Sword Art Online II Ep. 6: A true gentlesir would never lay a finger on a grill

star wars

Hey, I found this neat piece of fanart out there on the internet! Alright, alright, let’s watch this terrible show.

— Dork Gun: “But whether you’re a fake using his name or the real one… Someday, I’ll kill you.” Alright, right there and then, you know this guy can’t kill people through the game. Why? Because what kind of loser goes, “Someday, I’ll kill you?” If you’re actually a badass who can kill anyone you want, you’d just do it. Why would you hesitate, especially if it’s the infamous Kirito? But Dork Gun can’t just kill you in-game. Dork Gun has to be able to track you down in real life. And hey, GGO allows anyone to put in their real name and address to receive prizes. It all fits! The only question is how can Dork Gun kill people in real life and also appear in-game at the same time, but this can be easily explained too: it’s a multi-person operation.

— Kirito is really shaken up by the encounter, though. Since Laughing Coffin wasn’t particularly well-developed in the original series, we now see a flashback in which Kirito and a group of people from the Aincrad arc had attacked Laughing Coffin’s base of operations.

— Just more reasons I’m disappointed with SAO:

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Bad guys look like Death incarnate! But the good guys wear white armor! If you actually look at a real MMO, however — any MMO, in fact — people wear all sorts of outfits regardless of who they are or what clan/guild they belong to. As such, the first SAO was just a fantasy anime pretending to be about an MMORPG. And now, SAO II is a shitty, futuristic anime also pretending to be an MMORPG. Sure, it has competitive FPS elements, but it also has levels for people to gain? And stats to develop that no competitive game would ever have? Like honestly, who would watch an e-sport where the victor is simply someone who has done more stat-grinding than the loser?

—  If you take notice of this scene, it’s just the same animation being looped over and over. SAO still felt the need to show it to us twice. It’s hilarious that an anime as famous as SAO still needs to cut corners in its animation budget.

— Then at some point, the action simply gives up. Instead, we’re treated to still shots of people fighting as Kirito resumes control of the narrative, telling us flat-out what had happened afterwards. Yawwwwwwn.

— Sinon drops by to check on Kirito, but he’s still shaken up. She doesn’t know what’s getting to him, but seeing the guy… I guess triggered would be the right word, it reminds the girl of herself. And uguu, we can both be triggered together! Do I buy Kirito’s trauma? No, not really. I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense. I think most people in his shoes would react the same way. But the problem is that most of us aren’t Gary or Mary Stus. So y’know, we have real reasons to be scared. We’re not invincible. And you could argue that Kirito isn’t invincible either, but that’s only true in theory. He’s actually been quite overpowered in the story. So honestly, I feel like it’s cheap when a character who is overpowered 99% of the time suddenly starts shaking with fear. I feel like he’s only vulnerable when it’s convenient. In fact, you could argue that a personality like Tatsuya of Mahouka fame makes more sense story-wise. Tatsuya is overpowered, and he knows it, too. As a result, he acts and talks accordingly. With Kirito, on the other hand, he’s overpowered as shit, but we’re supposed to believe he’s also shit-scared of some chumps? Eh, I don’t buy it.

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— Another thing that makes the GGO arc rather lame is that, well, the original SAO was at least an adventure. The characters would go from places to places, see different things, complete various quests, fight dragons and whatnot. Here, Kirito sits in a room until it’s time for his match. He is then whisked to some random battlefield we’ll never see again where he does the same thing he did last time: kick someone’s ass in a short minute or less. Ho-hum.

— Oh dear, our previously shaken-up Gary Stu has now gone berserk. So that’s what it has come down to: his one small window of vulnerability is just another reason to make him become even more overpowered than before! Sure, he suffers a few scratches, but he also wins in record time.

— Then immediately after this match, we see Sinon’s next match. It’s just not interesting or fun to watch. It’s just one series of drab matches one after the other, all in these boring, concrete-filled locations. It’s one thing to watch a competitive e-sports game play itself out on the same maps over and over. If you’re watching a CS:GO tournament, you’re not exactly there to admire the environment. You’re there to see the players’ skills and organization. Since SAO is not a real e-sports tournament, it makes no sense to admire the players’ “skills” unless you’re emotionally a child and are thus thrilled by Kirito’s displays of overpoweredness. The truth is, there’s nothing interesting here to see or look at at all. There’s no visual narrative whatsoever. Just pretty anime characters doing things in brown and grey locations.

— Uguu, Sinon can’t concentrate ’cause she keeps thinking about Kirito.

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— And y’know, it’s boring enough playing a sniper in a real FPS game. We now get to watch Sinon win her match by taking a single shot. She literally wins by sitting in one place and pulling the trigger. Ex-citing.

