What if we had a show where a goblin bangs human women? What’s that? We already have that show? No, no, no, the sex is consensual. And just like that, we have a new isekai: So What’s Wrong with Getting Reborn as a Goblin? Basically, an IT guy jumped in front of Truck-kun in order to save a child. The next time he opens his eyes, he’s been reborn as a goblin. Why is it always an IT guy? I mean, it’s a pretty miserable fucking profession. It’s also on the verge of being replaced by AI (if not already outsourced to far cheaper labor overseas). If you’re dumb enough to still stick with IT (cough), you might as well get isekai’d. Sadly, you don’t always get to choose what you end up as in your new life. Sometimes, you’re a hero. Sometimes, you’re a goblin. Who can really say!
At the end of the day, isekai anime series are typically power fantasies that the audience can self-insert into. This is why even if you end up as a vending machine, hot girls will fall in love with you. The same can be said here. Maybe Akira won’t be fucking his female friends, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be fuckin’. Dude even pats himself on the back for his goblin-enhanced stamina. It’s weird, man. Sure, I get it: he used to be a human, so he’s not attracted to other goblins. Goblins in this universe also have this weird trait where they literally only live for seven days. Yeah, that’s right: days. That’s insane. Akira compares them to rabbits, because rabbits also proliferate on a rapid scale. But rabbits live longer than you think, especially if they’re indoors. Seven days is nothing. A damn housefly has a longer life span than that. If you can only “live” for seven days, then your life is basically fucking and dying. What else is there to your existence?
Now, you might be asking how we can have a series about a goblin if they only live for seven days. Well, Akira’s special, so he has the octogenarian skill, i.e., he gets to live for 80 years. There’s another quirk about goblin society: when they die, they pass their skill onto their person of choice. Before Akira arrived, goblins would just pass their skills onto whomever. And when you only live for seven days, skills get passed on pretty damn often! But if there’s a goblin who can live for 80 years, which is more than 4000x the lifespan of a regular goblin, then our special little buddy can rack up a ton of skills. Welp, that’s one way to make Akira overpowered. Kinda clever even though I don’t want to admit it (because we’re hate-watching these shows).
But wait, there’s more! Akira stumbles upon a dying Archfiend (they refer to him as “Maou” in Japanese so more like a demon lord). Upon seeing such a unique little goblin, the Archfiend decides to pass on his special skill “Survival of the Fittest.” What does it do? Anyone who loses to you will now have to obey you. Hoo boy, I got really nervous when a female knight led a contingent of soldiers upon the goblin village! Luckily, Karen (yeah, that’s her name, haha) never fights him, so Akira never has to bend Karen to his will; he only subdues her men. But still, it’s a little sketchy. And it gets even sketchier when he befriends the Margrave, who immediately takes Akira to a brothel. That’s when Akira finally gets to unleash all his pent-up horniness on women who have to fuck a goblin for money. Sheesh.
The second episode mostly involves Akira organizing his village. Like I said before, goblins used to pass their skills on willy-nilly. Well, not anymore. Fighters would gravitate to fighters, merchants to merchants, weavers to weavers, and so on and so forth. This way, they create both a lineage and a sense of continuity despite their ridiculously short lifespans. The margrave might have been all smiles with Akira, but he has a good reason to be wary. Even if the goblins die fast, they procreate even faster. And now that they’re organized? Welp, that just means they have the potential to overwhelm their foes.
Akira assures Karen that as long as he’s around, the village would never dare attack a human settlement. But he’s only going to live for 80 years. That’s a decent life for a human, but a blip in terms of history. Naturally, Akira will pass his octogenarian skill onto a successor he deems worthy, but you never know. One of the future generations of Akiras could end up being a warmonger. Hey, maybe there’s a lineage of goblins who are just massive goblin supremacists! And then they start spreading their skills around! Yeah, that’s the group of Steves. You don’t wanna hang out with the Steves. They’re weird. They keep doing this strange salute where they raise and extend their right arm forward at an upward angle with a straightened hand, fingers together, and palm facing downward.
Near the end of the second episode, one of the Archfiend’s minions comes looking for him. When she learns that the Archfiend is dead, she is devastated. She’ll probably join the village. In fact, I know she will, because the ED pretty much spoils it for us. Karen will be sticking around, and other hot ladies will eventually join up too. Eh, I dunno how I feel about that. Like I’ve said before, I think it’s weird that a vending machine ended up having a harem. I wouldn’t be surprised if our little goblin overlord gets his own harem too. We already know he fucks. Ah well, this is obviously going into the Isekai Hate Watch column after this week.
