Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai S2 Ep. 9: Three more silly stories

You know the drill.

— It turns out that the straitlaced Miko has a rather overactive imagination. Maybe that’s just how it is. The more tightly wound you are, the more likely it is that you might entertain some rather… peculiar thoughts.

— In her wildest dreams, she’s ironically the one who’s trying to get the student council to ease up. Needless to say, this is far from the case.

The Peanuts? Huh?

— If Kobachi feels this way, maybe she should just join the student council. I doubt it’s too late.

— Apparently, Miko had received a heartfelt message from someone when she was in the pits at one time in her life. The gesture touched her so much that she went and preserved the flower as a bookmark. She even considers it an act of pure love (though this pop culture reference is anything but pure). Wouldn’t it be funny if the message ended up being from someone she despises like Yu? He seems like the dork who would pull that sort of thing anyway. Y’know, anime characters that like to jump on the grenade for everyone’s sake? Except, of course, there are very few school drama on this earth that is as serious as an actual grenade. That’s why I kinda dislike characters with a propensity to play the sacrificial lamb or martyr. They always go too far for way too little. Hachiman from Oregairu is the biggest offender, and honestly, Yu’s got a bit of that in him. He lays the cynical attitude on thick if only to hide his true feelings from the world.

— Anyways, Kobachi tries to convince Miko that perhaps she’s overreacting to perfectly innocent situations, but this only makes her swing too far in the other direction. Rather than Miyuki being the pervert, she now thinks that Kaguya is a devilish schemer-slash-femdom. Well, some men are into that sort of thing. Have you guys heard of findom? Good lord, way to destroy your livelihood just to get your rocks off.

— In the end, Miko tries to confront Kaguya, but they both just misunderstand each other. Ah, the troubles of communication…

— In the second third of the episode, Kaguya has been avoiding Miyuki ever since she was diagnosed with lovesickness. So what does Ai suggest? Finding a ritual that’ll help calm her down in sticky situations.

— As a result, Kaguya starts “Voguing.” Ai’s having a laugh, isn’t she?

— Nevertheless, her master discovers that simply cupping her left cheek with her right hand will instantly calm her down. Hm. Maybe it’s something her mother used to do. Oh well, time to put the technique to the test!

— Nothing like a battle of love.

— Really? Kaguya is a black belt? When did this happen? Why does she look so frail?

— Miyuki nearly gets a flawless victory, but that’s only because Kaguya was holding back. All she has to do is throw him once, and just like that, the match is over. I feel for him. I hate fighting against grapplers, too. They’re so annoying to deal with.

— Finally, we get to Yu, who foolishly joined the cheerleading club because he thought it would make him into a normie. I mean, it still can. He just has to fake it at the beginning, and eventually, the normie way will worm itself into his heart. Or he could just sit there and mope. If you don’t put in the token effort, then it’s really you who’s the problem.

— Still, one of the girl reaches out to him. She better be careful, though. Guys like Yu tend to fall in love with the first girl who shows him any kindness. Kaguya is only immune from this because she legitimately strikes fear into his heart.

— The club wants to cross-dress for an upcoming event. Yu thinks he’s in a pickle, because he mistakenly believes that he doesn’t have any female friends. But I mean, c’mon, between these three choices, the answer is obvious, isn’t it? Kaguya has been looking out for him ever since he joined the student council. She’s not gonna stop now.

— Still, he’s pretty much taller than all of the three girls. There’s no way he could actually fit in their uniforms, right?

— Welp, I’m wrong. He does. I like how Miko just walks in and walks right back out. Kinda like that Grandpa Simpson gif.

— The guy is channeling some serious Dean Pelton energy with this statement.

— Yu inadvertently suggests that Kaguya is flat-chested, so she quickly gets her revenge. But other than that, the story ends on a “to be continued” note. Well, that’s kind of an unsatisfying conclusion to the episode. Oh well.

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