Let this be a lesson: when a woman is in love, she can contort her body like a pretzel.
Blue Box Ep. 30
No new episode this week.
I’m Dating a Dark Summoner Ep. 5
The conflict of the week is that Roni and Amona are too loud when they have sex, and Eury has to deal with the complaints. Why not Haru? The girl is too pure and innocent to realize that two of her party members are hooking up. But speaking of innocence, the show still insists that Eury is a virgin. Why? It’s not like this is a harem. Is the target audience really going to get pissed if they learn that Eury has had relations before? It’s so laughable. Ironically, Eury became an adventurer because she wanted her own harem. Apparently, she’s had no luck finding even a single guy to sleep with. A hot elf like that? C’mon.
Anyway, Eury thinks back on how inter-party romance has always destroyed her previous groups. Yeah, but that’s because she had a bunch of jealous guys fighting over the big-boobied witch. Roni and Amona have their own thing, so what’s there to worry about?
Ultimately, Haru helps Eury realize that Roni has changed for the better thanks to Amona. He used to be a complete stiff before she came along. He’s much more relaxed now, thanks to the four-times-a-week love-making sessions. By the way, I think it’s amusing that four is apparently an extremely high number. Sure, it’s certainly above average, but we’re talking about a couple in their 20s. Two to three times a week should be the norm. Then again, we’re talking about Japan, so all bets are off…
Even in fantasy anime, omurice is a thing.
The Cold Sato-san is Only Sweet to Me Ep. 4
Honestly, kind of a stupid episode. You’re made to think that Koharu’s father had confiscated her phone and stopped her from seeing Sota. In reality, she used up all their data from being on “Minstagram” too much. In this day and age? What kind of cheapass data plan are you on? There’s no way you can use up a data plan simply posting pictures on social media, especially in Japan where they have pretty good infrastructure. Even if I streamed Youtube constantly on my mid-tier plan, I would just run out of 5G speeds. I can still use the internet on 4G. It would be really slow and annoying, but still usable! So no, I don’t buy this for a second. It sounds ridiculous.
But to make a long story short, her father was basically sussing out Sota to see if the kid was good enough for his daughter. The old man is actually friends with Sota’s old man. Sota then gets to take Koharu home, where she finally returns his feelings. So if there’s any silver lining, at least they’re officially dating now. We still got 67% of the show left to focus on their relationship.
The weird thing was seeing Rinka in complete tears over “losing” Sota. She literally developed a crush on him yesterday. There’s nothing to cry over.
Please Excuse My Younger Brothers Ep. 17
At one point in this episode, Syu looks up how to steal someone’s love interest. Even if Ito wasn’t family, I would find this gross. But the fact that Ito is their sister makes me want to bow out so bad. Brothers and sisters, man. BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Anyway, Syu challenges Gen to an athletic competition, which just sounds stupid. He’s a gamer who rarely gets any physical exercise. How does he expect to beat Gen at any sport? I want to say he’s trying to lose, but no, it looks like he’s trying. But more importantly, what does Syu really want out of this? Does he really intend to confess his nascent feelings for his sister, or will he just make Gen be honest about Ito? The thing is, Gen is being honest about Ito. He doesn’t know how to feel about her, because he’s a fucking idiot. He sucks. Syu is a nice kid, but he’s still a younger brother. This romance sucks because both options are related to the female lead. It’s unbelievable.
Truly a face that can launch a thousand ships.
Firefly Wedding Ep. 4
Shinpei beats up Eishin for trying to kill Satoko, but he’s enjoying it a little too much. He’s relishing the opportunity to more or less brutalize the guy. If he really wanted to kill Eishin, he could’ve done so already. So to stop Shinpei from prolonging this any further, Satoko grabs a lamp and smashes it into Shinpei’s head. Great start to a new relationship.
