Hey look, it’s the obligatory seasonal preview post. By the way, Nyoron has come out of hiding to give us her blunt takes on these shows. Yay, I have some help for once! Oh by the way, her opinions of anime are like mine but on steroids.
The “Stuff That Looks Likes It’s For Kids” Tier
I definitely won’t watch any of these shows.
The “Shorts” Tier
I might watch one or two of these shorts, but I wouldn’t blog about them. If I can’t write at least 500 words on an anime, it doesn’t deserve a post.
Ai Mai Mi ~Mousou Catastrophe~
Yama no Susume Season 2
Yami Shibai Second Season
The “Sequels to Stuff I Have Never Watched” Tier
I generally do not like to jump into the middle of a story no matter how good it might be. I guess Free! technically belongs in this category, but if it wins the poll, I’ll make an exception for the anime.
Kuroshitsuji: Book of Circus
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Synopsis: A boy has enlisted the help of a demon butler to enact revenge on the people who had captured and tortured him.
My take: Apparently, previous anime adaptations had diverged from the original manga storyline. What a terrible thing to do, I know. In any case, this series will aim to remedy that little problem. Too bad I haven’t watched a second of Kuroshitsuji, and I don’t really see a point in starting now.
Nyoron’s take: Come on, anime. Are you even trying? When the word “shit” is in your title, you’re literally telling me the anime is going to be shit. I imagine this anime appeals to the members of NAMBLA.
Synopsis: A comedy series about a bunch of dimwits and their various adventures across the galaxy.
My take: Wasn’t interested in the first season, not interested now.
Nyoron’s take: So the dude in this picture looks like something is being rammed in his ass, or he’s reached an epiphany. Knowing anime though, it’s probably both. Oh, on an additional note, the anime will probably suck.
The “I Just Won’t Watch It For Some Reason or Other” Tier
This is where you guys get to accuse me of being close-minded. Have at it!
Studio: Kinema Citrus
Synopsis: A city guy is forced out of his element, but it’s okay! He’ll soon learn to love this quaint Japanese island he’s been exiled to. Oh yeah, he even befriends a young girl while he’s there!
My take: He befriends a young girl. Boy, can you imagine that? I sure as hell can’t imagine befriending a young boy, but a young girl, though? That’s perfectly A-OK. Hey, wait a minute… Kinema Citrus is producing this anime. It’s the Kinema Citrus, a.k.a. the wonderful folks behind the Black Bullet, spring season’s best anime! So we go from one series about a guy befriending a young girl to another series about a guy befriending a young girl. Man, what a coincidence! In any case, this is slice-of-life, so I’m sure it’ll be boring as hell.
Nyoron’s take: THANKS OBAMA.
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon: Crystal
Studio: Toei Animation
Synopsis: A classic mahou shoujo anime gets an update.
My take: Probably not my thing, but we’ll see.
Nyoron’s take: Recent anime has been, for a lack of a better word, lackluster. Famed animation studio Toei Animation has decided to pull out a classic and show new anime how it’s done. This will probably be the best anime on this list, a feat that I cannot describe as either funny or sad.
Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya 2wei!
Studio: Silver Link
Synopsis: Some crappy Fate/stay night spinoff.
My take: In my experience, most spinoffs are worthless, especially if they feature magical girls. Gosh, I really like this universe and its characters, but if only there was a way to make it all about pubescent-looking girls doing stupid shit!
Nyoron’s take: No.
Futsuu no Joshikousei ga [Locodol] Yatte Mita.
Synopsis: A 4-koma about a pair of girls who become idols because one of their uncles requested it.
My take: Idols. ‘Nuff said.
Nyoron’s take: Probably the sound your pet makes as you fap to yet another slice-of-life anime featuring high school girls. This sound is usually followed up by your pet going for your throat.
Synopsis: I’m sure we all know what the Monogatari series are all about by now.
My take: I’m not even going to touch this show with a ten-foot pole. Go tilt your heads elsewhere, Shaft.
Nyoron’s take: It looks shitty, and anyone who likes it is a shitty person.
Synopsis: Girl meets a fairy, who introduces her to the world of yosakoi dancing.
My take: Cute girls dancing, singing, and playing music. Pass. The animation from the PV looks nice, but seriously, this show couldn’t possibly be any further from my interests.
Nyoron’s take: ORDINARY IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT IN MEETING A FAIRY!
