It’s a race between Akame ga Kill! and Terra Formars to see who can bore us more with terribly unimaginative fight scenes. Let’s see what the former has to offer.

— The episode starts off with Tatsumi wishing he could’ve spent more time with his dead allies. Well, I’ll say! We barely spent any time with… with… shit, I’ve forgotten what her name is already! Oh right, it’s Chelsea!

— Hell, everyone was super worked up when Sheele died, but it’s like business as usual with Chelsea. Of course, they have a mission to carry out, but I’m just saying… no one is really all that sad that Chelsea is now gone. That just goes to show you how much of a throwaway character she is.

— Tatsumi says they have to overthrow the empire in order to cut at the root of evil. Eh, it’s hard to say that of an entire empire, only its government is evil and the people are perfect exploited, little angels. Something about this world allows for corrupt leaders to appear. Even if you overthrow Honest, someone else will just rise up and replace him. It’s a mistake to act like evil is a person that you can just kill.

— Oh? Kurome is standing behind Esdeath and others. Has she recovered from Chelsea’s attack already?

— Take a gander at these clowns. There’s an endless supply of groups. Have you noticed that? We have Night Raid, the Jaegers, Esdeath’s former Three Beasts, and now, the Four Rakshasa Demons. Christ, what’s next? There’s certainly another group out there waiting to join the fray, right? Someone said something about a third faction a while back? Anyway, it’s just fucking stupid how these characters keep popping up out of nowhere. It would be so much more meaningful if two groups had struggled against each other from the start of the story. Akame ga Kill! opts instead to kill underdeveloped characters left and right, creating more to fill the void. Likewise, these four demons are total throwaways. Their character designs even scream, “We’re not important!”

— Apparently, these weirdos are strong enough to defeat Imperial Arms users with out having Arms themselves. Sure, whatever. At this point, the world-building here has gone to shit anyway.

— Turns out Kurome is still feeling the effects of Chelsea’s attack. Even so, I find it funny when people say this story has the guts to kill its characters off. The only people who ever die are the expendable ones. Bols was the next in line, so of course, he would die next. Wake me up when someone like Kurome dies. Or Mine.

— Oh no, Bols is dead! And he had a wife and kid! Sorry, but who in their right mind would give a shit? People act as if having a family automatically makes you a decent person, which is a joke in itself. Yo, the dude was a murderer, plain and simple. Blah blah blah, he was just following orders! Are you seriously going to use that as a defense? Seriously? Yeah, the soldiers at Auschwitz were just following orders. The soldiers involved in the My Lai massacre were just following orders. The soldiers participating in the Rape of Nanking were also just following orders. And I bet all of them regretted their actions after the fact! Yeah, well, regret ain’t fucking good enough. I know this might come as a fucking shock to you, but maybe — just maybe! — you can be evil by simply following orders like a sheep, and all your bad feels in the world won’t make up for it. Think about it.

— Esdeath apparently dissected Chelsea’s body to uncover her identity. What? Then of course, Seryu feeds the rest to her dog.

— Kurome suddenly snaps up from her bed, insisting that she can still fight alongside her allies. As a test, Esdeath does a turnaround kick on the girl. This shit is just hilarious dumb.

— Kurome has her reasons not to withdraw. She believes she’ll be killed if she can’t prove her usefulness. The problem with Wave as a foil is that he doesn’t have strong, compelling reasons to stick with the Jaegers. I mean, people claim that he does, but how can he sit here, witness all these atrocities and not change his mind? Owing a debt is not a good enough reason to stand idly by as mass murderers are free to do what they do.

— And it’s already too late to correct this. That’s why it’s silly that the story tries to portray the Jaegers as just the other team on the other side. Right from the get-go, the villains are painted as hilariously evil people. As a result, you can’t turn around now and expect me to feel sorry for these characters. You just can’t.

— Case in point, is there a potential romantic connection between Wave and Kurome? Point is, I don’t care.

— Mine tells Tatsumi not to let his guard down, but she screams at the top of her lungs when he goes to get some ice cream. Oh yeah, our assassins are enjoying ice cream.

— The girl then blushes because Tatsumi has matured. How has he matured, though? Because he’s focusing on the mission! Wow, such maturity! I guess that’s a good enough reason to start liking the guy!

— Then we get a naked Najenda in the middle of the episode, because fanservice is cool, and Lubbock is dumb enough to think that performing a mission well will make a woman throw herself at him. Unfortunately for him, his actions are obvious enough that members of the Four Rakshasa demons have taken notice of him. Lubbock could die next, but I’m not sure if he’s more expendable than Susanoo. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. But eventually, all the other guys will die and leave Tatsumi alone with a bunch of hot female assassins. How convenient.

— Later that night, fights break out across Kyoroch. Akame runs into some trouble of her own, and hell, her would-be assassin even knows her! Too bad he’s not remotely fearsome, because it looks like he’s wearing boy shorts. As for Lubbock, he tries to play dead to avoid having to fight, but when a cute girl is about to die, he decides to risk both his life and his mission to save her life. What a hero!

— Yo, doesn’t Lubbock’s Imperial Arms remind you of Terra Formars’ Akari?

— It’s just too bad these fights don’t look remotely cool. I mean, shit, if your arms can stretch out that long, why are you just targeting her front?

— Naturally, the only damage that Akame sustains is to her outfit. This way, you get to see her delicious side boob. Anime just gotta anime.

— Then even though the bad guy had had an advantage up until now, he stupid charges at Akame out of nowhere and gets himself cut down. Even worse, the animation is terrible.

— Out of nowhere, Run tries to do a surprise attack on Akame, but when it fails, he just flies off.  Nevertheless, I don’t know why he didn’t just help the last guy fight Akame. But hey, that’s just how these stories are. Characters are never smart, and fans will always defend their actions anyway.

— Every fight’s the same. No matter who it is, these characters just throw punches out at super-speeds even when they fail. Again, sure, Dragon Ball Z popularized this. But again, that was over two decades ago. It’s time to innovate, but Akame ga Kill! is not the show to do such a thing.

— Then of course, because the anime has no imagination, the fight is interrupted so that Lubbock can explain where his Imperial Arms had come from. Yo, the thread used to belong to a majestic beast from the eas–…. snore.

— Two members of the Rakshasa Demons are down already. Yep, truly expendable.

— Next up? A girl who fights with her heavy sweat. Then she becomes a blur of blue and green stripes. Yeah, I don’t even know. In the end, it doesn’t matter anyway; Lubbock kills her too. So that’s three down. Oh hey, Lubbock even makes sure to finish the job. Chelsea could’ve learned a thing or two from him!

— What has Tatsumi and Mine been doing, you ask? Oh, just this and that.

— They then run into the founder of the Path of Peace, who encourages the two of them to become a couple. Yo, don’t give them any ideas. They might just take you up on that offer. Plus, it would be so passe for Tatsumi to get with the tsunderekko.

— Elsewhere, Borick addresses a young girl: “Remove your clothes. I’ll cleanse you with a special ritual.” Welp. I have no clue why this scene is even important to the story. It’s not, obviously. Anyway, the episode ends with Esdeath swearing to crush Najenda. Ho hum.