Winter 2009 Predictions (Abandon All Hope)

A new season of anime is rolling in, and given the devastating accuracy (well, mostly) of Moe Suck’s previous set of predictions I thought I’d take a swing at the winter lineup. Needless to say, my prognosis is a little bleak. Props to chartfag for the handy visual guide to the horrors that await us.

As per last time I’ve divided shows into those beneath consideration, those which might still pull through, and those that could go either way. I’ve also been forced to add a section for the one show that I honestly think will be pretty good. But we’ll start with the biggest section:

THE DAMNED:

Hanamaru Kindergarten– Could hardly sound more innocent, but the trailer reveals its true nature. For the uninitiated, that ‘oppai’ word you hear over and over again means ‘breasts’ (what is this, a Sekken-ya show?). Just what anime needs, toddlers making awkward ecchi jokes.

Seikon no QwaserE Minor said it best. Would be the worst of the lot if not for…

Chu Bra!!– I don’t even know what to say. If this is half of what the synopsis promises it will be the worst anime I have ever seen. Juden-chan had tentacle rape and watersports in the very first episode but at least the main character wasn’t a 6th grader.

Ladies vs. Butlers!– High school comedy plus maids equals terrible. One of those shows where you don’t really have to read beyond the title to know it will suck, like Armed Librarians last season.

Harukanaru Toki no Naka de 3‘transported to another dimension’ series all kind of blend together after a while. This will probably not suck particularly more or less than anything else in the genre, but it’s so depressingly generic that it makes me bored just thinking about it.

THE DYING:

Dance in the Vampire Bund– Not even SHAFT, not even Shinbo himself can save a shitty vampire show with an ‘old soul’ loli character from itself. On the other hand I thought Maria+Holic was the dumbest shit I had ever heard of when I first read about it and they pulled that off, so who knows?

Sora no Woto– Sounds generic, looks like K-On! in space. And the last thing this world needs is more K-On!.

Baka to Tesuto to Shoukanjuu– Don’t know enough to wholeheartedly condemn it, but has all the makings of a really bad anime. Why is it always high school…

Omamori Himari– See above.

PURGATORY:

Durarara!!– No high school, no magical princess transformations, no struggles to be the strongest? I don’t know what this is, but it’s missing all the shit that usually makes good anime bad and bad anime worse, so we’ll see. Second most fun-to say name of the season after Harukanaru.

Gag Manga Biyori+– Much like the above, doesn’t seem to include usual shitty anime tropes. Doesn’t mean it will be good, but anything outside the usual is worth a shot.

Ookamikakushi– Third most fun to say name. Sounds a lot like Higurashi, which I still have a certain nostalgic affection for. I couldn’t get into Umineko because I missed the creepy rustic setting, so maybe this is like the sequel I’ve been waiting for.

Nodame Cantible Finale– No idea, didn’t watch the first series.

Some Shit about Kewpies– What? Uh, whatever.

OORAH:

New Fucking Hidamari– Yesssss. A slice of life comedy that doesn’t treat the audience like cartoonophile creeps. The jokes can be flat and it embraces a lot of familiar tropes, but the characters are endearing without interfering with the humor and the art is uniquely interesting in an unobtrusive way.

All in all, winter looks like it will be only slightly better than fall, which is not exactly encouraging. Stay away from the moe and pray hard for a better harvest in the spring, ye faithful.

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21 Replies to “Winter 2009 Predictions (Abandon All Hope)”

  1. Plus we have 18 titles coming in all together. Instead of the usual 50 or some-odd.

    You know… The innernets and piracy can be blamed for a lot of things. Exposing to the world how repetitive and uncreative the anime industry really is just happens to be a positive thing (unless you work for said industry).

    So yeah. It’s just Kimi ni Todoke and the adult anime for me from now on.

  2. Looking forward to Durarara since the novels it’s based upon are by the same guy that wrote the Baccano novels. Loved Baccano, so I hope Durarara’s at least half as good.

    Vampire Bund has potential, but I have a feeling it’s going to skew in the wrong direction. Like the basic idea behind it (vamps actively trying to take over the world via politics) but once I saw that the “head” vampire was some little girl my hopes were crushed. We’ll see about this one.

    There’s supposed to be a new COBRA anime coming out in January. Saw an announcement recently about Crunchyroll snagging it. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing, so I’m looking forward to it.