Synopsis: A guy is assigned to the advice column of his school newspaper. He gets to work with three other girls.
My take: The PV makes it look about as interesting as paint drying. I can’t find anything else on the internet to suggest that this show is even remotely worthwhile to watch.
Nyoron’s take: This is the sound your friends make when you show them yet another slice-of-life anime that features yet another bland cast of high school students. For fuck’s sake, man, you are 40 and still watching this shit. High school has been over for decades.
Studio: J.C. Staff
Synopsis: Guy tries to help some loli demon become a witch again, but it’ll come at the cost of his own life.
My take: The heroine looks creepily young like so many heroines this season. I’m sure I wouldn’t find this anime’s comedic hijinks very funny either, so I’m going to have to pass. A pity, I know.
Nyoron’s take: Not as good as Harry Potter.
Momo Kyun Sword
Studio: Tri-Slash / Project No. 9
Synopsis: Anime has taken Momotaro and turned him into a girl with a huge rack. Just anime things…
My take: That’s how it is nowadays. You can’t get people interested in folklore anymore unless you’ve got shiny tits flopping every which direction.
Nyoron’s take: Of course Japan is obsessed with turning men into women.
Synopsis: Kid time-travels to the past and finds that he must become Nobunaga.
My take: There seems to be a law out there that every season must have at least one anime that is somehow related to Nobunaga’s dessicated corpse, both figuratively and literally. Anyway, I’m generally not interested in stories that are set in the past. I am especially not interested in Nobunaga anymore. Anime has succeeded in beating this dead horse into the ground.
Nyoron’s take: Japan gets bombed by the USA in WWII. Anything that happens before that is basically history.
Studio: Studio Pierrot
Synopsis: The new transfer student is forced to join a wacky club full of wacky activities.
My take: Probably just another brainless comedy. I doubt it has a plot, so I doubt I’ll watch it. Even if I did, I’d have nothing to say about it anyway.
Nyoron’s take: Probably the sound your neighbor makes as he slices your stomach in attempt to get you to stop watching these shitty high school slice-of-life animes. But you probably won’t.
The “Not Enough Information” Tier
I just don’t know anything about these shows to make my usual snap judgments.
Synopsis: Guy takes a keen interest in the art of dining.
My take: I think this is only going to be a four-episode OVA. The subject matter is actually something I’m interested in, so I’ll watch it… if anyone will actually bother to sub it. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t blog the show, though. It’s bad enough nobody read the Mushishi posts. I really doubt anyone would read the posts on this thing.
Nyoron’s take: This seems like a great anime for otakus or OCD people to watch. Finally, someone who empathizes with them.
Shirogane no Ishi Argevollen
Synopsis: Mecha anime about two warring sides. A guy saves a girl who’s being attacked. So, uh, what’s different about this mecha anime?
My take: The PV does not look very inspired. Those are some rather boring character designs as well. I can’t say much else about the show because there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of information floating around out there. And as you can see, the premise is pretty generic. It’s written by a guy who doesn’t have much of a resume, either. I like Cat Soup, but how much of it can you attribute to him? Oh well… it’s a mecha anime, so I’ll check it out anyway.
Nyoron’s take: Probably about a love triangle, a floating girl, and some ugly mecha. The dude looks like a lady, though.
Synopsis: A girl acquires special powers and decides to use them to fight back against evildoers. They have special powers too!
My take: Like everything else in this tier, I can’t find much information on this show. Even the only PV I could dig up is only 16 seconds long. Basically, the show’s a complete wild card in my mind. Oh, I could check out the manga, but why ruin the fun!
Nyoron’s take: What is this girl on? She sees a flying penguin, then a fish goes through her and gives her magical powers. Sounds like LSD.
The “Bishies” Tier
I’ll watch one of these shows. One. See the poll below. Having said that, we all know which of these shows is going to win anyway.
Studio: Studio DEEN
Synopsis: Pretty boys from the Bakumatsu era try to rebel against a restrictive government by forming a rock band.
My take: As I watch the PV, I have to admit that these bishounens have very impressive hairdos. But c’mon, nobody needs me to cover this show. I just wouldn’t have anything to say about it. I won’t care for the setting, I won’t care for the characters, and I definitely wouldn’t like the music. So y’know, why bother?
Nyoron’s take: If Japan has to be saved by a group of these chucklefucks, it’s done for. Thank god for Admiral Yi and turtle boats.
