Judging from the synopsis alone, The Exiled Heavy Knight Knows How to Game the System has all the hallmarks of being a complete throwaway. Yet another isekai, yet another hero who is underestimated because he gets saddled with a seemingly useless job (heavy knight, this time), so on and so forth. And yet, the animation quality is so lavish. Not only that, the voice actors driving this story are no slouches either. The main character has played other big roles such as Jinshi in The Apothecary Diaries. Meanwhile, his female counterpart is Shion Wakayama. The first few minutes of the first episode drops you immediately into the thick of the action without any context whatsoever. Just a bunch of unfamiliar faces engaging in high-octane combat over and over. Even when there isn’t action, we get all these dutch angles. Sure, this Film 101 technique is hardly mind-blowing, but it’s one hell of a step up from your average bread-and-butter isekai. I mean, just look at the shadows here. I would expect this from Madhouse or KyoAni, not… wait, who makes this show again? To put it bluntly, there’s a lot of money in this generic ass bitch of an anime.
Too bad the story itself isn’t really anything special. Our guy is reincarnated into his favorite VR game (yawn) and gets his favorite class, but in this fantasy setting, the heavy knight is considered complete shit, so his father literally backhands the kid so hard as to draw blood (zzz…). Yeah, yeah, yeah, just get to the part where they literally exile their own flesh and blood over a fucking job class. Get to the part where Elymas knows the game inside and out, so he’s going to crush all of his enemies, get all the hot babes, acquire all the land and riches, humiliate his family for doubting him, blah blah blah. Can we just skip the formalities already? We all know what these shows are all about.
But no, we’re going to draw this out, so in enters the hot babe. In fact, she breasted boobily into the crowd, eventually titting her way to the front in order to find out what job class she will be assigned. In case you’re out of the loop, I’m invoking a meme. But I digress. Unfortunately, the hot babe is from the branch family, but incest has never stopped anime before. Yes, we saw her fighting the protagonist earlier, but hey, enemies to lovers! Anyway, her name is Malice — what were her parents thinking? — and she predictably gets the coveted job class: master swordsman. Not without all the salacious angles, of course. And just like that, the tables have turned. Look at me, look at me! I’m the heir to the family now!
The thing that always gets me is the main character acting shocked and surprised. Bro, you just told me you were isekai’d into this world. That’s not your real father. You have no emotional attachment to this family. In fact, what about your actual family? Naturally, isekai protagonists aren’t real people with real feelings; they almost never give two shits about the life they leave behind. They’re just here to live out their power fantasies.
The rest of the episode is just as perfunctory. Here’s our protagonist going through his status screens and abilities. Yes, yes, please explain to me what a skill tree is. Sure, not everyone is familiar with RPG mechanics, but don’t you think you should just let the audience take care of themselves? If they’re confused, they should do their own research to better understand the media they’re consuming. But we don’t trust people to do anything for themselves anymore. We have to hand-feed them every little piece of information as if they’re idiots (no wonder AI use is on the rise among children). Fuck, let the audience figure things out for themselves through contextual clues. Don’t bog down the pacing of your opening episode with this expository nonsense while the protagonist pogchamps over menu screens. But I’m starting to rant…
…so here are scenes of a generic fantasy city (oddly rendered in 3D) full of generic fantasy people. I just woke up and I already want to crawl back into bed. We’re eventually introduced to Elymas’s future partner-in-crime, a… harlequin? Jester girl? It’s Shion Wakayama doing her squeakiest voice to date. This isn’t really a hot babe, though — especially when you compare her to other women who continue to breast boobily all over the boobiful place. She looks like a little kid, but… sigh, that has never stopped anime before. What’s clear, however, is that clown child is also underestimated by everyone around her, so I guess that’s what makes her ideal for Elymas. Just two outcasts surprising everyone with their unique skills!
In the end, I was mildly surprised that Elymas and his future waifu have yet to cross paths. Instead, we see him fighting… uh, frogs. Well, I guess that’s fitting. The first thing you do in Final Fantasy XIV is killing squirrels and moles. Still, it makes the protagonist look all the more funny, because he’s decked from head to toe in spiffy-looking equipment (which is oddly missing protection for his vulnerable stomach). It’s like pulling up to a starter zone in raid gear¹. On the one hand, the story wants to start out at rock bottom. We’re literally starting at level one — hence the first battle being against a bunch of harmless-looking frogs. But on the other hand, Elymas still has to look like an MMO veteran who has seen his fair share of battles. The action has to be completely over-the-top despite us fighting frogs. It’s incongruent.
But that’s the first episode. I can’t see this show having enough substance for a dedicated post every week, so it’ll likely end up on the “Everything else” trash dump. Still, I was mildly entertained by the ridiculous contrast between the production values and the bog standard premise.
¹The thing is, Elymas doesn’t even look that heavy. When I think heavy knight, I think fucking Havel from Dark Souls. I think Giant Dad memes. Unga bunga shit, y’know? This ain’t heavy armor. Even his sword looks kinda dinky. Elymas looks like a protagonist lifted straight out of the Tales of… JRPG series.