Kanojo, Okarishimasu Ep. 3: Early beach episode

Don’t mind me. I’m just here to rag on Kazuya.

— Mami was gonna invite Kazuya over to her place, but our “hero” ends up being cockblocked by her younger brother. He still won’t give up, though.

Calm down, hornball.

— Like in previous episodes, all he does is stare lecherously at Mami, but I’m supposed to believe that he’s fallen deeply in love with her. In reality, he pretty much just latched himself to the first pretty girl to show him any attention, and he now mistakes it for love. All he talks about is her looks.

This is kinda funny coming from Mami. I mean, they’re both horrible people. Case in point, Mami starts badmouthing Chizuru. Kazuya actually stands up for his rental girlfriend, but he then starts to worry that doing the right thing might have cost him a chance in Mami’s pants. Aww, poor baby can’t get laid.

— Afterwards, Kazuya tries to apologize for Chizuru, but I kinda hate how he does it. Now, now,  you’re probably thinking, “You just have it out for this guy.” You’re right! I despise guys like Kazuya! But seriously, isn’t it annoying when people apologize by talking shit about themselves? It feels… manipulative. Instead of honest contrition, they’re suddenly making the apology all about them. If you’re a softie (like Chizuru), you can’t help but then comfort the person who has wronged you!

— Naturally, the sad sack act works on Chizuru, so she tries to comfort him. It’s worked on her before, so why would it be any different now! She even offers to extend their professional relationship when (again) she should just be cutting him off. Plus, her platitudes might make sense with anyone other than Kazuya. He’s not hung up on Mami, because he cares about her as a person, though. He just wants to bang her.

This guy doesn’t have a job, right? I thought his dad was gonna cut him off.

— Anyways, Kazuya and his friends are headed to the beach. On the way there, however, his buddy tells him to make things right with Chizuru. Kazuya is annoyed, but I don’t think he has any right to be. The reason why his buddy “doesn’t know anything” is because he’s a liar. Like what does he expect? “Ugh, I totally misled you, but you should still know better!!!”

Calm down, hornball.

Not surprisingly, Mami doesn’t have the purest intentions.

— It’s a small world, so Chizuru also ends up going to the beach with her friends. They’re headed to the same beach, too. But hey, I’ve never been to Japan. Maybe Shimoda is the only place to go.

— Even sand-encrusted ass gets this hornball going.

— Meanwhile, Mami is pulling out all of the big guns to try and break Kazuya and Chizuru up. Who’s Maya? Oh, just their hypothetical daughter. Who picks out baby names in a one-month relationship? These dorks, apparently. Still, her emotionally manipulative tactics work on Kazuya, so he’s about to spill the beans about him and Chizuru. Unfortunately, he’s cut short when his rental girlfriend makes a sudden appearance.

— Apparently, this is also a small beach, so Chizuru and her friends run into Kazuya’s group. But like before, she’s the Clark Kent of rental girlfriends. Just slap on some glasses and braid her hair, and no one will recognize her.

— Then to make matters worse, Kazuya and Chizuru end up going to the same restroom. One island nation, one beach… one fucking restroom? Are you kidding me?

— Still, Kazuya is emboldened by Mami’s obvious lies, so he already assumes that they’ll get back together. As a result, he has to tie up some loose ends with Chizuru. I just don’t think being arrogant about it is a good idea. I mean, c’mon, he needed to rent a girlfriend. He has no business getting cocky in the first place.

— Sadly, the two of them spend too much time talking, so Kazuya’s friends come looking for him. Unable to escape, Chizuru has no choice but to turn into her rental girlfriend self and hang out with them. So uh, what about her friends? Won’t they be worried that she just suddenly disappeared?

— Now that Chizuru is here, Mami must feel as though she has to play her best card. So when nobody’s looking, she pulls Kazuya behind a conveniently large rock and kisses him. I dunno, I think they kinda deserve each other. They’re both kinda terrible people. Usually, the male lead has some redeemable qualities, but we’re three episodes in and I still can’t spot anything decent about this guy. I guess he loves his grandmother, but I mean… aren’t you supposed to?

Please refrain from posting spoilers or using derogatory language. Basically, don't be an asshole.

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