Free! Eternal Summer
Studio: Kyoto Animation
Synopsis: A bunch of pretty boys take a dip in the pool again.
My take: I’ve only watched a single episode of the first season, and I don’t even remember what I originally thought of the show back then. I actually know nothing about Free! Absolutely nothing. On the bright side, it doesn’t look rapey nor does it feature boring ass idols. Swimming could also be a potentially interesting topic. There’s just one problem: fuck KyoAni.
Nyoron’s take: No offense, but the way that one guy is holding his butt out, this looks like a sausage fest if you get what I mean. And I think you do know what I mean.
Studio: J.C. Staff
Synopsis: An actor fell in love with the main character when they were kids. Here comes the plot twist, though: he thought the main character was a girl. Now that he realizes that the main character is actually a boy, however, the actor is still undeterred! Well, that’s nice but…
My take: …the character designs look nasty as fuck. Not only that, the love interest looks like a rapist. Sure enough, the promo material looks rapey as fuck too. Why is it always one bigger, manlier-looking guy manhandling his lover? Cheap titillation, that’s what.
Nyoron’s take: See Free!
Shounen Hollywood -Holly Stage for 49-
Synopsis: Something about male idols honing their talents. Yawn.
My take: I don’t care about idols. It doesn’t matter if they’re cute or handsome, I just do not care.
Nyoron’s take: See Love Stage!!
Synopsis: A guy who runs a junk shop gets pulled into the mysterious events on his home island. Well, murder is in the title, so it’s probably not hard to guess where this is going.
My take: As I watch the PV, I can’t help but notice that 99% of the characters are male. Well duh, it’s a BL series! But seriously, does that actually make a difference? Do you think I care that a show features homosexual romance? Of course not. Hell, it certainly doesn’t hurt to see romance from a different perspective. Nevertheless, why do these stories feel the need to remove the other gender completely? Do gay guys not have female friends? Likewise, can lesbians not have male friends? It just seems silly to me to create a world that is uniformly monogender. Having the opposite sex in the universe won’t “straight” it up. What’s the problem, then? I thus can’t help but think that these stories are good for nothing but cheap titillation.
Nyoron’s take: See Shounen Hollywood.
So anyway, here’s the poll. Vote away. I’ll only watch the winning show.
The “Harem Hill Fodder” Tier
I kind of played myself into a corner here. People will expect me to do Harem Hill every season, and sadly, I think I’ll have to oblige my readership of five dedicated souls.
Rokujouma no Shinryakusha!?
Studio: Silver Link
Synopsis: Some kid gets to live alone in his incredibly cheap apartment. Big surprise there. Unfortunately, the apartment is haunted by a ghost who wants him to get out of her home. Before he knows it, mahou shoujos begin to show up and use his place as their battleground. Oh man, I sure do pity him!
My take: Just another generic harem anime that I’ll have to cover. Other than the designated big-boobed girl, the rest of them look creepily young, but that’s how it has always been lately. I don’t really know what else one can really expect from harem anime anymore.
Nyoron’s take: An original high school harem anime. Not like all those other high school harem animes.
Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance
Synopsis: Something about elementalists and forming contracts with spirits. It’s a harem anime, so who really cares what it’s about?
My take: Ugh, just look at the artwork for the light novels. Also, if you take a peek at the show’s Wikipedia page, someone has spent a lot of time on it. Holy shit, the main character himself gets a mini-essay devoted to him. Hell, why even read Harem Hill? You guys can just read the Wikipedia page instead!
Nyoron’s take: If you read the synopsis, you see that a guy becomes the only male spirit elementalist. Spoilers: it is known that harem leads are actually girls.
The “Eh, It Looks Bad to Iffy” Tier
Basically, this is just me being a pessimistic bastard. But seriously, these shows will probably suck.
Akame ga Kill!
Studio: White Fox
Synopsis: A young, hapless villager is recruited into a group of assassins. They begin to form a resistance against the corrupt empire. How exciting.
My take: I can’t find a PV that shows me any plot. I guess I could spoil the story for myself by reading the character bios on the show’s Wikipedia page, but meh… Anyway, from the looks of it, Akame ga Kill! seems to have a pretty whatever premise. Not only that, the two leads do not appear to have any unique personality whatsoever. Seeing as how the female lead is an assassin, I bet the girl is cold, no-nonsense, and hard to talk to! But worry not! We’ll soon see her softer side, uguu.
