Harem Something or Other Pt. 2: It’s always something

Hm. Let’s just get started. 

How Not to Summon a Demon Lord Ep. 3

Plot Content:

— A pathetic white knight tries to save Rem and Shera from the Demon Lord. He doesn’t realize, of course, that the haremettes are already in love with their master. Plus, he’s too weak to even make Diablo break a sweat.

— Is Celes smarter than she looks? Maybe. She has a quest specifically for Diablo and his crew of merry haremettes. All they have to do is deliver some wine to soldiers stationed at a bridge, and they get a huge reward. Sounds simple enough.

— Rem, however, refuses to take the quest, because she doesn’t want to be indebted to Celes. Don’t be petty.

— As a result, Diablo and Shera head out for the bridge alone. When they get there, they soon realize that a massive army of 100 Fallen are making their way to the bridge. What are Fallens? Shrug. They’re apparently super strong, though. As overpowered as he is, Diablo isn’t confident that he can take out 100 of them by himself. Uh-huh.

— Nevertheless, he’ll lend a hand anyways. Even though he’s a Demon Lord, he’s essentially a good guy. At least in Overlord, Ainz kinda acts like a bad guy sometimes. Sometimes. Diablo is just a goody-two-shoes masquerading as an edgy, bad ass villain. Hell, he doesn’t even have horns. Those are fake.

— Meanwhile, Celes is sitting at the inn, waiting for Rem to return. So not only did she manage to separate Rem from Diablo, she also put Diablo in a difficult spot. Y’see, she’s not convinced that he’s a Demon Lord from another realm. She thinks he might be something else entirely. Wait, what? Have you seen the Fallen? Fallen males all look like roided-out furries. What part of Diablo looks like a Fallen?

— Anyways, the the plot is simple. Diablo has to take out the enemy commander. As for Rem and Celes, they have to deal with that racist asshole from the last two weeks. Pissed that he got fired, he decides to become a furry. Oh no!

Harem Content:

— The big news is that we have a new haremette to tame. She also happens to be a Fallen. Yes, that’s right. Male Fallens might look like furries, but female Fallens are hawt, hawt, hawt.

— Diablo has to deal with salacious rumors, but are they really untrue? I don’t think so.

— More stupid boob antics with Shera.

— And more.

— But that’s about it, really. This week’s episode is surprisingly low on the fanservice-y bullshit.

The Master of Ragnarok & Blesser of Einherjar Ep. 3

Plot Content:

— Barely any plot in this week’s episode. Just massive amounts of paperwork. Who knew that being a Viking patriarch would be such a white collar job?

— Early in the episode, some asshole crashes a victory party just to size Yuuto up. Yep, that’s it. They don’t do anything but talk. He’s also the opposite of Yuuto, by the way. He’s got super strength and speed. With a flick of his fingers, he can shatter your penis blade. On the other hand, Yuuto hides behind his sisters and daughters. He can’t fight at all. All he can do is look up stuff on his phone.

— And look real mad! How dare you insult my haremettes!

— I still don’t understand how his phone still works.

— But thanks to his phone, he can teach his people all about paper.

— So here comes the most bullshit part of the episode. As Yuuto and Felicia walk through the market, they hear a slavetrader trying to sell two human beings: a mom and her daughter. Yuuto immediately buys them. Oh, what a great patriarch! Therein lies the problem. He’s the patriarch. He also goes on and on about his stupid phone and how useful it is. Well, instead of teaching your people about paper and samurai swords, why don’t you teach them about human rights? But nah, instead of outlawing slavery, it’s better to just buy another human being. Isekai protagonists are so full of shit.

Harem Content:

— We now have loli twins to deal with, but you might be surprised to learn that only one of them is currently drooling over the harem lead. The other one drools over her own sister.

Playing house with one of his sisters…

— …then having the other one rest her head on his shoulder. Boy, does he love his sisters!

— Ironically, he makes his actual sister cry.

— While we’re at it, we may as well count that loli slave as one of his new haremettes.

— The loli twins want to become his wives, but he’d rather be their daddy instead. Gross.

— Nevertheless, this impresses the lolis, so they pledge to become his daughters. But first, they must past some stupid trial that I’ve already forgotten all about. Onto the next shitty harem!

Island Ep. 4

Plot Content:

— Karen doesn’t really want Setsuna to mess her up (oh darn). She just wants him to turn her wedding day into a debacle. That’s right, she’s about to get married. And because this island is practically devoid of people — we rarely get to see any of its inhabitants — Karen’s about to marry the police guy! He doesn’t seem too thrilled about the wedding either. Yeah, he better not. She’s still in high school.

— I don’t know what Japanese weddings are like, but this one seems so stiff and solemn. It’s supposed to be a union between two people and their families, is it not? And yet, Karen’s wedding feels like a funeral. But on the bright, look at all these extras! The island has people! It has people after all!

