My reaction whenever the weekend’s slate of anime rolls around.
TANK CHAIR Ep. 3
The siblings’ past is finally revealed thanks to, well, another sibling duo. Touko and her brother Naozumi came to the island for a job, but thanks to Shizuka’s twisted experiments for her brother’s sake, their target has already been eliminated. They recognize Nagi’s handiwork, however, and they’re pissed. Why? ‘Cause they all used to attend a place called the Academy, a twisted school that turns children into killers. Naturally, only the best get to survive. Kids are pitted against each other, and weaklings are automatically weeded out by simply dying. Naturally, Nagi was at the top of his class. What’s interesting, however, is that Shizuka was at the very bottom, but she’s still alive. She’s obviously not a very good assassin — hell, she probably can’t kill anyone at all — but her backstory gives us a plausible explanation for how a girl like her can survive on this island. She was never a normal kid to begin with.
Anyway, Naozumi does all the talking for himself and Touko, which is kinda odd because Saori Hayami is credited for voicing the latter. I can only assume that she’ll get a speaking role later, because why get such a big name actress if she’s just going to grunt and make breathing noises? But I digress. This pair of twisted siblings regards the other pair as traitors. Naozumi is simply pissed that Nagi managed to escape the Academy with his sister. He thinks Shizuka should be dead. It’s the type of sad, pathetic crab mentality that is why we can’t have good things. There’s an interesting, smaller example of this sort of thinking tucked midway through the episode. We see some thugs beating up and shaking down a volunteer who thought he could come to this island and help out its inhabitants. Is the volunteer naive? Sure. But I can’t help but feel for someone who tries. That’s more than you can say for a lot of people. Nevertheless, no good deed goes unpunished.
Anyway, the latter half of the episode is a furious chase sequence. The real battle begins next week. For what it’s worth, despite being a 3-D anime, the show looks pretty good. Usually, 3-D is a crutch.
Mission: Yozakura Family S2 Ep. 14
Thanks to Momo’s antics, the rest of the family garners a bit of a bad reputation. A good chunk of the Spy Association wants to outright expel them, which causes Kyoichiro to lash out a bit. The chairman ultimately talks him down, so he claims that he and the rest of the family can apprehend Momo in just three days. But Momo isn’t done yet. It’s now his turn to be offended by his family’s (mis)treatment — even though he’s the root cause — so he has planted bombs all throughout the Association. The Association permeates society, so bombs that affects it also affects, well, everyone. Great, so the stakes keep getting raised.
For me, Momo is trying too hard to be this wacky, unpredictable clown. He’s trying too hard to be this Joker-esque supervillain who is always one step ahead of everybody at all times. And I was never really charmed by the Joker either. I only really liked the Nolan version because of his targeted critiques at society. Every once in a while, you get a glimpse behind the madness. With Momo, on the other hand, you get the sense that he’s still just all about the family, and that’s far less compelling to me. I like villains that can make a decent point or two even if they’re ultimately evil. Momo doesn’t fit that archetype, so I can’t find it in myself to get invested.
Uncle’s Obsession with Cute Things Ep. 3
The coworker reveals that she doesn’t actually have a crush on Oji after all. She simply idolizes him. She says he’s more like an oshi to her. Eh, sure, I get it. I dabbled in the Hololive fandom, and there are definitely plenty of people who aren’t in love with their oshis. There are plenty more, however, who get really parasocial about their idol of choice. But this is neither here nor there. The point is, the runway is clear for Oji and Kenta! I kid, I kid. I don’t really do this shipping business. But isn’t it peculiar how Oji doesn’t have a single platonic female friendship to speak of? He doesn’t even have a female family member that he speaks to. I’m getting close to ojisan status, and I still call my mom at least weekly. C’mon, Oji, where are the women in your life? Just wonderin’.