Nyoron’s take: The lead girl looks like Akali and will probably die like a lil’ bitch like Akali. She will then whine that you stole her kill when she’s dead. She will not rush gunblade, and she will feed all game.
Studio: P.A. Works
Synopsis: A bunch of high school students learn to blow glass.
My take: The song in the PV sounds annoying as hell, and the characters look like everything else P.A. Works has ever done. The story sounds dull as fuck as well. To top it all off, the anime looks melodramatic as all hell. But really? Glass-blowing? What is this hipster shit? This just looks like yet another contemporary slice-of-life anime where high school kids take an interest in something quaint and steeped in tradition, and this totally makes them oh-so-different from their peers. Heh, I bet their classmates only care about grades or hanging out at some trendy hangout too! Ugh!
Nyoron’s take: Another shitty high school anime. She wants to blow glass, but by the end of this anime, she’ll probably be blowing dongs.
Synopsis: A guy and his friends play with trains.
My take: The PV makes the anime look like edutainment. I’m already yawning… I’ve personally never been interested in trains or anything with an engine. Sure, I drive a car. But I don’t really give it a second thought. Anyway, I can’t imagine finding myself too enthralled by this anime.
Nyoron’s take: Where’s a rail gun when you need one? Of course, this is full of high school kids. DO YOU TRUST A HIGH SCHOOL KID WITH DRIVING YOUR TRAIN?
Synopsis: Ordinary people dislike how
mutants Minimum Holders, people with special powers, get all the perks in life. Some crazed maniac tries to turn everyone into a Minimum Holder in order to create his ideal world. It’s kind of like the X-Men but lamer.
My take: I tried to watch the first season, but I just couldn’t get into it. There was one overarching plot that the series stretched out over the entire season. As a result, I got to watch the main character solve a bunch of lame cases before important shit actually went down. Needless to say, the show failed to keep my interest. Honestly, the anime might be watchable if the narrative was just a touch more focused. I’ll take a look to see if anything’s changed in the second season, but I’m not holding out any hope for it.
Nyoron’s take: A special group of people with minor miracle powers or whatever. I’m gonna need a miracle if I’m gonna watch this anime.
Studio: Studio Pierrot
Synopsis: Our shounen protagonist becomes a half-ghoul. He then probably fights full-ghouls. He’ll probably also fight the good guys as well because they think he’s a full-ghoul.
My take: I’ll check it out, but the PV gives me a cheap, pulpy action vibe. That doesn’t mean the anime can’t be entertaining, but I doubt it will be memorable or interesting to talk about.
Nyoron’s take: No doubt the creator of this manga thought he was being deep and edgy when he wrote this.
The “Sappy Romance That I Will Give Up On At The Last Minute” Tier
I just can’t help it, man. If romance protagonists weren’t all idiots, I’d actually finish one of these shows for once.
Ao Haru Ride
Studio: Production I.G
Synopsis: A guy and a girl used to be friends. Guy went away. Guy comes back. He now has a different name. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!
My take: I take a look at the guy’s description on the show’s Wikipedia page, and sure enough, he’s an asshole: “His personality has also taken a turn, for he is now more masculine, sarcastic, and crude. In addition, he has extremely pessimistic views about himself and about his brother.” But here’s the best part: “…it is evident that Kou is still an overall kind person.” Uh-huh. New season, same old story. Girl will redeem a bad boy, but tears will be shed.
Nyoron’s take: This one will be an emotional rollercoaster as some guy attempts to switch his name in order to avoid his middle school stalker. But for some reason, he goes back to the same high school as his stalker. Perhaps he likes being chased.
Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun
Synopsis: A girl is in love with a mangaka, but she botched her confession so he thinks she’s just a fan. Eventually, she becomes his assistant in order to get closer to him.
My take: C’mon, does the guy in the image above look like a high schooler to you? And c’mon, why not just make them college-aged students at the very least? Are you seriously trying to tell me that the guy goes to school and pens a shoujo manga all at the same time? Not only that, a magazine even publishes it? Not everything has to be about high schoolers, goddamn.
Nyoron’s take: JUST CONFESS TO THE GUY YOU LIKE GOD DAMN IT AND STOP WATCHING SHITTY HIGH SCHOOL ANIME IF YOU ARE PAST HIGH SCHOOL AND IF YOU AREN’T SHOULDN’T YOU BE GOING INTO EXTRACIRRICULARS ANYWAYS HOLY SHIT.