— I don’t really see why Setsuna has to crash the party. I know she wants to be banned from the island, but that seems like forcing a hard solution when all she simply had to do was just leave.

— Karen’s dad is predictably super pissed off, but luckily, her brother seems to be on her side.

— Karen is able to finally leave the island and look for her mother. Unfortunately, she quickly learns that the woman is dead. In fact, she died just a year ago.

— The story, however, refuses to stay depressed for very long. Out of nowhere, this girl starts get all handsy with Karen. She used to be Karen’s mother’s student, so I guess that means she must also adore Karen. But talk about tonal whiplash. I’m all sad for Karen, but now the anime is trying to be silly. Just seconds ago, the girl was on her knees, crying her heart out!

— Basically, Karen’s mother ran away to be a professor and continue her research. At the same time, however, the woman always regretted leaving her daughter behind. Eh. I just to know why didn’t she try and reach out to Karen in all those years?

— Oh yeah, the story won’t tell us what Karen’s mother was researching.

— Still, Karen is now happy again. Seriously. In a span of like five minutes, she goes from depressed to confused to pure content. It’s ridiculous. I also don’t think very highly of her mother. Pursuing your dreams is one thing. Abandoning your kid and claiming that you just didn’t have the “right” to remove her from the island is complete and utter bullshit. She may have been a brilliant professor. She may have truly loved Karen too. But she definitely was not a good mother.

— Nevertheless, that’s good enough for Karen. She’s ready to return to the crappy island. So much for escaping her terrible family’s legacy. We have one haremette sad story down, two more to go. And it looks as though Sara is up next.

— Like every visual novel adaptation ever, Island is an unfocused mess. Yeah, sure, we’ll solve the island’s mysteries one day, but what if we took a detour to solve Karen’s mommy issues?!

Harem Content:

— Not much to talk about in this rather plot-laden episode. Actual plot, too. Setsuna got to hold hands with Karen. He then impressed the girl by taking her to a conbini. Yep. That’s it.

— Back on the island, Sara has decided to become a maid on the interim. But don’t let her fool you! She may look happy on the surface, but there are raging storms in her heart! Right… yawn.

Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs Ep. 2

Plot Content:

— What plot? Every episode is the same. Kogarashi does something pervy, which pisses some of the other tenants. Just some. Mostly Sagiri. Rinse and repeat.

— Oh yeah, that monk from last week’s episode is still trying to exorcise Yuuna, and this time, he’s brought an army of rapey fellow monks with him. At first, they didn’t want to get rough with the ladies, but after the top monk tells them that they can do whatever they want with the girls, everyone’s all in. These monks have some wild fantasies.

— As a result, the girls band together to fend them off. Y’see, Yuuna isn’t only the special girl here.

— For instance, Sagiri is a demon-slaying ninja. Her special power appears to be the ability to transform into a spinning top that shoots out kunais. Uh, okay.

— As for Nonko, she is an oni with super strength. The drunker she gets, the stronger she gets.

— Yaya doesn’t fight. She just has a cat spirit that does everything for her.

— Last but not least, Chitose is a luck-based diety. She doesn’t fight either. She simply gives people good fortune. Look, if you just won the lottery, would you still be a monk? Would you still try to exorcise ghosts and demons? Yeah, didn’t think so. On the other hand, Chitose can only use the luck that you already have, so there’s a chance that those monks are boned for the rest of their lives.

— In the second half of the episode, Kogarashi does something pervy again, so Sagiri and Yaya want to evict him. At this boarding house, however, you can only evict a tenant if you can beat them in ping pong. Unfortunately for those two, Yuuna doesn’t want Kogarashi to go anywhere. Despite all their lewd encounters, she likes the guy already. Our hero and his roommate thus manage to win by tapping into the latter’s poltergeist powers. Basically, whenever she’s embarrassed, everything goes haywire. So by letting Kogarashi catch a glimpse of her panties, she is able to win them the deciding point and thus the match. Yep.

Harem Content:

— Boarding houses are dangerous. For instance, you can never get a good sleep. Sometimes, you’ll find yourself sleep-flying off into the sky. That’s no good.

— But that’s not even as bad as the night terrors! Imagine waking up to something heavy on your chest. You can’t breath! You can’t see! You’re suffocating!

— It’s not all sunshine and roses during the day either. At this boarding house, you’ll often find yourself being sexually assaulted by the other tenants.

— Even if the other tenants don’t touch you, they’ll still flash you their panties.

— Beware the wild animals. Whatever you do, do not touch them. They’ll transform into a naked catgirl, and before you know it, you’ll have a lawsuit on your hands.

— Finally, always watch your step. You wouldn’t want to trip and stick your hands where they don’t belong. Which brings us to…

Worst Harem of the Week:

Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs by a mile.

Your moment(s) of zen:

Just three this week:

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