A new season of anime is rolling in, and given the devastating accuracy (well, mostly) of Moe Suck’s previous set of predictions I thought I’d take a swing at the winter lineup. Needless to say, my prognosis is a little bleak. Props to chartfag for the handy visual guide to the horrors that await us.
As per last time I’ve divided shows into those beneath consideration, those which might still pull through, and those that could go either way. I’ve also been forced to add a section for the one show that I honestly think will be pretty good. But we’ll start with the biggest section:
Hanamaru Kindergarten– Could hardly sound more innocent, but the trailer reveals its true nature. For the uninitiated, that ‘oppai’ word you hear over and over again means ‘breasts’ (what is this, a Sekken-ya show?). Just what anime needs, toddlers making awkward ecchi jokes.
Seikon no Qwaser– E Minor said it best. Would be the worst of the lot if not for…
Chu Bra!!– I don’t even know what to say. If this is half of what the synopsis promises it will be the worst anime I have ever seen. Juden-chan had tentacle rape and watersports in the very first episode but at least the main character wasn’t a 6th grader.
Ladies vs. Butlers!– High school comedy plus maids equals terrible. One of those shows where you don’t really have to read beyond the title to know it will suck, like Armed Librarians last season.
Harukanaru Toki no Naka de 3– ‘transported to another dimension’ series all kind of blend together after a while. This will probably not suck particularly more or less than anything else in the genre, but it’s so depressingly generic that it makes me bored just thinking about it.
Dance in the Vampire Bund– Not even SHAFT, not even Shinbo himself can save a shitty vampire show with an ‘old soul’ loli character from itself. On the other hand I thought Maria+Holic was the dumbest shit I had ever heard of when I first read about it and they pulled that off, so who knows?
Sora no Woto– Sounds generic, looks like K-On! in space. And the last thing this world needs is more K-On!.
Baka to Tesuto to Shoukanjuu– Don’t know enough to wholeheartedly condemn it, but has all the makings of a really bad anime. Why is it always high school…
Omamori Himari– See above.
Durarara!!– No high school, no magical princess transformations, no struggles to be the strongest? I don’t know what this is, but it’s missing all the shit that usually makes good anime bad and bad anime worse, so we’ll see. Second most fun-to say name of the season after Harukanaru.
Gag Manga Biyori+– Much like the above, doesn’t seem to include usual shitty anime tropes. Doesn’t mean it will be good, but anything outside the usual is worth a shot.
Ookamikakushi– Third most fun to say name. Sounds a lot like Higurashi, which I still have a certain nostalgic affection for. I couldn’t get into Umineko because I missed the creepy rustic setting, so maybe this is like the sequel I’ve been waiting for.
Nodame Cantible Finale– No idea, didn’t watch the first series.
Some Shit about Kewpies– What? Uh, whatever.
New Fucking Hidamari– Yesssss. A slice of life comedy that doesn’t treat the audience like cartoonophile creeps. The jokes can be flat and it embraces a lot of familiar tropes, but the characters are endearing without interfering with the humor and the art is uniquely interesting in an unobtrusive way.
All in all, winter looks like it will be only slightly better than fall, which is not exactly encouraging. Stay away from the moe and pray hard for a better harvest in the spring, ye faithful.