— Finally, it’s time for Kirito and Sinon to face each othe-… alright, I officially declare A-1 Pictures unfit to draw any asses from now on. Please, stop. You guys are just ruining asses for all of us.

— Kirito ends up psyching Sinon out by walking directly at her. As a result, she misses her shot. The guy doesn’t even dodge, but she misses her shot. She then misses again and again and again. This has to be the dumbest way this match could unfold. It’s obvious that Kirito doesn’t want to fight, especially since Sinon is one of his precious haremettes. But how insulting! No, I get it. He only wants to make it into the actual tournament, so the results of this match doesn’t matter to him. He has nothing to gain from fighting her. But you know what? It’s called respect, man. Have some respect for both your opponent and the tournament itself. Even when, say, the Miami Heat had their playoff seed all locked up by the end of the season, they still sent their subs out to play the game. The subs still, y’know, tried. What Kirito is doing here is just a blatant slap to the face. And it’s hilariously dumb on another level: SAO tries to make it seem like MMOs and virtual realities are stuff we’re supposed to take super-seriously ’cause they’re just like real life, y’all, but then our Gary Stu goes and pulls this stunt. Not only does he not respect Sinon’s intent to duel him, he also makes a mockery of the tournament. Who cares if the results don’t matter? It’s called sportsmanship.

— Sinon then decides to run right up to her opponent to ask him, “Why?” What a great MMO, huh? You can’t even message people or talk in general chat. If you want to talk to someone, you have to get within hearing distance of them. Why, it’s almost like this is not an MMO. It’s like the anime’s just pretending to be about one!

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— But then the guy fucking flip flops in a span of a minute. Holy shit, way to stand by your convictions: “It’s only a game. It’s only a single match. But that’s why we need to fight as hard as we can. Otherwise, we don’t have the right, or reason, to live in this world.” Gee, thanks for coming to that conclusion now rather than earlier so we could actually have some real action. You’d think he would’ve known this already from his experiences in the original series — hell, the previous MMOs were such serious business that he got a girlfriend out of the whole experience — but no, it took Sinon’s tears to remind him what he had always believed in the first place. He just conveniently forgot, that’s all. But please, fuck up the actual match instead, so that you and your haremette can have a tearful exchange in front of everybody. After all, this is Talking Art Online, is it not?

— So to make up for his blunder, Kirito proposes a duel to decide this match. Unfortunately, this is still dumb. Why? Because talk about wasted potential. I’m not even joking when I said there was actual potential here. After all, Kirito and Sinon’s fighting styles couldn’t be any more different. Armed with a sword and a handgun, Kirito has to get up close and personal to win a match. In reality, this shouldn’t be easy. Kirito would have to use the layout of the battlefield to his advantage. Instead, every single one of his matches have come down to the Gary Stu running headfirst at his opponents, blocking bullets with his sword like some shitty Jedi Knight.

Meanwhile, Sinon is a sniper, so she has to keep her distance, maybe even lay out traps so her opponents can’t get close to her, and plan out multiple escape routes in case they do. But like with Kirito, we don’t see any of this. She literally sits in one place, takes a single shot, and wins. So what happens when Kirito and Sinon meet up in the finals? It’s one magical shitstorm of un-creativity.

First, Kirito doesn’t even want to fight. Meanwhile, our sniper has the easiest target any goddamn sniper out there could ever ask for, but she can’t hit him! She magically can’t hit him, because she’s too goddamn psyched out. Who wrote this shit? It’s like watching a game of horse between the NBA’s best players, but when we get to the finals, Kobe (let’s assume he’s in his prime) pulls out a lawn chair and Lebron shoots airballs.

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And now, they’re going to have a duel. They’re going to have a one-shot takes all duel. Between two contrasting fighting styles, the match comes down to a competition that doesn’t highlight either player’s strengths and/or weaknesses. Instead, it’s just another opportunity for Kirito to display his overpoweredness by cutting Sinon’s one bullet in half at such a short range. Then, he bullrushes her only to catch the girl with one hand, and shove his long energy sword in her face with the other hand. Meanwhile, people are spectating this shit. This is so unbelievably stupid.

— Sinon: “He’s strong! That strength goes beyond a virtual game.” OH BABY, JUST TAKE ME ALREADY. IF I’M NOT SCARED OF YOUR GUN, I WON’T BE SCARED OF ANY GUN.

