Excuse me. I feel the urge to barf all of a sudden. No, no, I understand that things were different back then. Hell, you could get married off at an even younger age. Doesn’t make it any less gross to me, though.
Blue Box Ep. 28
Chinatsu and Yumeka finally get to have their heart-to-heart, but to be honest, I’ve already kinda written the latter off. Physically violent people don’t get a second chance in my book. Not unless they really make up for it via a written apology and maybe hours of community service. If Yumeka simply says sorry to Taiki after this — and I don’t even like Taiki — then that’s just pathetic. I bet you he won’t even get an apology.
Anyway, Yumeka’s reason for resenting Chinatsu was and still is stupidly simple: Chinatsu’s work ethic made Yumeka feel inadequate. Then when she saw Chinatsu hanging out with a boy — apparently, Chinatsu is only allowed to live and breathe basketball 24/7 — it made her mad. Yeah, you wanna slap about it? Pfft, probably. Chinatsu simply counters that Taiki isn’t just any boy to her. She saw him work hard in practice one morning, so he inspired her to keep going even after losing Yumeka. This is where the episode cuts off, but you can easily imagine Yumeka “seeing the light” and picking basketball back up again. All those years of resentment? Pfft, who cares? We’re going to get our happy Sunday morning cartoon conclusion just like that.
As for Taiki, Matsuoka swipes a free ticket to a courtside seat for the girls’ first Winter Cup game. They then decide to compete for it by seeing who can last the longest doing a shuttle run. Everyone assumes Matsuoka would win because he plays basketball. I’m not really familiar with badminton, so I can’t really say. Tennis, badminton’s cousin, does require a ton of running, though — sometimes at full sprint. Matsuoka even wanted to put their relationship with Chinatsu on the line, i.e. whoever loses backs off from her completely. Taiki didn’t take that bait, but he shouldn’t have taken any bait to begin with. Yeah, a courtside seat is pretty dope, but you could live without it. Taiki’s main reason for wanting the ticket is because he doesn’t want Chinatsu to get closer to Matsuoka, but this stupid dick-measuring contest wouldn’t change anything. Whether or not Matsuoka goes to her basketball game, she can still be with him if she desires it. If you lose her simply because your “rival” got to sit courtside, you never really had her.
I’m Dating a Dark Summoner Ep. 3
A phantom thief is threatening to steal Roni’s semen. No, you read that right. Luckily for him, Amona gets the job done before the thief can strike. So, uh, what would you steal semen anyway? It turns out she’s just trying to do virgins a service, and she thought Roni needed welp. Man, anime women are so kind.
Is this a good show? Not really, but I like to think it balances out all the passive losers like Sasaki in that smoking show.
The Cold Sato-san is Only Sweet to Me Ep. 2
Once again, Sato tries to take photos for her “Minstagram” but they keep ending up blurry. Seeing another girl balance her bubble tea on her chest, Sato tries to do the same. But when the condensation on the cup makes her white shirt see-thru, Sato nearly falls on her ass. She’s only clumsy for the story, though. We need her to fall so that Oshio can catch her (groan).
Moments later, Sato’s literally in tears because she keeps messing up. Messing up what? We’re just talking about pictures for social media. Is that really worth crying over? Holy moly, is this girl okay? Is she emotionally stable? Who breaks down over a few blurry photos?
Still, Sato has enough courage to keep inviting Oshio out. Unfortunately, he has to work Saturdays at his father’s cafe. Or at least, he thinks he does. His father proceeds to tell an elaborate story about how he met the kid’s mother, something about how muscles can only grow through pain, blah blah blah. It simply amounts to “Hey, we got you covered, so go live your life.”
What I find even odder, however, is how Oshio doesn’t explain to Sato why he’s busy. Any reasonable person would understand their crush wanting to help out the family business. But no, he doesn’t say anything like a weirdo, so she starts thinking that she came on too strong and pushed him away. It’s like Oshio is trying to sabotage himself. The thing is, we know why this is happening. The author is trying to engineer a situation where the girl thinks she’s been rejected, but then the guy shows up at the last second and makes her day. Therein lies the emotional payoff… buuuuut this only works if Oshio acts like a fucking weirdo by simply not telling her that he has to work. Also, you would still have the emotional payoff without Oshio being weird! Him showing up and making her day doesn’t depend on him keeping her in the dark about his situation! At least she wouldn’t have to feel utterly rejected for most of the day until he showed up!
Please Excuse My Younger Brothers Ep. 15
I think my crush on someone would immediately shrivel up and die if they ever told me that they didn’t like to think. But let’s get on topic. Unfortunately for Ito, Gen sister-zones her, ’cause (big shocker) she’s his sister. I know, I know, seeing your sister as a family member is such a radical idea. In fact, he compares her to a kokeshi doll. Ito’s sordid quest for incest is not technically over yet, though. After all, Gen doesn’t not like her. He’s just a big fucking idiot, and his “winning” move is to simply not play. He doesn’t want to think about the problem, so he won’t. What’ll likely happen is she’ll get close to someone else, so the threat of actually losing her becomes real. Said threat will thus force Gen to confront his feelings. As much as I dislike the possibility, I just can’t see them not ending up together by the end of the story.
