Plunderer Ep. 13: Shine Get!

From Tower of God to Plunderer, I have some terrible luck.

— New week, new episode, same dumb nonsense.

This is considered a long skirt? Wow. We truly are in bizarro-land. I also like how the military school uniform has a boob window. Girls also gotta wear pink. Otherwise, I might mistake them for a boy!

— Anyways, all the cool kids are in Class A, and Class A will be taught by none other than the big, bad baddie himself. You can’t trust anyone who greets you without even opening their eyes.

— Schmelman proceeds to explain what is essentially the Count system. Everyone starts out with two of these stars. If you gather enough stars, you will graduate and have tons of food for you and your family! And if you don’t have any stars for three straight days, you get expelled. Licht generously gets no stars, because Schmelman wants to turn the kid into a killing machine… which I assume he was successful at accomplishing in the original timeline. But hey, this is a whole new one, so who knows!

— Naturally, Hina is worried to death about Licht getting expelled, but um… she could always give him one of hers? Plus, if the goal is to protect Licht, then why would she want him to stay enrolled in this military school? No, no, I understand all that nonsense about how your family needs food, so you gotta become a soldier. But the Licht from her timeline was literally in tears about not wanting to take a life. If he stays here, wouldn’t that increase the chances of him becoming the same monster again? Is anyone gonna sit down and think this through? I’m not saying that I’m right. Maybe keeping Licht in school is the right thing to do. But what I have a problem with is nobody even taking the time to even consider what Nana wanted from them when she sent them back in time.

— We also learn that Licht is only here to try and pull his buddy Tokikaze out of school. Apparently, the latter has a grandma who is worried sick about him potentially becoming a soldier. Can’t say I would blame her. I don’t have fond thoughts about the military either.

— Oh no, the tone of the anime is getting too serious! Quick, show me some bobs and vagene!

— So, uh, does Schmelman have a hard-on for Licht or what? I mean, why does he still have that twig from last week’s episode? Does he just retreat to his office and play with it all day?

— There’s also the hilarious fact that Hina is doing her best to protect a remorseless peeping tom.

— The next day, a good chunk of Class A discovers that their stars have been stolen. Um, if they are so important — they literally determine whether or not you get to eat — why would you keep them in your locker?

— They all decide to blame Licht, ’cause golly, who else would steal the stars? Oh man, certainly no one else would have any incentive to steal those stars. Sigh, these characters are all idiots. And when everyone is dumb, it makes me wonder if the author is also dumb.

— Case in point, Hina jumps to Licht’s defense by offering up the dumbest argument: “He might be a borderline criminal pervert who looks up skirts and touches thighs….” Borderline? Borderline?!

— Well, it doesn’t take long before the true culprit is revealed to us… not that he was hiding himself or anything. Just look at the guy blatantly bullying people in the hallway. Like every anime ever, the kids are left to fend for themselves. Japanese schools are basically the Hunger Games.

— Good lord, this dude is so ugly. What’s with his eyes? Is he even human?

Fantastic animation. Just amazing. Love the consistency in these characters. Love it even more that the hallway has magically expanded in size.

— Did I say fantastic? I meant brilliant. Eat your heart out, KyoAni.

— We get yet another sob story about Tokikaze’s grandmother, but I don’t care. All you need to know is that Tokikaze is coerced into handing his stars over. It’s okay, though! The kids proceed to help each other out by sharing their stars. B-b-but that’s socialism!

— Towards the end of the day, the ugly bastard (I don’t even wanna learn his name) is on his way to graduate when Licht appears out of nowhere and “begs” him to hand back the stars. I say “beg” because it’s pretty blatantly obvious what our hero is doing. Just look at his right hand.

— But of course, no one else catches on. As a result, we get a stare-down between Jail and the ugly bastard. Jail willingly gave up his stars just so he can stand outside the school gates and kick the ugly bastard’s ass. These two are about to start fighting when the ugly bastard discovers that his stars have been replaced with toy frogs. No, really.

— So just like that, we get a happy ending…? Yay, we get to become murderous soldiers…?

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