The “Haven’t I Already Watched This?” Tier
I’ll probably still watch them, though. But does anyone actually want me to blog about either of these retreads?
Persona 4 The Golden Animation
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Synopsis: Uh, it’s Persona 4. Okay, okay, I’ll give a better synopsis. A guy and his friends discover that they can summon mythical beings known as Personas to aid them in battle. They will then use said power to aid them in solving the string of unsolved murders plaguing the small town of Inaba.
My take: Y’know, I didn’t even think the first Persona 4 adaptation was all that bad. It was amusing enough until the incredibly drawn-out ending. I don’t really see the point in remaking the series just to include a few extra characters, but what do I know? Will this new series even promote significant sales for the game anymore, though? After all, I thought the point of the original adaptation was to promote Persona 4 The Golden to begin with. So what is this one for? Yeah, there’s Persona 4 Arena Ultimax coming out soon, but I sure as hell wouldn’t buy it just because I watched this latest adaptation. Plus, it annoyed me that the previous anime adaptation had failed to pick one of the girls to be the main character’s love interest. I don’t care who they pick, but it’s just lame to adapt a game with love sim elements just to, well, ignore all of the potential romantic options in the story. In any case, I doubt the remake will change anything on that front.
Nyoron’s take: Are you for real? I liked the game and the previous adaptation, but god dammit Atlus, I fucking hate you.
Synopsis: It’s a futuristic crime-thriller that is mainly about a criminal mastermind trying to bring down Japan’s society. I’d say more, but you’ve probably already seen the first season of the show.
My take: Those edits had better be extensive to make this re-airing remotely necessary. I’ll probably still watch it, though.
Nyoron’s take: An “edited version” probably means that it’s the exact same anime, but that hasn’t stopped otakus from buying the same exact thing before. I recommend this anim-… PSYCH. You should pass on it.
The “Looks Like It Might Be Okay” Tier
Might. Might. Last season, I stuck Gokukoku no Brynhildr, Hitsugi no Chaika, One Week Friends, and Black Bullet into this category. Boy, was I wrong or what! So yeah, watch me be dead wrong about the shows below as well.
Studio: A-1 Pictures / TOROYCA
Synopsis: Something about a hypergate to moon leading to the colonization of Mars, but eventually, war breaks out. Oh yeah, it’ll have mechas.
My take: For me, Urobochi is hit-or-miss. I liked Psycho-Pass… and… uh, I liked Psycho-Pass. Well then, I guess he’s been way more miss than hit for me. For what it’s worth, Urobochi works are generally interesting to talk about, even if I don’t always like them. The only exception is Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet. That was a total snoozejob. Anyway, I can’t find too much information out there on this show. I suspect they can remain this tight-lipped on the plot since Urobochi’s name is attached to it.
Nyoron’s take: I can’t imagine this anime being good. Its tagline is trying to be all pretentious, but instead, it just doesn’t make any sense.
Zankyou no Terror
Synopsis: A terrorist attack strikes Japan. Who are the people behind it? Two kids, apparently.
My take: Oh boy, look at the big names leading this anime! Shinichiro Watanabe as the director! Yoko Kanno as the composer! This means the show will be good, right? Shrug… I’ll level with you guys. Out of this entire list, Zankyou no Terror probably has the highest chance of being watchable. Having said that, I just can’t get excited for yet another story about a bunch of kids. I’ll watch it, I’ll analyze it, I’ll probably even enjoy it, but then I’ll wonder what it could’ve been. For what it’s worth, the animation in the PV looks alright.
Nyoron’s take: I found that if an anime has a tagline, it’s probably shitty. No Zankyou!
The “This Gary Stu Anime Deserves a Tier of Its Own” Tier
Gary Stu is life. Gary Stu is forever.
Sword Art Online II
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Synopsis: Our Gary Stu farts around in yet another MMO, but this time, he’s playing as a girl character. What? Do you have a problem with that, you transphobic shitlord? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
My take: I’ve already written my love letter to SAO. I’ll thus save my energy for when the sequel finally graces us with its splendor. But please, Kirito-chan, don’t put your handgun next to one of your ears!
Nyoron’s take: Something that a MMO-addict would no doubt appreciate as they proudly show their friends that playing a female character is okay. I hope the MMO is Harry Potter Online Adventures since the main character seems to be dressed in a school girl outfit.