Another dull episode only redeemed by a pair of cute animals.

—  While exploring a new map, Kaede suddenly falls through a hidden hole. FFXI had plenty of that in its dungeons. It made exploration fun when you had time and patience and patently annoying when you didn’t. FFXIV goes ahead and streamlines everything, so it doesn’t even have dungeons out in the open world.

— It’s funny to see Kaede keep up with Risa by using Cover over and over. She’s not supposed to be able to match her friend’s speed, but the move instantly teleports you to your allies. Maybe it uses MP, so it’s balanced?

— What’s with this murderous jester with a troll club though?

— Oh, apparently Kaede’s trick makes her take double damage, but lemme guess, she still doesn’t take any damage anyways!

— So they’re in an event where they have to compete against other players for medals. By defeating the murderous jester, they get two. So far, this MMO has a whole lot of exploration but not a whole lot of lore. In fact, there has been absolutely none. Maybe it’s there, but our girls just don’t care? I mean, I personally would like to know why there’s a dungeon underground, and why there’s a murderous jester in it. But the upside to cutting lore out completely is that the anime won’t trip over its own feet by giving us sleep-inducing amounts of exposition.

— The dude in red is really the only male character shown in the OP and he doesn’t look very cool, so I guess this show is basically cute girls play an MMO.

— Chill out, Risa.

— Another boss fight? Yawn, sounds exciting… it looks like some legendary pokemon.

— On the plus side, the girls aren’t steamrolling over the Articuno. On the bad side, meh. That’s honestly my reaction to this episode so far. Because they’re just playing for fun, none of this is very interesting. We’re not trying to save a nearby village. We’re not trying to find a super rare ingredient to make an antidote that might save someone. We’re not really doing anything but just having fun. If they were actual streamers, I wouldn’t watch them.

— As an aside, I’m kind of surprised that this MMO doesn’t give you any indication of what you’re about to face. No recommended levels or warnings. If you’re not the overpowered shield heroine, then I guess you just go into a fight blind and get owned.

— God, I wish she could use that ability without having to scream its name. COVER MOVE! COVER MOVE! COVER MOVE! But that’s a huge problem with Japanese games in general (especially the Tales of franchise). Every single goddamn move has to be called out.

— Why did Articuno suddenly turn into Dark Shadow from My Hero Academia?

— The first time Kaede used Hydra on the boss, it barely did any damage. This time, the boss goes down. Why? Beats me!

— I’d laugh so hard if they still only get two medals out of this.

— In addition to medals (only five for all that work), the girls get a piece of rare crafting material. FFXI did this a lot, and it’s not a bad idea. If you are always able to find rare equipment from boss fights and dungeons, then no one would need the services of crafters.

— They also get a couple of eggs. I hope those hatch into a pair of mounts instead of just pets that follow you. FFXIV has a lot of boss fights that drop mounts, but they are pretty rare. You have people doing these fights for hours just to get a mount. It keeps players playing, but I’m too old for that shit. I got my fat cat mount from the cash shop and that’s good enough for me.

— The sad thing is that if this hadn’t been an anime about cute girls playing an MMO, you know those two eggs would turn into waifus for the hero’s harem.

— So who are these chumps? Administrators? Developers? Both? They at least admit to being dicks. No one was supposed to beat Articuno, but our girls somehow did it. Looks like they need more nerfs.

— Why put in a boss encounter that is impossible? You should ask Square Enix about that. They swore up and down that Absolute Virtue, the superboss from the Chains of Promathia expansion, was totally beatable back when it was first added to the game. So a guild threw themselves at this boss for an ungodly 18 straight hours. Some players ended up puking as a result. Man, I don’t even know who to blame. Sure, SE shouldn’t have created such a difficult boss. And back in 2008, I definitely had the “hardcore” raiding mentality. But here’s the thing: I still wouldn’t have fought a boss for eighteen fucking hours. You’re just stupid if you do that to yourself.

— These guys don’t want Kaede to break the game any further. Y’know what else they could do? Just hire her as a playtester. She’s perfect for QA! Too bad it pays like shit.

— I have no idea why our girl is so hesitant to PvP when they just beat a raid boss. Like does she honestly think the average player can give them trouble?

— Lots of MMO players share Risa’s mentality. Lots of them feel that an MMO just isn’t fun without PvP. On the other hand, I just think it’s the icing on the cake. It’s nice to have, but if I really want a test of skill, there are better games out there to sate my hunger.

— Wow, these eggs hatched quick. I thought we’d have to wait another episode to see the fruits of the girls’ labor.

— Cute, but that’s no mount… yet.

— This fox definitely would’ve been a hot, sexy waifu in a show like Shield Hero.

— So if Articuno was never supposed to be beaten, did they create these pets that no one was never supposed to own? What’s the point of that?

— At the end of the episode, the sixth-place contestant from the last event challenges our girls to a fight. First, we already saw the girls beat an “impossible” boss, so what can this girl do? She was sixth! Second, she’s in the OP, so just kiss and be friends already.