azusa afford such a fancy dinner when it took her such a long time to land this teaching gig?
Blue Box Ep. 26
Are Taiki and Chinatsu officially dating yet in the anime? Nope, not yet. He hasn’t confessed. I binged the show recently, but my memory is a little fuzzy. I just know he rejected the third wheel near the end of the first season. Why is my recollection of the show so bad? Because I find Taiki’s personality incredibly grating. Granted, the dub could’ve amplified that. I’m willing to see if hearing him in Japanese makes him a little more tolerable. I doubt it, but you never know.
Well, the new season opens with the two kids shopping for sports apparel together. I dunno if I would consider that a date date, but maybe this is romantic for a pair of athletes. The mood is slightly ruined, however, when a friend sees Taiki alone and assumes that he’s hanging out with the aforementioned third wheel. Just like that, Chinatsu shies away from modeling the shirt she wants to buy. Man, kids are so sensitive.
When the kids visit a cafe, it’s time for a male third wheel to ruin Taiki’s mood. I just got done watching one of my favorite romance series, so I can’t help but wonder what Suzuki would’ve said if she had been asked why she’s here with a so-called fan. I’m sure she would’ve boldly declared that she was on a date. Instead, I get to watch Taiki grit his teeth while Chinatsu plays dumb. The other guy, Matsuoka, outright tells Taiki to go home when Chinatsu is away from the table. I find it hard to believe she couldn’t overhear them, but ugh, let’s be charitable. Even so, the other guy is rudely trying to dominate the conversation and he isn’t even subtle about it, but nobody tells him off. I’ll never understand Japanese politeness.
Ultimately, Matsuoka implies that Taiki sucks too much at badminton to even be dating, but so what? Mind your business? I mean, c’mon, stand up for yourself! But I guess Taiki technically wins in the end, because Chinatsu chooses him. She initially would’ve gone with Matsuoka to attend a basketball practice. Like seriously, just on the spot? Just drop everything and start hoopin’? This is so stupid. Chinatsu should’ve rejected Matsuoka on the spot, and Taiki should stop being such a tryhard selfless loser. There’s a time and place for practice, and it isn’t in the middle of your off day. Taiki tries to cope by telling himself that butting heads with Matsuoka won’t do Chinatsu any good. But hey, if you can’t stand up for yourself, how can I expect you to stand up for anyone else? Y’know, like your future kids? C’mon, where’s Taiki’s dignity? Why do we keep having to watch assholes walk all over these pathetic anime protagonists? This is why I can’t stand this kid. Luckily for him, Chinatsu eventually changes her mind and returns to Taiki. Ugh, I guess that’s a win? She still gives him a flimsy excuse, though. Why can’t anyone just be honest with each other? Why can’t anyone just tell people how they truly feel?
But the drama never ends. Taiki drags Chinatsu out to a romantic vista, because he intends to confess his feelings. But before he can utter the words, Yumeka, one of Chinatsu’s former friends, rudely interrupts them. Nobody in this damn universe can mind their own business. But our protagonists can’t tell anyone off either lest they be seen as rude. What a strange dichotomy. Knowing the type of person Taiki is, however, he’ll probably meet up with Yumeka secretly and beg her to be Chinatsu’s friend again or whatever. That’s just how these dorks operate.
Ranma 1/2 (2026) S3 Ep. 1
Shampoo’s great-grandmother wants her to marry Ranma, so the old woman has to get Akane out of the picture. She intends to do so by training up Ryoga? I have no reason to root for that guy. First, I dislike love triangles in principle. It’s just cheap drama for disloyal people. Second, Ryoga is still hiding the fact that he’s the pig P-chan from Akane. That’s messed up for reasons I don’t have to explain. Unfortunately, I don’t really like Ranma either. He’s typically an insensitive clod (to be fair, he initially didn’t say anything bad about her terrible cooking in this episode). There’s also the fact that Akane is an annoying tsundere, a character trait that should’ve stayed buried in the yesteryears of anime. She tags along on the training trip because she wants to make curry for the guy, but she’ll never admit it. Basically, this show is just a bunch of really obnoxious people butting heads all the time, and there’s no payoff, because they’re just going to be tsundere with each other to the very end. Case in point, Akane rushes off at the end of the episode to help Ryoga simply because he didn’t blow smoke up her ass. So do you like Ranma or not? I can’t stand these wishy-washy characters. They ain’t loyal, man. I struggle to see how this sort of character interaction can be considered enjoyable. But hey, who knows? Maybe we’ll get a new ending with this remake.