— Sinon wants to be as strong as Kirito in real life. But he says he’s not strong. ‘Cause he doesn’t know if he has what it takes anymore to pull the trigger that will save the people he cares about (really?). But he can pull her closer…

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…dokidoki…. YO ASSHOLES, THIS IS STILL BEING STREAMED TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

— But hey, I know why he didn’t tell Asuna about him playing GGO. Wouldn’t want her to be watching this shit, huh? It’s funny how the story even needs a new girl for every new arc. It’s like if we don’t swap out girls, we’ll get bored of them or something.

— Remember that thing I said about respect? Y’know, respect for both your opponents and the game itself? KIrito goes, “…would you surrender? Killing girls isn’t my thing.” Yep, more chauvinist bullshit. Can’t kill you, ’cause you’ve got a vagina! So please, just submit to me.

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56 thoughts on “Sword Art Online II Ep. 6: A true gentlesir would never lay a finger on a grill”

    1. Anyone who says that they’re enjoying this excuse of a show (other than being ironic) doesn’t have the intelligence to even know they’re being insulted.
      If you feel insulted then congratulations, you’re a normal person of above-average intelligence.

      1. I don’t watch this show and I feel insulted. This is the only way I can keep track without loosing my sanity. I can only take one train-wreck show at a time (Captain Earth), thank you very much

      2. I think that’s going a bit far saying that people who enjoy this series lacks intelligence. I dont even understand how that would be insinuated but ok. If the person can constructively articulate why they like something, their intelligence shouldnt even become a factor in the equation of whether they like this show or not. Hell. Ill go a stretch further and say that perhaps it doesnt even matter if someone can properly explain why they like this show, People’s tastes in shows dont prove that they lack some sort of intelligence

    2. ~Paraphrasing from Star Trek: Nemesis~
      When you read chapters of Naruto week after week, and you soon understand endurance.

      1. If last 4 years in Naruto has taught you anything, it’s how much crap something that was at least enjoyable can turn into. At this point, Naruto may be the lowest point of mainstream anime/manga.

        1. Sorry, but bleach has already won first place in that category,

          dammit, A1 cant you make the fights more interesting? it’s like watching a level 100 character in a level 1 arena, it’s boring as shit and if we needed something to help us sleep, we would have watched mahouka instead and ffs, u guys are not completing for snoozefest award..

    1. It’s called being critical. And it should be everybody’s duty to call bullshit when it happens.
      Unfortunately this bullshit happens every week until it ends. And when this trainwreck comes to a flaccid stop, that will be an amazing day.

  1. I am of the group that thought this season of SAO was an improvement over the first……..and then this ep happened? I dont know…i was torn by this ep…the animation dipped and the whole narrative decided to spiral downwards instead of improving itself….im disappointed

    1. SAO has been a spiraling plane crash since it was revealed that Asuna has MAXED cooking stat. The best parts of this show were meh and mediocre at the highest, the lowest is almost criminal.
      .hack// is superior to SAO in every single department.

      1. Anon, I love you.
        .hack// franchise indeed suck in it’s anime series. But once you tapped into their games, you won’t get off your seat. I’ve finished G.U. (started with cliche, progresses and ends beautifully) and Link and they’re of the best games (except for Link’s gameplay but still, the story’s great) in my life.
        SAO is nothing compared to .hack//. SAO is just a story of a Gary Stu in quest of searching for more and more girls to flock around him.

  2. One quick question, did they ever fight Laughing Coffin at their base in the first series? I have a feeling that never happened.

    1. Of course that didn’t happen. :-)
      As I said last time, Kawahara Reki made up stuffs along the way, when he felt like milking more money out of SAO.

      1. The thing is,you could get a lot out of the laughing coffin raid.
        – Building up the laughing coffin as a threat
        – Planning for the raid as our main characters contemplate possibly killing another person
        – The ambush
        – The fallout as Kirito and the rest realize what they’ve done.
        – The revelation afterwards that helps them move forward.

        I paused the episode when we got to the flash back. I couldn’t believe you would waste such a good idea on a flashback. That scene was more compelling then the entire ALO arc. I really want to like SAO but it keeps on doing these stupid things.

  3. Just . . .
    I don’t know how anyone could write this and go to sleep at night. Like, I get it, the dude needs to eat, but fuck man. At least put some more effort into it. THINK about what you’re writing.

    Tastes are subjective but if anyone still likes this show and defends it, they should pretty much get punched in the groin and the throat. At this point of the show, there’s literally nothing positive about it. The only ones who are still watching are empty brain-dead manchildren who are way too stupid to see trash even if it was dangling in front of them. Then there’s, of course, our very own E Minor who’s taking the hard hits for us. Can’t believe this is just episode 6.

    I feel bad for the anime staff who worked on this show; they’re overworked as it is, but overworked on this pile of nothing? Just husks.

