Mahou Shoujo Site Ep. 4: So incredibly dull

I had no clue torturing magical school girls could be so boring. The only time the episode ever managed to pique my interest was when Aya stumbled into Tsuyuno’s apartment and found some ugly bastard being slowly tortured to death. Yes, the ugly bastard is naturally her parents’ killer. Not only that, he threatened to come back one day and rape the girl, so she lived in fear until she was finally bestowed with a magical stick. She’s kept the ugly bastard in her apartment ever since, and that’s kinda fucked up. Kinda. Still, how is she paying for this apartment? Does nobody ever bother to check up on this girl? Does she literally have no legal guardian in her life? So even though this part of the episode isn’t that dull, it still stretches credulity. Unfortunately, we now have to address all the boring stuff.

First off, is there really only about 539k seconds until the big, bad Tempest arrives? Because that’s only about six days. Don’t tell me that our girls only have six days to resolve whatever issue that they need to resolve. Second, why does Nana give out magical sticks in the first place if she’s just going to have her Magical Hunter take them all back? What’s the point? Since Rina is currently out for the count, Nana hopes that Sarina can become the next Magical Hunter (the girl is armed with a killer yoyo that she laughably tests on some poor crow). And sadly, Nana has to explain the whole rigmarole to Sarina, so we’re forced to sit through a bunch of repeated exposition. But like I said, what’s the point? Sure, sure, the story wants to play things close to the chest, but if you’re going to do that, you should at least give us some compelling character drama. Mahou Shoujo Site fails hard on that front.

Tsuyuno wants to know why those girls started bullying Aya in the first place, and hoo boy, the backstory is lame and boring. When Aya first arrived, she failed to acknowledge Sarina… ’cause, y’know, the girl’s shy. She’s also a terrible runner, so she held up her class during PE. That doesn’t sound like much of an offense, but these kids are some of the most overdramatic bunches to ever live. Last but not least, Sarina tried to help Aya out one time, but our girl was too shy and socially awkward to even say thanks. And the rest is, as they say, history. Yep. That’s it. Let’s relentlessly bully a girl because she didn’t say thanks. Let’s kill a cat because she didn’t say thanks. Let’s have an upperclassman rape her because she didn’t say thanks. This isn’t even horrifying because it’s just so… stupid. There’s no bloody way in hell I can give a fuck about any of these characters when their motivations are that dumb. Aya’s brother is the same way. He’s abused by his father, because the old man expects perfection. As a result, he hates humanity. Um, okay then.

The show is also incredibly boring, because its plot developments are so goddamn trite. As if Sarina becoming a mahou shoujo wasn’t bad enough, guess who just transferred into Aya’s class! That’s right, it’s our lovable dog idol Nijimi! Y’see, she just can’t help obsessing over her dead best friend, so she needs to get her revenge at all cost. As an idol, she has no free time! So y’know, she may as well quit her job! And… enroll in school? Wait, hold up. If you want more free time, why did you decide to go to fucking school? Ah, whatever. Anyways, Sarina finds out all about Nijimi’s revenge quest, so she goes and spills the beans about Rina. Basically, Aya and Tsuyuno can expect the dog idol’s wrath in next week’s episode. Personally, I could barely keep myself awake this week.

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