Thursday Leftovers Week 10: Inauthentic

Oh no, Seigi has fallen ill! And he just flew here from Japan, a high risk country! You know what that means! In all seriousness, it’s difficult to concentrate on trivial matters during a global pandemic, but I suppose I can’t sit here and just worry for twenty-four straight hours. So you know what that means: it’s time to self-quarantine in the best interest of society and watch some bad anime. Finally, being a homebody is paying off!

Hatena Illusion Ep. 9

“Nameless Lover” is the name of Ema’s artifact, because it’s all she has left of her unknown parents. She wouldn’t give it up even to Maeve, so the latter had no choice but to take the girl into the family. So why then would Ema go and risk something so important for these children? Why would she put her dearest artifact on the line just so Hatena can continue playing phantom thief? After all, the alternative isn’t that bad. They simply have to move out and focus on being kids… which is what they are. For Christ’s sake, they’re still in goddamn middle school. Ema claims she knew that the kids wouldn’t fail in their retest, but they couldn’t prevent the artifact from breaking. It all works out in the end because Yumemi discovers she can fix the brooch, but still, this is needlessly reckless of everyone involved. The obvious answer is that Ema really, really cares about the two sisters (and I guess Makoto to an extent). Her parents risked everything for her, and now she’s paying it forward. More importantly, she’s trying to show them what they’re truly up against. They’re not just stealing back artifacts willy-nilly. These artifacts have value — sentimental value. These artifacts mean something to someone. But like a lot of shows, everything is rushed and thus half-assed in Hatena Illusion. As a result, the grand payoff is never properly earned.

For instance, there’s this huge conflict between Maeve and her family that we never get to directly observe. It is only mentioned by the show’s characters. Everyone fears this matriarch, but again, it is only something that is mentioned. We still don’t know what Hatena’s grandmother actually looks like. Maeve herself is on this super important mission, but we never see for ourselves what she’s actually doing out there. We just have to assume that she’s doing the right thing. The kids go from being utterly useless in combat to winning Ema’s artifact back without too many scratches. Just mostly bad animation and Makoto looking derpy! Sure, Jeeves put them through his strenuous training program, but again, it’s something that we don’t really get to see. You just have to trust that their training went as well as it could. And finally, we get to the maid with a giant heart. She believes in these kids. She’d do anything for these kids… even though she’s still a kid herself. But truth be told, there aren’t any particularly poignant moments between her and the two sisters. Nevertheless, this episode tries to be a tearjerker. It just doesn’t add up.

Oh well, that’s yet another conflict down. What’s next? C’mon, don’t tell me the next villain is gonna be this guy all because Makoto’s stupid trick impressed that weird magician.

Housekishou Richard-shi no Nazo Kantei Ep. 10

Richard coming in hot with that mad babushka energy. Anyways, this episode feels like the finale, but we still have two episodes left. Hmmm…. For some bizarre reason, it’s perfectly okay for Richard to elope with not just a Japanese person, but also a Japanese man. As a result, Seigi plays along in order to get close to the diamond. Then once he’s within reach of the diamond, he plans to shatter the gem and thus free Richard from his burdens… but that’s the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. Luckily, the damn gemstone was just a sapphire. Still an exorbitantly expensive sapphire that I would never waste my money on, but a sapphire nonetheless. As a result, it doesn’t break and Seigi isn’t on the hook for a major crime. Do you know what would happen to you if you destroy something that is worth that much money?

Then again, Seigi is Japanese. A Japanese man once murdered and cannibalized a Dutch woman, and through a series of ridiculous events, ended up walking free. But I’m getting off topic and being somewhat unfair as it would be particularly difficult for Seigi to claim insanity in this scenario. I won’t budge from my original position, though; I still think it was incredibly foolish of him to try and pull his little stunt. In any case, we get more queerbaiting in this week’s episode. For example, Seigi ends up saying a bunch of lines that few platonic friends would ever say. C’mon, man, that’s lover stuff. And near the end of the episode, Richard re-iterates that he wants nothing more than to see his friend happy. This is immediately followed by the two men exchanging gemstones. Seigi gets the white sapphire, and in return, Richard gets Seigi’s grandmother’s beloved ring. Dude, you may as well have gotten down on one knee and proposed to the man.

Anyways, after yet another lame resolution, I’m pretty over this show. I won’t even get into the explanation for the existence of the white sapphire. I honestly don’t care about it nor Richard’s family drama. The series isn’t quite over, but I wanna do a moratorium on it already. The characters are lifeless, and the “mysteries” are even more dull. Last but not least, I didn’t really learn anything particularly interesting about gemstones. The anime merely reinforces a long-held belief that they are pointless. These people are spending gobs of money on what amounts to nothing more than pretty rocks and silly superstitions. One last thing…

Richard, please… don’t go shattering fujoshi dreams.

Alright, stay safe out there, you guys. Don’t go licking doorknobs.

Please refrain from posting spoilers or using derogatory language. Basically, don't be an asshole.

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