Speaking of female friendships or the lack thereof, Oji bumps into his ex-wife on a business trip. It’s unclear how she truly feels about it. Oji makes some progress by finally being able to admit what his secret was and still is — what ultimately destroyed their marriage. And upon learning that her ex-husband likes cute things, the woman readily replies that she still would’ve left him had she found out about his love for cute things. Man, what a horrible woman. Imagine losing your love for someone over a single preference. I’m always dismayed when I come across similar stories on Reddit or whatever. Lots of guys, for instance, will throw a tantrum if their girlfriends get a tattoo. Now, if it’s something extreme like tattooing a dick on her face, fine, I get it. But I just can’t wrap my mind around discarding an entire long-term relationship because of a single, innocuous tattoo. Surely, there is more to someone than what is on their skin! But again, the ex-wife is rather odd, because she’s disappointed that he no longer has any feelings for her. Maybe it’s just her pride doing the talking. In any case, she announces that she’ll be transferring to an office near him, so it looks like we’ll be seeing more of the ex-wife going forward.
Super Psychic Policeman Chojo Ep. 3
Tired of Chojo goofing around, HQ sends over a rookie cop in the form of a robot. I like how Copbot is so hellbent on keeping Chojo in check that nobody actually does any work. Chojo keeps stubbornly trying to rebel while Copbot chases him down each and every single time. Only when HQ threatens to fire Copbot and turn him into a restaurant server does the gang finally attempt to apprehend a bad guy. So why doesn’t HQ try that with Chojo? Just kick him off the force if he keeps building plastic models at work. Sadly, it looks like it’s very difficult to fire a cop in every country. Over here, the only time a cop faces any real punishment is if they become a whistleblower. Accidentally kill a minority? No biggie! Use Flock cameras to stalk women? Boys will be boys! Snitch to the press about another cop being racist? How dare you?
Red River Ep. 16
Now that the truth has been revealed, the fake Ishtar would normally be exiled to a far-off province where she must do hard labor. Yuri not only shows her clemency, she lets the fake Ishtar join the palace as one of her attendants. There’s nothing wrong with mercy, but this is kind of unfair, no? There must be countless girls who would want to lift themselves out of poverty by becoming a royal attendant. Not only that, they haven’t lied about being Ishtar. But whatever Yuri wants, Yuri gets.
Oh yeah, the fake Ishtar’s name is Ursula. Doesn’t that sound a bit anachronistic? Well, I looked it up, and Ursula is derived from the Latin word “ursa” for bear. The Ancient Hittites predate the Latin language by over a thousand years.
Kail is officially named the crown prince. Yay? I dunno, I guess I don’t really care.
With Ursula joining the team, she’s obsessed with getting Kail and Yuri to hook up. As a result, we get an awkward moment in the bathhouse where Kail actually manages to seduce Yuri, who’s like fifteen. Even worse, every single person in the prince’s retinue is watching to see if they finally “consummate” their love. Fucking hell, man. Kail, however, backs off probably because he still thinks it’s better for Yuri to go home. YES, GO HOME. GO BACK TO YOUR FAMILY AND MODERN PLUMBING.
But this show is even more obsessed with testing the love between those two. As a result, a woman — a minister’s daughter, in fact — comes forth with a child and claims that the kid is Kail’s son. Yuri is somehow heartbroken over this. Even if he does have a son, it happened before she came along so…? Anyway, Kail admits that he had relations with this woman in the past, but denies siring the kid. Unfortunately, we don’t have Maury to settle this paternity dispute, so Yuri will just have to take his word for it. At first, she thinks he’s lying, but ultimately relents when he swears before his mother’s tomb. Pfft, sure.
DARK MACHINE THE ANIMATION Ep. 2
The show doesn’t explain what Rudra is up to nor why Kairi is so desperate to fulfill his late grandfather’s last wish. Instead, Rudra somehow borrows money from Kairi’s ID, then forces the team to jump immediately into a match with said money on the line. There’s so much wrong with this: 1) Kairi still barely understands the game, 2) Bran and Shinn won’t practice with him, and 3) they’re up against the second ranked team. Bran tries to protest, but Rudra literally throws the woman over her shoulder. Rudra then has the temerity to get mad when her team loses. Shit leader, shit teammates, shittier game. Worst of all, Kairi has yet to show any signs of a personality after two episodes. He just kinda goes along with whatever people tell him to do. It feels like this show is shaping up to be a huge waste of money, which, considering its ties to NFTs, makes total sense.