    Everything else looks to be mediocre at best. Hopefully there’s a couple of surprises, but I doubt it.

    1. Try Hidamari if you haven’t, it’s enjoyable in a tame way. And yeah powerful lolis who are older than they look are basically a recipe for disaster, as much as I’d like the believe Bund will be watchable because of the people involved I’m pretty sure it will be both horrible and popular and Sankaku will run nude pictures of the characters like they were pieces of news like they do for Railgun.

  3. I went and read the Dance in the Vampire Bund manga it made me sad because they have the makings of an interesting and engaging story but the constant pandering to the loli-loving pervs completely fucks this shit up.

  4. “Not even SHAFT, not even Shinbo himself can save a shitty vampire show”

    Its not like SHAFT was ever actually a good company. They pretend to be creative, but trying way too hard.

    1. Unlike Fin, I don’t really care for Shaft but it’s just amazing to me how divisive Shaft is. I doubt I’ll like either Vampire Bund and Hidamari Sketch (tired of shows with just little girls), but pretending (assuming that they are just pretending) to be creative is at least better than going through the motions.

    2. What about their work makes you think they’re trying too hard? (Not asking to be a bitch, honestly want to know) They can get a little abstract, but I’ve never felt that it took away from the rest of the show. People accept anime characters, with their huge eyes and crazy proportions, as ‘normal’, but if you change up your backgrounds or camera angles or (gawd forbid) put text on the screen, suddenly it’s “GET BACK TO YOUR COFFEE SHOPS YOU PRETENTIOUS SNOBS, WAY TO TRY TOO HARD”. Like E Minor said, whether or not you like their anime I can’t understand what it is that makes people object so virulently to SHAFT. I’d rather see them fake a little creativity than not try at all.

  5. D**N! you have to check out Baccano! My second favorite anime of all time behind Cowboy Bebop. That’s why I just have a feeling that Durarara is going to be the best out of this bunch.

  6. All I wonder is why Seikon no Qwaser somehow decided that their main character somehow didn’t look like Allen Walker. Then again, character overlaps are always and I do mean ALWAYS bound to happen. Rachel Alucard from BlazBlue for example, looks like the Vampire Bund loli except for the different clothes. Sora no Woto. No further explanation needed.

    On another note, Precure seems to be racking up seasons like no other Magical girl series that I’ve ever not seen.

    I do wonder how and why they are making a series out of a mayonnaise mascot.

    1. On another note, I would like to congratulate Welcome to the NHK for targeting the real audience of anime besides the high school students. There should be more shut-in-otaku based shows rather than high school based shows if they want to really bring in the money.

  7. I don’t know about this season, but it looks like the ancient loli vampire or K-On! goes to war will be my choices. On second thought, the idea of a middle school/high school underwear club might raise the bar along with other things.

  8. @ KizukuKanshi:

    It’s amazing how people talk mess about animu from KyotoAnimu, SHAFT, on down. And yet Precure succeeds in being a topic nobody talks about. Then it becomes the Power Rangers of anime; not BIG enough, yet not going away because it’s atleast cute.

    As for “Welcome to NHK:” People like that guy over at formerly “Anime on DVD” won’t shut up about this “hit too close to home” show. There’s a reason why this show’s underrated: Not everybody’s existence is sad and miserable like fans of this show are.

    Finally, about SHAFT: It seems like this company’s only at its best when it’s ransom and unfocused. It only uses the plot points as a springboard for it’s “the highway” approach. It worked well in Japan, but not in America (except for Negima).

  9. Raws are slowly appearing. So far I’ve spotted Chu-Bra and Ladies vs Butlers. Rather than ramping up to excitement, it feels more like hell is about to break loose. I guess I’m far too attached to all of this new stuff, though. I still have so much more of the kind of anime that won’t be going anywhere unless there’s a site crash. At least you can watch those all in sequence…(Sometimes more than once, even.)

  10. Nodame Cantabile is a breath of fresh air among all those moe-loli shows, trust me. I call it the ‘Honey and Clover’ of the music world, and with good reason too. Will be following that this season, and only that.

    1. I saw the live drama version first. I tried to stick with the first season of the anime, but I really couldn’t find any reason to watch the same story twice. I stopped following it after a while. I do think Nodame Cantabile is decent though.

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