        1. But that says nothing because Mahouka is the worst of the worst. The lesser of two evils is *still* evil, Draggle. It’s not my fault that you chose to subject yourself to that anti-Chinese show.

    1. I actually know a girl who watches this. She is a good looking cuban who used to go to my boxing gym. Then again she just likes the stuff due to blind fandom and literally stopped talking to me when I told her her sources are wrong and Season 2 of Attack on titan is not coming this summer. What do you know summer is almost over and no season 2. The stupidity I deal with.

  4. I liked this episode. It added to the theme of past trauma the show set up earlier by including Kirito’s relation with Laguhing Coffin. I also liked the fact that he got hit by bullets, showing he isn’t perfect. I did like the parallelism between Sinon and Kirito too, and how they were also different. Finally, I did like the fact that Kirito used something he noticed earlier (when he was playing the Untouchable! game, he noticed that the gunman’s eye moved to where he was going to fire) and used that in his fight.

  5. Kirito is one chauvinist pig. And a two timer, three timer, four timer, too.
    Please let there be a yandere ending, where all girls take turn to crack his nuts.
    Oh, rather than the staffs, I pity the voice actor and voice actresses for getting these roles.

    1. about shinon if you was reading the novel you will know it not going to be romance she only going to admire his skills nothing more so he not four timer

        1. Eh, knowing the anime (and some context) we all know that Sinon also wants Kirito’s gamer god e-peen. With an arc that ends with her getting the prize and giving it to Kirito in exchange of him needing to “thinking of her when he uses the sword”.

          Asuna’s too dumb or too “faithful” to know that every single girl wants a piece of dat gamer god (So much for her tsundere status, which could have been cliche if used to cling to Kirito and treat him like property).

  6. the Novel was SH1t, cuz the premise was sh1t, the plot was sh1t, and fps virtual battles arent fun to read. WHen they said this crap was getting animated (ffs why not just animated alice saga instead, since this arc will carry nothing over) I thought, mmm , maybe they will make cool fighting scenes, use strategy, but no is mr crossdresses jedi knight going apesh1t in straight lines and haremmete v2.0 somehow going from a famous top sniper to a powerless girl

    1. That’s an opinion. Many people like gun fights, one of my favorite fight scenes is the one between Mami and Homura in Rebellion. They looked cool, and they gave legitimate reasons for why Kirito could deflect bullets.

        1. He used the bullet lines and eye movements. Why does that factor into him being overpowered?

        2. Anonymous seems to have a weak grasp on what overpowered means. bullet lines and eye movements? SAO apologists are so funny.

        3. SAO antifanboys are so funny. Instead of I don’t know, explaining why they have a problem with what I’d say, they’d rather insult me for my views, and not argue against what I have to say.

        4. SAO apologists also seem to be blind. Given that this website and the majority of comments all point to the fact SAO is full of crap, it seems that you turn a blind eye to SAO’s flaws. Maybe that’s how you manage to actually enjoy this trainwreck. I have no need to argue with you, given that i was talking to Anonymous, but all in all, i don’t need to tell you that SAO is crap. Everyone else already is. Adding my opinions will be complete and utter redundancy given that everyone else thinks this show sucks. Go back to MyAnimeList if you don’t want to see the opinions of people with the ability of actually being critical.

  7. @e.minor and it no suprise he have a trouma like this after all from the flasback he killed 3 pepoles and seen his frainds do this as well

  8. Err.. Kirito basically tortured that guy in alfheim online to near death.
    Twice.
    Oh, and kiritos pre-flashback bodycount was AT THE VERY LEAST 3 (!) people.

    1.) That guy from the guild that followd asuna around al lday, the guy who tried to poison-kill him. Yes. He killed that guy.
    2.) The lady from the arc where he was helpign that stupid girl get the revive item. Here is link to remind you: http://youtu.be/Oh8AsXWcBbc?t=8m23s Watch till the end.
    3.) kayaba. You guys DO remember that he stabbed the fucker, yes?

    So thats 3 dead guys we can DIRECTLY put on his tab. Now we could start counting the mountain of dead guys he is responsible for because he was all on about being a lone wolf instead of lending his OP’ness to the raidgroups….. or the group he has lead to certain doom….

    So no, i do not buy that 3 more anonymous guys belonging to the same group he already killeld 2 others from…. would shake his heart anymore.