The Detective Is Already Dead S2 Ep. 2
I think I’ve seen too much anime to enjoy this show. In this episode alone, we find out that Siesta and Nagisa used to be orphans experimented on by Seed. They tried to fight back, but they obviously failed. Alicia was also a real girl who sacrificed herself to save them. To deal with it all, Nagisa ended up creating an alter ego in Hel. I’ve seen my fair share of sad orphans and cruel experimentations, so I felt nothing as I watched this episode. At best, it’s a pastiche of countless anime tropes spiffied up with a new coat of paint. You might like this show’s version of very familiar events if you are fond of Siesta. If I was new to anime, I might really like these “twists” and “turns.” At worst, however, it feels like an utter failure of the imagination, especially when other shows have done everything first and also better.
Dandivine Ep. 2
It wasn’t surprising that Gekiha got dumped, but he got dumped while on the crapper. Really puts “taking a dump” into perspective. Unfortunately, Gekiha is so boring, his response to getting dumped is equally dull. I still don’t know what to make of this show, because it’s still so plain. Kinda like its protagonist. Instead of one ugly kaiju, several ugly kaijus attack this time. So in return, Dandivine also has other robot friends to join the fray. Then they transform into one robot and defeat the big, bad kaiju. In the process, Gekiha also saves Akane. Well… so what? Where are we going with this? Will Gekiha finally get a personality now that he’s the chosen one who gets to pilot a mecha with his uncle? Are the bad guys gonna finally tell us what they’re all about? Is the parallel storyline about selling toys going to amount to anything? Shrug to all three questions.
FX Fighter Kurumi-chan Ep. 3
Kurumi gambles with her father’s money and actually profits, but how she got there was still gross. She was supposed to cut her losses if it got to 94 yen and didn’t rebound. But did she? Of course not. She hung in there, hoping that it would rebound. Then when it refused to, she actually turned her monitor off. People who cannot face reality should not be playing around with money! Someone take the computer away from this stupid girl! But it’s just the third episode of the series. You can’t have the main character poor and destitute when we’re just a quarter of the way in the season. So while Kurumi wasn’t looking, the AUD/JPY pair not only rebounded, she ended up making a 1.3 million yen profit… which she will naturally squander as soon as the next episode airs, I’m sure. It’s so messed up, dude.
It’s such a simple show, too. You’re just watching a girl watching a line go up and down. The voice actress really has to sell the anxiety, because there’s really nothing else for the show to lean on. I think Aina Suzuki has been doing a pretty solid job. She hasn’t had much work in recent years, though.
Tetsuryou! Meet with Tetsudou Musume Ep. 2
One of the girls has a dream of visiting every single train station in the world. Not just Japan, but the entire world. I dunno about that, girl. Japan is relatively safe. There are some ratchet ass places out there, some in my very own country. The thing is, this show makes each station seem unique and special. To celebrate Misaki joining the club, the girls plan to spend an entire day visiting every station from Choshi to Tokawa. Each stop has a highlight to marvel over. Meanwhile, when I go from Powell to Civic Center, the only “highlight” is that there are more homeless people.
The Vermilion Mask Ep. 2
Desiring vengeance against the people who slaughtered her family, Sona dons the mask of the war god. At first, we see a sakura tree growing out of an egg-like… thing. A twisted version of Sona eventually emerges from it. This weird Sona easily kills most of the bad guys, but not Gouon, i.e. the one in charge. But that’s when she turns into what I assume to be the actual war god. Aaaaaaand he’s just a dude in a samurai suit. I dunno, I think the other design was more fearsome. The actual war god looks plain by comparison.
