Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet Ep. 6: Some cheats are good, some cheats are bad

Yeah, sure, we got a giant coliseum on campus. What? You guys don’t? Pfft, peasants. 

— Romio only has one thing in mind: win MVP in order to command Juliet to call him by his first name! Egads! The impropriety of such a suggestion!

— We start off with a bit of trash talk between the two factions, but it looks kinda… pathetic. Two tiny, little groups are all that you guys can muster? It’s like that tiny airport fight in Captain America: Civil War.

— Now, you might have expected some amazing athletic feats out of this competition, but nah. First up is a lousy tug-of-war. C’mon, a tug-of-war? How dull.

— At first, the Black Doggies look to be winning with ease, because all the guys in front for the White Cats are not exactly physically imposing. But for some reason, Somali is super duper omega strong. By herself, she is able to turn the tides on the Black Doggies. Pathetic.

— Unfortunately, Aby cheers her on, which causes Somali to inadvertently let go of the rope. As a result, the Black Doggies win.

— Next up is a race. What? You think we’re going to waste money on animation? Hell no. You’re gonna get action lines and you’re gonna like it!

— Chizuru then blatantly cheats in front of the entire school, but I’m sure nobody has their eyes on him. It’s not like he’s in the lead or anything.

— After all, Char is also cheating just as blatantly, and nobody seems to mind.

— Chizuru tries to appeal to the referee, but he does this mid-race. As a result, Char overtakes him and wins. That ref might as well be a sack of potatoes.

— Juliet must have been watching the race, right? Nevertheless, she runs up and tells Char afterwards that her bestie’s performance was just amazing. So either the girl is blind (she’s not) or she condones cheating (ding ding ding). Way to go, Romio. You sure bagged yourself a good one. Hurr I wanna change the world.

— During the one-hour break, Juliet tells Romio that her mother is in attendance. Again, she wants to win MVP in order to gain, uh,  influence or whatever. It’s like an RPG where you have to faction grind. And if she gets influence, she can change the world. Hearing his own girlfriend say something like this, I bet you anything that Romio will try and sabotage his own chances to help her win. He’s that kind of doofus.

— To be fair, I suppose Romio’s goals aren’t exactly all that important. If she wins, she gets to fulfill her dreams (in theory). If he wins, she calls him by his first name? Yeah, it doesn’t exactly measure up.

— Doofus for brains then asks his girlfriend if he should introduce himself to her mother. Aren’t you guys trying to keep this relationship a secret? Ah well.

— A cheer battle? It doesn’t matter. All we get is more action lines.

— In one of the competitions, Somali sabotages Juliet by stepping on her ankle. This is all at Aby’s behest, because the guy wants MVP for himself. Well, I’m sure they all do. But he especially wants MVP because he’s just a plain narcissist.

— So in following relay race, Juliet pulls ahead of Hasuki, but she ends up tripping and dropping her baton due to her injury. Romio wants to run to her side, but obviously, all eyes are on them. Y’know, the same eyes that didn’t see all the blatant cheating from earlier. The same eyes that also didn’t see Somali step on Juliet. As a result, Char tells our protagonist to suck it up and stay back.

— Juliet still insists that she can continue competing. But just like that, people turn on her. People are blind and stupid. What a shocker. Anyways, this just means Romio will try even harder to make sure his girlfriend comes out on top.

— We soon see Juliet in the infirmary with her ankle all wrapped up. She’s basically out for the count. Does this mean she can’t win MVP? Oh, I’m sure she still can.

— Char then tells Romio about the beef between Juliet and Aby, so now he’s got himself a mission. He even recalls Juliet’s words about winning MVP at all costs, so yeah… you can expect Aby to go down by the end of this episode.

— Meanwhile, Juliet drowns in her own self-pity, because she thinks she can’t possibly change the world if she can’t even get MVP at some dinky sports competition. Priorities, man, priorities! Do you think most Nobel Peace Prize winners have ever won a sports competition? Probably not!

— The funny this is that Juliet doesn’t even need to sit out the final competition. It’s a cavalry battle, and considering her size and stature, she’d be the one being carried, not the other way around. As a result, she wouldn’t even need to be on her feet. But whatever, because this is Romio’s moment of glory… for now.

— Romio wants to battle Aby head-on, but unfortunately, Chizuru doesn’t want to cooperate. Well, I guess you can’t expect much from a scumbag like him. Yo, I haven’t forgotten that he and his friends tried to sexually assault Juliet in the first episode.

Oh Scott… bad timing, my man.

— All of a sudden, Aby snaps a finger, and one of the girls carrying Hasuki falls to her knees. I like how this cheating is bad and evil, but the other instances of cheating were just harmless fun!

— Anyways, this results in Hasuki being knocked out of the competition. And despite this, Romio is still stuck on an immobile Chizuru. Chizuru’s two buddies are passed out on the ground, because their water bottles have been spiked with sleeping drugs. But then Juliet shows up as Julio, so the scumbag suddenly gets motivated. Ah well, at least he knows which team to bat for.

— And just like that, Romio and Chizuru proceed to turn this competition on its head. Aby is still cocky, but Chizuru’s friends literally take out Aby’s team with tasers. Anything goes. We may as well whip out guns and just start shooting each other. I’m not even joking, man. At least that would be kinda shocking and funny to watch. I really enjoy a comedy when it just keeps going beyond its limits and approaching absurdity. The problem with this show is that it stays in that safe, milquetoast zone where the characters are being ridiculous, but not ridiculous enough to be amusing.

— When Somali tries to kick Chizuru, Romio catches her leg and takes a close look at her shoes. The soles are covered in sharp tacks. You’d think Juliet would’ve gone down immediately after she got stepped on since her ankle should’ve been bleeding all over the place. But again, whatever.

— Aby then gives us some stupid sob story about how he used to be fat and short. Not only that, the upper class keeps looking down on the lower class, and that’s why he has to cheat to climb to the top. Naw man, you don’t gotta do that. Just eat the rich alive! Unfortunately, the guy has no imagination. He doesn’t want to dismantle the status quo. He just wants to enshrine himself as one of the elites. He’s a filthy class traitor.

Romio hears ya. Romio don’t care.

— But before the announcer can declare victory for the Black Doggies, Romio starts calling for Juliet to come forth. After all, he wants her to win MVP. But in front of everybody, he’s going to claim that this victory is meaningless if it isn’t against Juliet. People lap this up, too.

See? She’s being carried anyways. There was no reason for Juliet to even sit the cavalry battle out in the first place. Ah well, come back next week to see Juliet win for sure.

— Oh, were there always eyecatches at the end of every episode?

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