Just… don’t involve the other brothers. Like c’mon, it’s so trashy to bounce from one sibling to the next. Sadly, Ito slips and falls right into Syu’s arms. The kid has apparently hit a massive growth spurt, so he’s now tall and handsome. Ito starts doting on him, because he’s going to high school for the first time. You would like to think she’s simply being a protective older sister, but you never know with anime… you never know. Syu isn’t completely hopeless in his new environment; he manages to find his people, a.k.a. the esports club. Nevertheless, he and Ito have a moment at the end of the episode where he expresses his wish to become stronger so that he can protect her. Gen is around the corner, listening in on this private conversation. Sigh, please oh please, if you gotta have a love triangle, which is already bullshit to begin with, do not keep it in the family. For fuck’s sake, there are roughly 120 million people living in the Japanese archipelago. You can assuredly find someone who isn’t related to you. Anyone.
Firefly Wedding Ep. 2
Satoko’s toxic relationship with Shinpei continues. There’s a constant tug-of-war raging within the poor girl. At the moment, she is weak and clueless about the world outside the confines of her father’s estate. She’s a sheltered ojou-sama who wouldn’t survive for very long in the real world (never mind her faulty ticker). As a result, she is wholly dependent on Shinpei. Nevertheless, a part of her yearns to be independent. She wants to make it back home on her own two feet in order to repay her father. We thus see her defiantly eat rice that has been tossed on the ground. She then shows off her skillful dancing, proving that she could curry favor from other men. The dance was a bit awkward to watch at first, because there was no music. Random musicians suddenly start playing their instruments, though. Pfft, I guess her dancing is just that good. The point is, this stunt frees her somewhat from Shinpei’s control, but he’s still the only one who can fend off her would-be assassins. This tension between needing Shinpei and discovering how strong she can truly be on her own — a coming-of-age story, if you will — gives us a blueprint of what the rest of the series might look like.
Satoko is currently trapped on a secret island that is one massive red light district. It’s just brothel after brothel after brothel. According to Shinpei, there’s only one way for her to escape: become a courtesan and convince a patron to buy her freedom. At the same time, however, he is obsessively in love with her already, so he’ll kill anyone who sleeps with her. Hell, he’ll probably slit their throat if they dare ask for a kiss. I think that’s weird. The story, I mean, and not Shinpei. We obviously know he’s weird. He’s a psycho murderer, after all. I’m talking about how the story wants to have its cake and eat it too: Satoko descends into a world of debauchery, but she still has to maintain her chastity because a large portion of the audience isn’t mature enough to cope with the fact that courtesans do what courtesans do, which is often having to fuck their clients.
One last nitpick: I mentioned how the island is supposed to be a secret. Shinpei claims that powerful men have managed to prevent the authorities from finding out about the island. That sounds like complete hogwash to me. Oh, dens of vice and villainy certainly do exist, but never in secret. The authorities often knew about them, tolerated them, and hell, they sometimes regulated them. At the end of the day, it’s always about money. Why fix a problem if it isn’t profitable?
Back home, Satoko’s bodyguard is getting brutally whipped for losing her. He swears, however, that he’ll bring her back, so they can kill him after he’s done. Boy, it’s gonna be real awkward when it turns out daddy dearest hired those men to kidnap Satoko. I just don’t know who else it could be. Like I said, why would her stepmother and stepsister order the men not to assault Satoko if they were willing to get her killed? It makes no sense.
Ranma 1/2 (2024) 3rd Season Ep. 3
Everyone’s at the beach, which means old man Happy gets to be a massive creep again. Even worse, he has a bracelet with dangerous effects. Each of the gems on the bracelet has the power to make you fall in love with the first person of the opposite sex that you see. One gem only lasts an instant. The worst gem, however, lasts a lifetime. Naturally, he tries to get the girls to fall in love with him. When Akane accidentally ingests the gem that makes you fall in love for a lifetime, the kids pull out all the stops to prevent her from seeing a boy. At one point, Ranma decides to “take the bullet” and become that guy for her. But by that point, she had already coughed up the dastardly gem, so she rejects him. Just earlier, however, she was screaming for him when it seemed like he had fallen for Cologne due to also swallowing one of the gems. If you think about it, tsunderes are just liars. Liars are just pieces of shit, so… well, this is for the best anyway. Like with the love potion in that witch anime, I just find this sort of thing really messed up. If you gotta trick someone into loving you, you’re a scumbag. Simple as.