Nevertheless, he merely has to clap his hands, and that’s enough to blow two chunks out of Gouon’s torso. The only person left to oppose the monster is Peru. Could he have run? Dunno, maybe the war god is fast. Does the damn thing have a name or do I gotta call him war god over and over? I dunno either! Well, the kid futilely fights back, but completely loses his right arm in the process. Just when it looks as though the war god will finish the kid off, however, the monster suddenly collapses to the ground. Apparently, Sona is too weak to sustain him for very long, so the effect of the mask is wearing off. Peru did his best to buy time, and I suppose he earned himself a pyrrhic victory.
In the aftermath, Sona wakes up in an infirmary to see the price of her vengeance. Naturally, she feels guilty. But should she? I wonder about that. Yes, it was reckless to accept the war god’s powers, but I think both kids would’ve been dead had she not done so. On their own, they didn’t stand a chance against Gouon and his goons. Yes, the stunt cost Peru his dominant hand, so he can no longer make masks. But 1) losing an arm is better than being dead, and 2) these masks suck, man! Also, if his master’s art can die with him.
Regardless, Sona is torn between rebuilding her kingdom or supporting Peru. I hate how fiction always promotes this idea that the heir of the former head of state — a literal child — should automatically be handed the keys to an entire nation. Oh, I’m sure if Sona ascends the throne, she would be surrounded by advisors. But still, if I’m a citizen, I don’t want a child ruling over me! I don’t want anyone ruling over me, but certainly not a dumb kid! But we knew she wasn’t going to stay anyway. Sona takes one last look at her kingdom as if to say her goodbyes, then the next day, she hops on a bus with the protagonist. She’s all over the OP with Peru (along with one other guy we’ve yet to meet), so her leaving to go on an adventure was always a foregone conclusion. Maybe OPs should go back to being abstract and mystical instead of spoiling everything all the time.
I’m Looking for a Zombie Ep. 3
Natsuki protects Yuu from a zombie attack, but gets bitten in the arm. Aki immediately cuts the arm off. Will it prevent Natsuki from turning? Let’s hope so. Even then, however, you gotta deal with the blood loss. Hopefully, the kids got some much-needed first aid training back in their villages. But we’ll see.
More importantly, how will the group respond from here on out? Will Yuu retreat back to being overly cautious? I would be surprised if she wasn’t consumed with guilt by next week’s episode. After all, they put themselves at risk by heading to the photo shop. The Yuu they met in the first episode wouldn’t have agreed to this. She has grown soft and in such a short amount of time, too. So I’m curious to see how Yuu deals with the situation.
As for Natsuki, it’s hard to imagine her not being cheerful. Nevertheless, she can no longer be the bow-totin’ ranger of the group. That was how she fought; that was the role she served. Welp, can’t do that anymore. Will she suffer a hit to her confidence as a result? Will she now feel like she’s dead weight? We don’t know these characters very well, so it’s hard to predict what they’ll do next. It’s only been the third episode. Still, if I had to hazard a guess, I have a hard time seeing this show swerve into super depressing territory. But we’ll see soon enough.
Anyways, when they developed the photos on Aki’s father’s camera, they saw a picture of Tokyo Tower. Before shit hit the fan, that’s where they were planning on heading to next. I assume those plans haven’t exactly been canceled. They just have one or two people they might need to cheer up first.
HORROR COLLECTOR Ep. 2
Do I like horror? I do. I read a lot of horror novels and short stories. The Weird isn’t necessarily a collection of horror stories, but I’d say a good 90% of the short stories in that collection were at least horror-adjacent. And I had a blast reading through it. I don’t think I like horror involving children, though. Usually, when adults fuck up and get screwed over, well, that’s just horror for ya! Ah well! But when kids get screwed over, I dunno… it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
In this week’s episode, a bunch of girls (always girls) are haunted by a malevolent ghost that likes to sneak itself into your selfies. Yes, it’s a photobombing ghost. Once the curse begins, you have to stay away from reflective surfaces for seven days. It really looked like all three girls managed to survive this harrowing ordeal. I mean, it’s just seven days! How bad could that be! One girl had a really close encounter, but her sister saved her in the nick of time. Well, the same can’t be said for another girl, whose seven days weren’t up. As a result, she gets snatched by the ghost right in front of her friends. And does the main character even care? “Not my problem anyway,” he says. Damn. So like last week, kids die and our protagonist sucks. Do I wanna keep watching this show? I just can’t deal with kids or animals getting hurt.
