I think its hilarious u kids talking about ash lynx. u wouldnt say this stuff to him in person, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

Memes aside, I think the original mangaka must have been in love with her own creation, ’cause this is ridiculous. I can’t take this story seriously, because this guy is practically perfection personified. The fact that his IQ is over 200 is just a drop in the bucket.

He’s so badass!

And he’s also so goddamn sexy that he has no problems seducing his guards.

Y’know, only about 5% of the US population identifies itself as LGBT. Sure, that number might be on the lower end of the spectrum, because a lot of people are afraid to come out due to various factors. Having said that, maybe these men aren’t actually homosexual. Rather, they’re Ash-sexual. In fact, maybe we’re all Ash-sexuals. No one can resist the Ash Lynx.

Oh lord. Anyways, starting from the top.

— News of Ash’s apparent death send shockwaves across the world of organized crime. Even Yut-Lung seems to fall for it. But not Eiji. Eiji believes in Ash too much to accept that his best friend and partner has died. Hell, now you’ve gone and pissed off the normally soft-spoken kid.

— Even so, Yut-Lung tries to discourage Eiji from escaping, “There’s nowhere for you to go.” Uh, even assuming that Ash really is dead — and he’s not — you know where Eiji could go? Home. Seriously, what kind of dumb argument is Yut-Lung trying to make? Welp, the hero is dead! You may as well surrender your body and soul to us!

— Something’s off about Eiji’s arm here.

— You wanna know who else is fooled? Golzine! Well, kinda. He can’t quite believe it himself, so he has his own men go out and dig for information. Needless to say, it doesn’t take him long to find out that Ash is still alive.

— Max isn’t fooled either. Those smug FBI guys are actually CIA guys. They also let Max and his colleagues sit in on Ash’s supposed autopsy. But apparently, they simply found a really, really good lookalike. Uh, sure. This almost fools everybody, but Max knows better. In fact, he tells us that he sees Ash like his own son, and this is why he can tell fact from fiction. Hm.

— So what is the evil Dr. Mannerheim really doing with Ash? Well, of course, it all comes back to Banana Fish. Y’see, they’ve refined the drug, and as a result, it no longer makes you dangerously aggressive. Now the drug just makes you a docile servant! Unfortunately, it still makes you dumb. They tested the latest iteration on Alexis Dawson, and the old man is not doing so hot:

But this is where Ash comes in! He’s so smart, maybe he can… uh, withstand the stupefying effects of the drug? I probably missed a crucial step somewhere in this master plan. The point is, the good ol’ doctor wants a drug that makes you subservient but also intelligent. Uh… I mean, if you get to retain your intelligence, you probably wouldn’t also let yourself be enslaved. But whatever.

— Look at that dude on the left! What an absolute unit!

— These aren’t just evil scientists. They’re evil mad scientists. They have a room full of brains floating in vats. Even Shorter’s brain is here!

— Elsewhere, a couple of guys try to kidnap Eiji. I’m not sure if they belong to Golzine or if they’re just yet more examples of men being relentless and incorrigible sexual predators in this universe. Luckily, Sing comes to Eiji’s rescue…

— …with a spearhead to the temple!

— The focus returns to Ash, and ironically, his biggest enemy ends up being his savior. But don’t get it twisted, because Golzine still wants to torture Ash. He’s just not going to let his “son” go out like this. Hell, he even ends up giving Ash a pep talk. “Get it together, son! So that we may return to our cat and mouse game where I try to rape you and you try to ruin me!”

— It also sounds like Golzine is facing some pressure from the higher-ups, but eh… he’s still a powerful, influential man.

— Violence begets violence, basically:

The cycle of pain and suffering never ends.

— When Eiji finally recovers consciousness, Sing asks him flat-out if Ash had killed Shorter. Look, this shouldn’t be that difficult. Just tell the truth. The bad guys injected Shorter with Banana Fish, which made him go crazy. He was then ordered to kill Eiji. Ash simply protected his best friend, and there was no saving Shorter. But simple is too easy, and dumb fictional characters can’t do easy. So instead, Eiji just cries, “It’s my fault! It’s all my fault!” Get it together, man!

— Max and the rest of Ash’s allies discuss how they might break the kid out of the mental health center. Good thing the mental health center does a free tour once a month! Good thing the free tour for this month is the day after tomorrow! Good thing the free tour will bring the public close enough to valuable detainees like Ash! Wow, so convenient! Like c’mon, if you’re going to be evil, why would you expose yourself like this?

— Anyways, like I had already mentioned up top, Ash uses his seductive charms to break out of his cell. So we’ll see next week if he meets up with Max and Shunichi in order to escape or if he’ll just do everything himself again.

— Yeah, I doubt I would want to jerk off with velvet.