Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Ep. 22: Don’t swallow

When creepy men stick random objects in your mouth, spit it out! 

— According to Wikipedia, this anime series is 26 episodes long. I was under the impression that I was almost done! Noooooooooooo~

— Aoi, Ginji, and the crane twins are still trying to figure out a menu that would delight the umi-bouzu. The ceremony calls for dishes made from ocean treasures, but that didn’t work 300 years ago. As a result, Ginji hilariously presents us a block of fancy beef. Look, I love fancy beef, but I’m just tickled by the idea of serving red meat on what was originally a seafood menu.

— By the way, the reason why Raiju is staying at Orio-ya is because he can tell us whether or not the toad’s Hourai gem branch is authentic . Unfortunately, he’s being a huge prat, so he’s refusing to say anything until he’s sufficiently entertained. Hideyoshi’s trying his best, but let’s just say he’s a little too special in the head. As a result, he eventually tries to ask for Aoi’s help. Ginji refuses to waste our heroine’s time, so he sends the crane twins instead. But c’mon, this is Aoi’s story, so there’s no way the crane twins are going to get the job done either.

— But let’s get back to the fancy beef. Aoi whips up some garlic rice to go with the sauteed beef, but I dunno, this looks a little overcooked to me. Plus, if the beef is so well-marbled, do you really want to mask its flavor with so much garlic?

— Ginji is so cringeworthy.

— Somehow, the topic turns to relationships, and both Aoi and Ginji confirm that they are single. Well, that’s plainly obvious to us, but I guess these characters are kinda clueless.

— Aoi then admits that she’s never really had a boyfriend. Instead, she admits that she was grandpa’s girl. Ew.

— Nevertheless, she did crush on someone in the past, and as you might have guessed, the mysterious ayakashi that had saved her life was her first love. Look, she met him once… for like what? Five minutes? And all he did was give her food. I can understand that she was grateful to be saved. I can understand loving someone in a platonic way because they are so nice to you. But romantic love? Sorry, but this makes no sense.

— Now, you might be thinking, “Yo, this is the perfect chance for Aoi to ask Ginji if he knows anything about that ayakashi!” You’re right! This is the perfect chance! And of course, Aoi never bothers to ask him. What a dork.

— Ginji then changes the subject to Odanna, but she’s insist that he’s still nothing more than the master of Tenjin-ya. Harsh but true. Odanna flirts with Aoi a lot, but that’s superficial. It’s also easy to brush his behavior off as playful and thus non-serious. As a result, not only does she not understand him, she doesn’t really know how he really feels about her. If he really wants to romance her, he will actually have to try and be serious for once. Maybe that’s the only way to get through the dense heroes and heroines that plague anime.

— To be fair to Odanna, however, Aoi often gets herself into too much trouble. Combined with the fact that the ogre is busy with his own set of responsibilities, they often have very little time to spend together.

— Hell, right now, she’s stranded in the southern region all because of some dumb ceremony. Sorry, but it is dumb. The idea that you have to appease some jerk ayakashi or else it’ll ruin the lives of everyone in the area is ridiculous. We should just slay the monster instead of entertaining it every 300 years.

— Anyways, Aoi is drunk after just a few sips of alcohol. She’s a lightweight for sure. Nevertheless, in her drunken state, she comes up with an idea: let’s take the fancy beef and make roast beef out of it! Really? You’re going to take something that high in quality and just roast it? Eh, whatever.

— The crane twins return to report that the thunder god didn’t want their food. I’m not surprised. We all know what he wants, and that is to toy with Aoi.

— The next day, Aoi is wandering through the halls of Orio-ya when she runs into Raiju being a big creepazoid. He starts going on and on about her late grandfather, too.

Aoi tries to make her escape, but unfortunately, it’s kind of hard to run away from a dude who can fly and teleport around. Also, he’s the thunder god, so I’m going to assume that he’s fast.

— Last but not least, the girl still has a phobia of thunder and lightning. It definitely doesn’t help that the weather has turned (probably thanks to Raiju as well).

— Raiju doesn’t understand why Aoi wants to help with the ceremony, because the ayakashi abducted her and forced her to work off her grandfather’s debts. Well, he’s not wrong…

— But at the end of the day, Raiju’s an ass. At first, he’s like, “Oooh, girl, I wanna try your food.” When she says, “Yeah, sure, I’ll whip something up,” he laughs in her face. He calls her gullible for thinking that he would actually want to eat her lower class human food. Uh, you asked. My bad for thinking that you were serious. His behavior just reminds me of this comic.

— He’s so bored with this world, so all he wants to do is mess things up. What a giant baby. But hey, there are rich, spoiled brats like him out in the real world, so I guess I’m not too surprised by his behavior. He also sounds like he was in love with Shiro.

— Anyways, Raiju eventually says that he literally wants to eat her. Nothing would delight him more. He tells Aoi that she’s only good for marrying or being eaten. Then while she screams in fear or whatever, he slips something into her mouth. Why did she swallow? Did the morsel instantly dissolve in her mouth or what? Hell, as soon as something touched her lips, she should have recoiled instantly. Even babies have better survival instincts than Aoi. Nothing bad happens for now, but you know Raiju is up to something nefarious.

— Eventually, Aoi tries to run away again, and now she’s back at the inn? Okay.

— This time, however, she runs into Ranmaru. Even though the dog continues to be a jerk to her, he does try and protect her from Raiju. After all, he hasn’t forgotten that the thunder god betrayed them 300 years ago.

— And now we’re back to cooking.

Ai’s even here to help!

— Before Aoi is allowed to feed the umi-bouzu, Ranmaru is going to have to give his approval. As a result, they’ve arranged a tasting dinner for the inugami as well as some of the other Orio-ya staff members.

— As soon as Aoi takes a sip of the alcohol, however, her mind is spirited away to a dreamlike field of flowers. It doesn’t take long, however, for the world around her to turn dark and scary. Back in the real world, her body has fallen unconsciousness. Needless to say, Raiju’s candy has taken its effect.

— Oh boy, who’s going to save Aoi this time? We haven’t seen Odanna in a while, so I’m gonna root for him. I don’t really like either of the two main love interests on this show, but between him and Ginji, I guess I gotta go with the ogre. Ginji’s a little too soft-spoken.

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