Full disclosure: I went into Chainsmoker Cat already predisposed to disliking the main character, because smoking is a disgusting habit. Plus, I grew up with a chainsmoker for the first few formative years of my life. It got so bad, I needed an inhaler. Couldn’t do shit in P.E. with the rest of the kids for a long while, which had its own set of consequences I don’t want to get into. Thankfully, that deadbeat father of mine eventually left, I got healthier, and eventually stopped needing an inhaler as I got older. Point is, even if you don’t care about your own health, you should at least give a damn about the people around you. Don’t be so selfish. But that’s not this show’s primary problem. Oh no, our chainsmoking cat has much bigger issues.

Do you like gross out humor? Do you like poop jokes after poop jokes? Do you often scream “I can fix her!” whenever a tragically flawed woman shows up? Boy, have I got a catgirl for you. Yaniko’s apartment is a complete pigsty. She can’t keep a steady job because of… cigarettes? We’re not even talking meth or crack — y’know, the really hard shit that fucks your life up. Yaniko is literally dysfunctional over cigarettes. I hate the damn things, but ruining your life over them is pretty pathetic. Our catgirl is just straight up nasty; she even hates bathing! Cats love to clean themselves!

Naturally, Yaniko hits rock bottom and tearfully tells her sister that she wants to go clean. But like most addicts, she’s right back at it again in the very next scene. Yaniko is the poster child for “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you–” …no, no, you can’t keep your damn best, ’cause it probably ain’t much better. I don’t think I even wanna watch this show casually. And if you need to finger a culprit, it’s the poop jokes. I mean, what are we doing? I grew out of that shit (pun intended) by middle school.

But that’s not even the most pathetic display I saw today. Rather, it was all the comments I saw from viewers. “Is this uncensored? Is this the uncensored version?!” Ah yes, we have to preserve the artistic integrity of a catgirl dumping pure liquid shit from her ass.

Next, I checked out Dara-san of Reiwa. It’s described as a comedy horror, but I’m not really sure either label fits. Y’see, the anime is about two siblings befriending a lamia-shaped mountain god. The spirit has a rather tragic story. For whatever reason that I’m sure they’ll reveal much later in the series, her sister betrayed her and led villagers to chop her up. Sounds pretty brutal, right? Well, she got her revenge at some point, so she’s hardly the curse-slingin’ god nowadays. Instead, she just hangs out with her boobs out — literally with nips and areola for all to see. Granted, nudity isn’t a big deal elsewhere like it is in the US (we’re big prudes), but it’s still strange to see compared to your average anime series.

So what exactly is this show shooting for? From the OP and ED, it looks like Dara’ll bond with the siblings. She might even serve as a maternal figure in their lives. At the same time, however, we also see Dara dressed up in all these ill-fitting outfits. Are we tryin’ to be wholesome or are we goonin‘? Both? You can’t do both. That’d be weird for a surrogate mother. But even if you can get past that hurdle, the story doesn’t exactly hook you in. For the rest of the episode, the siblings wants to know more about Dara, so she happily explains her nature to them. But to be quite honest with you, I started to drone her out, especially when they got into the distinction between sealing and binding a god. I don’t care about this shit, man. To put it bluntly, I have no interest in continuing this show even on a casual level.

Oh yeah, the two siblings might seem like your average brother-sister pair at first, but the brother looks like a girl and the sister looks like a boy. Is there a purpose to this other than to be quirky and unique?

Last but not least, we have Kaiju Girl Caramelise. Whenever Kuroe starts feeling lovey-dovey, her body starts to transform. She starts to become a kaiju, ’cause… well, she is one. She simply never completed the transformation, because up until recently, she’s never been in love love. Just a small crush in her past, which ended badly. Predictably, Kuroe’s bizarre condition keeps others away, and her mom isn’t much help. In fact, her mom might have an unhealthy mindset. But the hot, popular guy — so hot that he can be a model — seemingly starts paying attention to Kuroe out of nowhere (in reality, he has been quietly observing her for a while). And like all hot, popular guys in anime, he starts invading her space and touching her without any self-awareness. Nevertheless, our girl eventually falls for his charms and goes full kaiju.

It’s all metaphorical, isn’t it? When Kuroe walks down a hallway, we literally hear her classmates talk about how “[they] need plastic surgery so bad,” lamenting their breast size, etc. The show isn’t being subtle about it. Even Arata, her love interest, used to be fat. The world around Kuroe is all about conventional beauty, which she is definitely not. Her transformation is just a stand-in for her body dysmorphia. If she ever wants to find true love, however, she’ll have to be brave, learn to love herself, and bare everything for Arata to see. After all, she can’t keep hiding her true self forever. It’s unsustainable. Imagine their wedding night if she could somehow pull the wool over his eyes the entire time.

In a way, this is rather apropos. The kaiju thing, as fun as it might be, is just a gimmick at the end of the day. Within the story itself, it’s the reason why Kuroe has no friends. But ironically for the anime, it is the shiny packaging that draws you in only to find the same, basic formula hidden underneath. This is just another shoujo-esque (it’s technically a seinen) romance about a shy, introverted wallflower who stumbles headfirst into love when the hot, popular guy inexplicably takes an interest in her. Cue the bullies getting mad and likely retaliating. For some reason, the show Honey Lemon Soda comes to mind, but I’m sure you can come up with other examples.

Of course, that’s a bit reductive and thus I’m not being entirely fair. Arata likes Kuroe precisely because he thinks she has the bones to be herself. The tension lies in the fact that she still has something to hide from him — that she’s really not as brave as she seems — and whether or not she’ll ever trust him enough to tell him the truth about herself. Will she be tempted to embrace conventional beauty in some misguided bid to keep him around or will she embrace her natural beauty (read: kaiju) and let the chips fall where they may? So even though the show adheres to a basic formula for its premise, it could still be executed well. It could still entertain.

Ultimately, I’m still unsure about this show. Personally, the kaiju part at the end was actually the least interesting bit of the opening episode (it ran a bit too long and felt tedious as a result). But I kinda enjoyed the rest of it. When you get right down to it, however, my dilemma is a logistical one. Basically, I still need something to fill the Thursday slot in my schedule (ignore the fact that this post went up on Friday morning), and I can definitely say it won’t be the other shows I watched earlier. But I’m also curious to see how Mebius Dust shakes out, which will air in about a week’s time. We’ll see; I’ll definitely keep my eye on this show.