    BTw: watching SAO in the abridged version, like DBZ, raises the shows quality a lot. Just go back watch SAO abridged 1….. it will make watching the current SAO drool even more excrutiating. :)

    1. DBZ is a watchable story. Arguably as long as you exclude GT which was made due to fan reaction it has no Gary Stu and is a fleshed out story. It took Goku 3 tries to kill Frieza. Actually it was the rage from Frieza committing mass genocide and killing 2 of his friends right in front of him that finally gave him the strength to win. He didn’t kill cell because he loved fighting so much and wanted to see his son who was stronger than him at the time beat up cell. Resulting in Cell self destructing and almost blowing up earth then coming back stronger. He later spent so much time fighting Buu that he no longer had the power to kill him. See he has clear flat out flaws that put others at risk. Kirito has no flaw he is perfect.

    2. I seem to remember the lady in the Silica arc wasn’t killed in the actual SAO. I think that was – quite masterful – editing on the abridger’s part, to reinforce Kirito’s psychopathic persona.

  9. “Sure, it has competitive FPS elements, but it also has levels for people to gain? And stats to develop that no competitive game would ever have? Like honestly, who would watch an e-sport where the victor is simply someone who has done more stat-grinding than the loser?”

    Ah! I wouldn’t be surprised. Considering the amounts of games that DO follow exactly that logic (including MMO FPS… PLanetside 2 being the most egregious example), it wouldn’t be so weird if after a while people considered it so normal they could watch it as an e-sport. The only difference would be that you could get the same things by throwing real money at the game. That aspect is indeed a serious lack of realism on SAO’s part – but on the other hand, I can understand that showing murder via videogame is one think, but microtransactions? Even evil has standards, man.

    1. Planet side 2 has no MLG or E-sport league. Halo no leveling really same with CS:G0. And the games that do have leveling are not mmo level grinding. There would be balance. Also skills from 1 game do not translate to another. In arena shooters UT 2004, Quake 3 I can dodge all day does not mean I will be able to do the same in counter strike. This is just a shit generic anime slapping on a video game label to be different.

      1. Yeah, but mine was that, a few years ago, a game where you can pay to get an edge over other competitors would have not even been considered a game at all – rightfully, I’d add. So I was just provocatively insinuating that if we just get used *enough* to the idea, in ten/twenty years that might actually be a thing. You never know. I really hope that this whole micro-transaction thing crashes and burns in due time as it deserves to, but yeah.

        1. To be fair, none of these pay-to-win games are legitimately huge in the gaming world. They do well enough to justify their existence, but they get plenty of bad press as well. I’m just saying the slope ain’t that slippery.

  10. Where the fuck does planetside has stat grinding?
    You cna grind for currency, in either certs of cash, to buy more equipment, but stat raises?

    Is buying a flak west now considerd stat grind? what?

    1. Oh and look planet side has no stat grinding. Thanks Lordrey for clarifying. No fps gamer is going to go for that stat grinding bullshit. Even tho Kirito’s whole I can see where going to shoot thing is pure anime bullshit any smart gamer is just going to lead their shot get him to go 1 way then blow his fucking head off.

  11. Kirito is the worst king of Gary Stu I can deal with the I am just on a another level than you because I was born a god Gary Stu like King from Grappler Baki. But Kirito is beyond a gary stu the world literally twists and bends its rules to make Kirito perfect.

  12. I cant even find a stat grinding fps….
    Because really, as a developer you chose FPS to AVOID the balancing involved in a stat-laden game…
    but wait.. HELLGATE london was an fps with stats that imopacted the game… but then again noone gave a flying fuck abut that game.

    BTW sorry if the first reply sounded like an insult or something. None was intended.

    btw watching any fps tourney is always boring as fuck….

    1. i mean the fact he seen his frainds kill lot of pepoles and the raid and the death of sachi.beside a trouma like this dont have to trigger right away it can happen when somone from the same place and event apear or somthing familliar happen

      1. To be honest, it would have worked if the effects of killing people affected Kirito in the long run … since almost all of the time he seems to have no true remorse or after-effect of killing people right after well… killing them. Subtle hints of a changing character could have worked, but we don’t see that. Kirito was incredibly stagnant from start to finish. The only time we GET to see Kirito grieve is when sad music plays and we hear OTHER PEOPLE be sad and grieving and heartfelt first. If anything that’s more like a emotional manipulation tactic….

        He didn’t exactly care about the deaths of his other friends, just with women who want to bone him.

        I mean, yeah we see Kirito in one episode grieving for Sachi (and only Sachi, apparently. Who cares about his other friends who he killed… they were strong. they are just terrible.) and in the very next episode… yeah who’s Sachi? Oooh new gamer babes! Oooh, Asuna’s topped the cooking skills? i know who my new waifu issss~

    2. Well, I’m not just talking about an FPS with stat-grinding. I’m talking about an FPS that has stat-grinding and a thriving competitive esports scene. Good luck with that.

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