Uh…

— When the hero wakes up, he finds that he is kissing a child. Welp, this got creepy fast. And why would Satsuki allow this? Well, she doesn’t really have a choice in the matter.

— But good ol’ Moroha keeps his eyes on the prize.

— Like every crappy harem ever, our hero is special. People in this universe have magical powers because they can somehow remember their past lives? Well, the harem lead can remember multiple past lives! So there!

— Afterwards, Satsuki wants to plant a big, fat one on Moroha  as well, but she quickly acts all embarrassed when it’s convenient for the narrative. Hello there, virgin-whore dichotomy.

— We finally get to watch the show’s OP, but it’s nothing special. By the way, you always see anime protagonists hold their bags like this. I can’t imagine that this is very comfortable, though. Plus, is it supposed to look cool? Is this the equivalent of one-strapping a backpack in the west?

— Satsuki is proud to finally exchange contact info with someone other than her parents. Today’s a good day.

— Unfortunately for Satsuki, however, Moroha and Shizuno are quickly called away for a special meeting. Apparently, our hero’s been promoted to Rank C, and this means he gets to serve on some special team called the Strikers.

— What are the Strikers? They’re basically the school’s task force or whatever. And they get to battle ugly monsters also known as the Metaphysicals. Rank C, huh? Well, he won’t stay there for long.

— Moroha is at first hesitant to join up, but he is absolutely jubilant when he realizes how much he’ll get paid. Unfortunately, we don’t get to hear what that amount is.

— Satsuki stalked our hero all the way to the rooftop, then asks if she could join as well, but the leader of the Strikers reject her instantly. Unfortunately, this is a pretty generic anime, so you know that she’ll join eventually. Hell, she’ll probably join by the end of the episode.

— Meet the team, harem lead. ‘Cause they’re going to be absolutely useless after this point. You’re going to take all the glory, and we can just forget that we ever even met them. But for now, the spotlight is on them.

— Yeah, that’s right. These kids are totally stronger than the adults. And what a surprise, too! This has never been done before in any anime ever!

— After a day of training and exercises, Moroha finds that Satsuki has been waiting for him. She tells him all about this super cheap okonomiyaki place, but Shizuno quickly shoots down the idea. After all, our hero has to rest up, and we all know how strenuous eating okonomiyaki can be!

— The training is so tiring that Shizuno can’t even cover herself properly at night.

— Despite the two girls being rivals for the harem lead’s affections, Satsuki invites Shizuno to the mall so that she can buy something special for their man. Unfortunately, just staring at some underwear is enough to make the twintailed girl squirm uncomfortably.

— So obviously, she’ll be frozen in place when a giant serpant attacks out of nowhere, right? Right???

— It’s actually Shizuno who finds herself unable to do anything. As you can see here, the girl has extra things to worry about than just her fear.

— Since Shizuno isn’t being much of a heroine, however, Satsuki decides to take action. The animation here is so horrible, and for a show all about fanservice, they can’t even give Satsuki an ass.

— What Satsuki didn’t prepare for, however, is that there are more than just one serpent. She should’ve known this, though. After all, this is anime.

— Shizuno eventually tries to help out, but she finds the lower half of her body turning to stone.

— So are the Strikers going to help or what? Nah, let’s just stand here, look pensively, and clutch our breasts. But yeah, their leader won’t mobilize the group, because he feels that they’re outclassed. But if they can’t subdue the Metaphysical, then who will?

— We thus see a flashback in which Moroha had lost his parents, and he couldn’t do anything to help because he was too young. So gosh darn it, he’s not about to let his harmettes die!

— Yeah, that’s right. We can’t have anime babes and tentacles and not actually take advantage of this golden opportunity, huh?

— But fear not, ’cause the hero has finally showed up to save the day. Apparently, he’s powerful because he’s floating in some sort of amniotic sac.

— I find it funny that the guy could barely fight at first, but all he had to do was remember his past lives then bam… instant badass hero who can take on a multi-headed serpent all by himself.

— Yo, I thought your body had turned to stone. How exactly are you moving it?

— Anyway, there’s no need to focus too much on such a boring battle. Long story short, Moroha remembers yet another past life, writers a few words into the air, then proceeds to blow the serpent up into little chunks.

— What does the leader of the Strikers have to say for himself? Let’s just both say we’re right…

— But look on the bright side! Satsuki was brave, so she gets recruited into the group anyway! Does this mean she can fight? No… but, uh, bravery! Yeah!

— Before the episode ends, Moroha asks Shizuno what their relationship status was in a past life, but the girl won’t spill the beans just yet. What a great episode, boys. Totally made my Sunday night!