Kampfer Ep. 8

“What’s the big idea?”

“I told you. We’re gonna be a serious romantic comedy this week.”


“…I see.” I bet this is just a cover to lure back the anime shippers we’ve been losing.


“Just be mentally prepared to be a romcom.”

“Wait, if people hear that we’re a romantic comedy now, won’t we lose our ecchi fans?”


“And what’s so bad about that?”

“They’re the only viewers we got!”

“You mean the people who’ll buy our DVDs anyway to see some cartoon tits?”


*****

“Thanks for showing up.”

“Ah… I didn’t wanna know what you’d do to me if I didn’t.”

“What exactly do you see this show as?”

“An ecchi harem.”

“I’m trying to get us some respect. You should be grateful.”

“But we’re not really a serious romcom are we?”

“We are.”

“You’re joking. So when am I gonna turn into a girl? Are you gonna give me a lesbian kiss in a mini-bikini?”


“What a strange romcom.”

“But we’re not a…”

“Let’s go.”

“Jeez.”

*****

*cue generic anime jazz*

“Do we really have to pretend to be a romcom? Are people really downloading and watching this show?”


“Learn how to be funny. If you want to be a respectable harem lead, you have work to do. Let’s go over there.”


*****

*boing boob sound*

“See, I knew this wasn’t a respectable anime. Say… when are the anime shippers showing up?”


“Focus on the romcom.”

Man, I wish I had been the lead of Nyan Koi.


Nyan Koi prefers slightly smarter leads.”

“Hey, I’m not an idiot!”

“Yeah… you are.”

*****

*crappy jazz pop that never ends*

“Aren’t you gonna buy something for me?”

“Why?”

“As a memento of our date. Keep this in mind. Romcoms like to have silly scenes like this. Junpei got Mizuno some shitty cellphone trinket last week.”

She’s right… Anime shippers can’t come up with any plot, but they love pointless vignettes with flashbacks. I give her a memento and then shippers will write about how she pulled the trinket out one night and remember all about this boring date. And the fanfic will be paired with some terrible pop song. *sigh* “All right then. It’s just a small trinket, but I hope they fall for it.”

*****

“It’s a romcom… so holding your arm shouldn’t be a big deal.”


Is this also a trap for shippers? She’ll do anything… oh well.


“Now you’re relaxing.”

“I know what you’re getting at.”

“You definitely don’t have the right idea.”

“I wonder! Wouldn’t it be better to be transformed?”

“Why?”

“There are more and more yuri shippers everyday.”

“Stay as a man for now.”

“I guess we need more straight shippers…”

*****

So peaceful… if only I was in Nyan Koi. I could be playing with cats.


“I know what you’re thinking, but you’re too dumb for them. Here, open up… just pretend you’re being fed by Mizuno.”


“…you’re from Kampfer.”

“Put your arms around me.”

“Even if this is to draw out shippers… we totally look like lovers.”


“What’s with the ‘like?’ We’re a serious romantic comedy.”

“But it’s not…”

“What if you were a lead in Nyan Koi?”

“Then of course!”

“But Nyan Koi wouldn’t let you put your arms around a girl yet. There’d be lots of awkward blushing. So you’ll have to put up with me.”


“…”

“Why do you want to be in Nyan Koi?”

“Well, uh… people say it’s funny. And it has good animation.”

“As are we. And The Sacred Blacksmith.”

“Nyan Koi has cats.”

“It’s still just a stupid harem show.”

“I mean, well… Nyan Koi’s… just better than us.”

“You’re right… I’m sure The Sacred Blacksmith feels the same way.”

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5 Replies to “Kampfer Ep. 8”

  1. Oh and E, are you the one with the Twitter account for the site? If so, will you end up making a post about Akikan? Oh if that were to happen….XD

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