Nah, I’m not going to start blogging this show full time. There’s just no Sword Art Online to mock this week, so I gotta have something to fill the void. Madan no Ou to Vanadis is definitely no SAO, but it’ll have to do in a pinch.
If you haven’t been following the story, our super awesome protagonist Tigre impressed mighty female warrior Elen so much that she wants him all to herself. Not romantically, of course. Well, not yet, of course. But you can already begin to see the wheels churning. Little by little, she’ll fall for him like the rest of them. It starts off with a blush here and a blush there, and pretty soon, she might not be so proud to stand naked before him anymore. It’s d-d-different this time! But oh no! Tigre’s homeland of Alsace is about to be destroyed by the dastardly son of House Thenardier! Will Elen allow Tigre to return home to save his people? Well, yeah, obviously she would. And we’re just about to find out how…
— Some kid’s going to get a dragon if he takes 3,000 troops with him to destroy Alsace. The kid just cackles with delight at the chance to murder some people. I don’t know, owning a dragon sounds cool. Killing people? Eh, I could do without that. Still, I like how mass murder never seems to bother fictional characters all too much. Even if they don’t care about these peasants, you’d think they’d want to at least get into heaven (I assume people are religious in this show since they have temples and shit). Being Hitler kinda makes that hard…
— So we return to our lovely couple at the center of the story, and our maiden says she’s changed into something more revealing so that Tigre can look directly at her. I’m not sure how that works, but okay. Plus, it doesn’t get any more direct that what we saw in the previous episode, but again, okay…
— But the ensuing conversation unfolds in just about the way you’d expect it to. Let me protect my people! But what can you do alone! I don’t know, but I gotta do something! You can’t do shit with that sort of thinking!
— She then challenges him to a duel, because dying here is, uh, no different than dying in Alsace. Actually, there is a difference. I don’t think it’s hard to imagine that a lot of people would rather die defending their country than watch it get run over by some evil bastard. This isn’t exactly a hard concept to grasp, but writers deliberately make these characters obtuse for no reason.
— Obviously, Elen wants Tigre to have a plan. She doesn’t want him to charge back into battle all by himself. He’d just die, and well, he’s too precious of a harem lead to waste like that. I just don’t know why she doesn’t say so right from the very start. Instead, Elen has to encourage him in such a painfully drawn-out fashion.
— Eventually, Tigre asks Elen to lend him her troops. She spends like a good fifteen or so seconds doubling over in laughter. Okay. It turns out later that she had made a bet with Limlisha on what Tigre would do. I just don’t really see why this is funny, but whatever. Eventually, she agrees to help on one condition: she gets to own Alsace when it’s all said and done. Hey, just one step closer to the harem lead’s heart, am I right?
— Maybe I should’ve included this show in Harem Hill from the very start, because look at these two girls now. They’re fussing over Tigre like some besotted haremttes. In fact, it pretty much seems like Elen beams with pride whenever the guy enters the room. As for Limlisha, she’s just shaping up to be a classic tsunderekko.
— Even though Elen is now riding towards battle, she can’t help but think of a compliment that Tigre had given her just earlier in the day. She thus blushes profusely on her horse. Yeeeeeeep. Let’s take these powerful female warriors, then make them turn super girly around the harem lead. All in all, she’s just another brick in the wall.
— Elsewhere, Duke Thenardier confirms that Alsace is not a very important location. So why bother invading the place? It turns out he just doesn’t want it to fall to his rival Ganelon, so he’ll burn Alsace to the ground instead. Hm, nice guy. I bet his son will die in the upcoming battle, though. Then I bet he’ll swear revenge on Tigre for life. How dare you kill my son who was only trying to rape and pillage your homeland! The nerve of some people!
— Man, is that maid’s name really Titta? I know we met her in last week’s episode, but I kind of just glossed over her existence at the time. By the way, she won’t evacuate the city, because she wants to be there to greet Tigre when he returns. Yeah, I definitely should include this show in Harem Hill… I’m not saying a servant can’t be devoted to his or her master, but you wouldn’t go this far unless you were in love. And c’mon, it’s a twintailed shoujo named Titta.
— So Zion’s troops pillage Alsace without much of a fight. It doesn’t stop them from thrusting their spears up into the air as if they’ve just won a tough battle, though. But elsewhere, Zion gets pissy when he learns that most of the residents have fled the town. Awwww, I wanted to kill people! With nothing better to do, he turns his attention to Tigre’s mansion instead. He proceeds to break into the place and knock shit over like some spoiled child. I know this guy’s an asshole, but is it really necessary to make him this pathetically immature too? Needless to say, he runs into Tigre’s beloved Titta.
— Seriously? Yeah, super seriously. Of course the guy just happens to be a rapist too. I mean, why wouldn’t he be? I can just hear it now: rapes were common back then, so it just makes sense! Uh-huh. My point is, you can’t ever save an anime maiden unless she’s in danger of rape. Saving her in any other moment is just waste of heroic points. Seriously, nobody cares if a fiefdom’s prodigal son is returning home from battle to save his people! But if you throw in a near-rape scene, now you’re talking.
— Naturally, Tigre saves his Titta in just the nick of time. Elen also gets to show off the mighty wind power of her sword Arifar. Cool, I guess. For Elen, that is. I don’t care about Tigre and his doting Titta. But apparently, even Elen’s sword likes Tigre. Alright, alright, after this week’s post, this is going into Harem Hill. It got left out of the first entry, but I can just assume it would’ve finished in third place behind Grisaia no Kajitsu and Ushi-ugly Animation. I mean, I think we can all agree on that, right? Madan no Ou to Vanadis is no world-beater, but it’s better than those two dumpster fires we just watched earlier this week.
— A sobbing and shivering Titta continues to blush around her lord. Elen teases Tigre by wondering out loud if a diminutive, twintailed shoujo is really Tigre’s type. Probably not. Both Elen and Limlisha are well-endowed as fuck. As in, they’ll have chronic back pains for the rest of their lives. They’re thus the primary haremettes. Those like Titta are secondary haremettes. They’re still in love with the harem lead, of course, but they will never actually be viable candidates for his love.
— I googled Limlisha’s name just to make sure that was really her name. After all, I’m still getting used to these stories and their myriad characters. In any case, I came across this hilarious piece of spoilers that I just had to share with you guys:
Oh no, don’t get the wrong idea, people! They’re not having sex! Rather, she just got poisoned, so he’s desperately trying to save her by sucking the poison out of her Tittas.
— Someone tries to assassinate Titta — why her of all people? — so when Tigre fires an arrow back in retaliation, his bow breaks. As such, he has no choice but to take up the Black Bow! No wonder the girls love him. Who else rides into battle with such a mighty black bow? Also, once you go black, yadda yadda yadda…
— Anyway, that’s it for the second episode. I wasn’t sure what to think of the show after the first episode, but it’s pretty clear now where this adaptation is headed. Fans of the light novels might feel the need to defend the story, claiming that the adaptation has cut out a lot of the “cool stuff” like the military strategy and whatnot. But as far as I’m concerned, the anime adaptation feels like yet another shitty harem.