VERTEX FORCE Ep. 3
Akira doesn’t quite have the controls down, so he’s having a tough time keeping up with the girls as they fly through the sky. So what does Eleanor do? She smacks him out of the sky. She’s such a dick. She may have potentially broken his arm in the process, too. But as luck would have it, Akira crash lands right in front of the fifth and final Vertex, a.k.a. Yoko. There’s just one small problem: Yoko can’t call upon her Engine anymore. Y’see, she has a fire-aspected Engine. When she was little, Yoko and her friends had gotten lost in the woods during the winter. They were really cold, so Yoko brought out her Engine to warm them up. Unfortunately, she also toasted the forest around them and thus scared her friends away. Just like that, trauma~
Boy, it sure would be convenient if an ice-aspected Battlenoid were to show up and threaten to freeze everything, including her dad’s precious ramen shop! Yep, that’s exactly what happens. And just like that, Yoko gets over her trauma and joins the team. It’s so bad, I have to laugh. I’m sorry, but this is some basic bitch level writing. But yeah, that’s how you know this is a show for kids.
Oh yeah, the mascot isn’t cute at all. It also pulls a Morgana and turns into a car.
The Seven Knights of the Marronnier Kingdom Ep. 3
I recently found out that this show is supposed to get 20 episodes instead of the usual slate of 12 or 13, and this explains why the pacing so far has been so… deliberate. The anime is content to sow the seeds of mystery for now. Things happen or come up with nary an explanation. The brothers freak, for instance, when Hungry reveals that, well, he’s hungry. Why? Does something bad happen if he doesn’t get food when his stomach is growling? The show doesn’t elaborate. Insomniac and Eleonora are soon departing for their diplomatic mission. Out of nowhere, the brothers enchant Ellie’s weapon and clothes for the cold clime. Did they always know how to cast magic or is this the first time that it has ever come up? Even though one of her sons is leaving and may never return, Baribara can barely keep herself awake. She doesn’t seem like a very sentimental person. Insomniac is warned that the country he’s heading to has a “dream infiltration” spell. Okay…? Like I said, mysteries abound, and the anime is in no rush to reveal its hand.
Speaking of Ellie, her father finally lets her know that she and Insomniac are arranged to be married after their mission. She accepts it nonchalantly. It never comes up as a topic of discussion between her and Insomniac. That’s weird, ain’t it? You’re about to marry someone, but you don’t even so much as plan it? I thought Ellie’s attitude might imply that she’s not really down for that sort of thing — that maybe she doesn’t see Insomniac that way. But her memories of their childhood seem to imply that they were a lot closer until recently. She mentions that her heart is troubled lately, but leaves it at that. We sorta revisit Insomniac’s traumatic experience from when he was a child, but from Ellie’s perspective this time. But it still doesn’t really explain anything. Well, next week’s episode is titled “Eleonora,” so we probably won’t have to wait long to find out what her deal is. Even with 20 episodes to tell this story, we still gotta get through the rest of the brothers, so the anime can’t afford to dawdle for too long.
Even the Student Council Has Its Holes! Ep. 3
The only somewhat decent joke was Ume accidentally sticking a mint up Tan’s butt instead of a proper suppository. In other news, we finally meet Ume’s older sister, who greets him at the door by sniffing his underwear. Welp.
One last thing: people should give all of the books mentioned here a shot. They’re pretty good.
Everything else about everything else:
Well, I finished Fortune’s Weave, and like Three Houses, it starts out strong only to fall flat on its face. I have so many complaints about the story and some of the gameplay that this would merit its own post. But I’m not sure anyone cares, so I’ll just leave it at that. Fucking hell, the reinforcements, the non-stop reinforcements.