We then learn a thing or two about both leads. Satoko pretty much has every sad Asian drama trope covered: she’s coughing up blood, even her own mother never treated her as her own person, and she was isolated from the other children in her youth. Shinpei tries to cheer her up by releasing a bunch of fireflies in their room, but she quickly opens a window to let them escape. They live such short lives, so she thinks they deserve to be free. Get it? It’s a metaphor for Satoko! LEMME HAMMER IT HOME IN CASE YOU DON’T GET IT
Meanwhile, Shinpei never knew his father — probably just one of the many disgusting men who visit this island for sex — and his mother was a courtesan who was killed by one of her clients. Shinpei then killed him in return, and he’s had a taste for murder ever since. Obviously, he needs therapy, but that would be rather anachronistic for this setting. As a result, the burden falls on Satoko to fix her man!
After that, things run hot and cold between the two. Satoko doesn’t know whether to love or hate Shinpei. Hint: you probably shouldn’t love a murderer. Alas, there’s a huge audience for this kind of thing. We live cushy lives, so some people like to indulge in dark fantasies. Maybe write to a killer in prison, or get your rocks off hearing lurid details on true crime podcasts. It’s only when they finally see the horror up close and personal do they realize that the real thing is suddenly not so fun.
Anyway, the other courtesans continue to bully Satoko. Isn’t it strange how Shinpei doesn’t notice this, but he was watching her like a hawk when she was with Eishin? Or maybe he does notice that his “sisters” are being mean to his future wife, but he’s letting it play out for now. Hmm.
Ranma 1/2 (2024) 3rd Season Ep. 5
I think I dislike this show more than all the shounen slop I have to watch this season. Why? Because I watch those at 3x speed. As soon as Ranma starts, however, I let out an exasperated sigh and crank it up to 4x. Even without all the creepy perverted shit that has aged like milk, I still can’t stand any of the main characters. And what’s the first thing I see at the start of this episode? Some loser developing the candid, voyeuristic shots that he took of Akane. That’s how they trick ya. Ranma’s an asshole, but even a fucking asshole is superior to these fucking creeps. It’s a race to the bottom of the bucket, and Ranma barely manages to keep his head above the rest of the crabs.
Anyway, we get the same, tired bickering bullshit between Ranma and Akane. She baked cookies in… I guess home ec? They come out looking odd, but how can you fuck up a cookie, right? Well, Kodachi steals them, so Akane gets mad at… checks notes …Ranma?! Yup, it’s apparently his fault for not eating them fast enough. Still, he kinda deserves it, because he was shit-talking her cookies before even trying them. But to be fair, her cookies really will make you sick. Sigh, can you believe this is supposed to be a romcom? Who needs enemies when both love interests are tsundere?
Oh yeah, right before this went down, Ranma confiscated a film roll from the pervert voyeur. I’m sure this’ll bite Ranma in the ass somehow. Maybe Akane will think he took the pictures. Or maybe she’ll be flattered because she’ll think he took creep shots of her. I never know which way these stupid shows will land. I’m still betting on the former, but the latter wouldn’t surprise me.
Akane proceeds to take cooking lessons, but it’s totally not for Ranma, you guys. I mean, she just wants him to admit her food is good, but like… outta pride, yeah! She won’t accept defeat! Needless to say, she’s a disaster even with someone watching over her. The thing is, I truly think being a bad cook means you’re careless. Not everyone can be a good cook, but if you fuck up a dish, it just means one thing: you can’t follow directions. Alright, sure, if you have ADHD or whatever, then you have an excuse. But for the rest of us boring neurotypicals, you can’t just say you have no talent for it. No, you’re just lazy and careless. You do not have a gene that makes you burn soup. You just put something on the stove and dangerously left it there.
In the end, she might have made something edible, but Ranma suddenly has an excuse not to eat it: he’s being blackmailed because the creep took a photo of Kodachi embracing him. Welp. Akane can’t be horribly unreasonable all the time, so luckily for Ranma, she actually realizes that he’s being blackmailed. Unfortunately, we get cliffhanger’d, because the negative is now locked away in a collar that electrifies anyone who tries to remove it. And Tatewaki has decided to wear it like a belt. This show is just full of weirdos with no sense of boundaries, and the target audience just laughs along with it.
