Tell and not show seems to be this show’s enduring philosophy.
— In the cold opening, Erwin asks the girls how Operation Concubine Seduction is going. These barely teenagers are apparently more than happy to discuss this sort of thing over breakfast. Yeah, we’re gonna bang your master, Erwin.
— Elise soon crashes the party, because she would like to learn more about her future husband. Normally, asking his closest friends would the right course of action. But guess what? These kids barely know Wendelin all that well either. They haven’t actually done a thing with our boy hero. I thought the whole point of going to adventure school was to, y’know, go on adventures. Imagine forming a party, then just telling your new friends to chill in a mansion.
— But here’s where it starts. Remember how I said Elise was here to find out more about Wendelin? Well, we don’t actually get to see this conversation play out. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see what Erwin, Iina, and Louise has to say about the kid? Guess not.
— Right after the OP, the king wants our boy hero to slay a dragon. Why? ‘Cause the kingdom needs to expand in order to combat food shortage, and murdering local fauna appears to be the only option. Is there no chance of co-existence? I guess not. Let’s just invade another species’ home and kill them.
— Like with most species, it’s not like the dragon’s existence is completely useless. We’re later told that the dragon’s presence is the only thing keeping nearby monsters in check. And guess what? If our hero slays the dragon, then he’s gonna have to murder all those monsters too. Not by himself, thankfully. He’ll have a ragtag army of glory-seekers to help him.
— I can’t help but wonder if all this magic could be used to help solve crises like a food shortage. Maybe someone should look into that. Or should we just assume that this is impossible? Ah well, back to making miso!
— Wendelin will be teamed up with this dork. We still haven’t seen him go on an adventure with his classmates, but there’s no helping it this time. Apparently, only mages can even go near a dragon.
— Technically, his friends still get to help out. Erwin gets the honor of leading the army while they wait for the dragon to be defeated. Even Elise is here, because they’re going to need lots of healers.
— Alright, it’s time to murder a poor dragon in cold blood, and this is the one thing that we do get to see in this episode. Look at that amazing animation.
— But now that the dragon is dead, the hordes of monsters will attack! Look, look! Can you see them? Can ya? Nope, you can’t. All you get are action lines around a cliff.
— Before you know it, Elise has a tent full of injured soldiers to heal. Obviously, they got hurt in battle. But do we actually get to see any of the fighting? Nope.
— We saw Erwin leading the army earlier, but he’s currently nowhere to be found. Iina and Louise are also here, but I’ve no clue what they’re up to either. These details just aren’t important!
— As the casualties mount, Elise buries her face in her hands. She’s worried sick over her fiancée. I guess she already cares about him deeply! When it comes to developing a relationship, one episode is really all that it takes.
— This is an odd situation. We were told that the dragon alone kept these monsters in check. Said dragon was then easily defeated by two mages. Brantag was present, but it didn’t look like he really did anything. All of a sudden, a horde of monsters — those same monsters that the dragon had handled all by its lonesome — is now pushing our mages and their army to their limits. Why were the monsters scared of the dragon in the first place? I guess it’s a rock-paper-scissors situation; mages > dragon > hordes of monsters > mages. But if that’s the case, why not, y’know, show this to us? Instead, we don’t actually get to see how and why our mages are struggling.
— And once again, before you know it, the army is victorious! I didn’t get to see anything! Where was the fighting? You’re telling me that they put down hordes of monsters all offscreen?
— But it’s okay, because who actually cares about storytelling? Just give me a summary of what actually happens. I totally enjoy reading episode summaries on Wikipedia more than actually watching the damn show.
— Elise hears that Wendelin has an injury, so she rushes out of the gates to see her dear fiancée. He’s just fine, though. I guess the story needs to hammer home the fact that she really, really cares.
— Afterwards, the couple has a moment where she can barely tell him what’s on her mind. She kinda grabs one of his sleeves and mutters something about how she understands that he’s not a hero. I guess him putting on a brave face despite not feeling like a hero is what seals the deal for her. Pink heart acquired. Time to give her the blue feather.
— Oh, Klimt is Elise’s uncle. Okay. Cool detail, bro.
— In the aftermath, Wendelin has been promoted to baron, but again, it’s not something that we get to see.
— Thanks to some political shenanigans, our boy hero is going to have to chill in the capital for the time being. But of course, we don’t actually get to see any of said shenanigans. All we know is that he’s here to stay, and so is his party. So much for adventure school! That was short-lived! Did he even learn anything while he was there?
— Wendelin and Elise aren’t even old enough to get married (just engaged for now), but they’re already talking about him acquiring concubines. Dude, chill.
— Our hero’s like some kind of greedy lil’ hobbit. Yeah, he has a future waifu, but what about a second one? Thirdsies? Afternoon waifu to go with tea?
— Needless to say, our 12-year-old fantasy priestess has no problems with her future husband getting close to and banging other chicks. Of course she wouldn’t.
— Judging from the messages I got on Twitter and Facebook, however, this is where some of my readers will go:
‘Cause, y’know, that’s all that matters in life.
— Needless to say, the girls are over the moon with Elise’s approval. The problem is that neither Iina or Louise even know Wendelin all that well (ho ho ho). Hell, they’ve barely even spent any time with him. And if they have, we certainly didn’t get to see any of it. Either way, they’re only in this to take advantage of his wealth and status. There’s a term for this… gold… gold di-…. ah, I just can’t remember.
— But hey, our boy hero with the mental age of a salaryman now gets to dream about banging his teenage waifus, so it’s a win-win. Just look at that shit-eating face of his.